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Almost hate to ask..September birthdays
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Anonymous
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DS is in PreK this year and we will soon have to decide what to do about starting Kindergarten. The problem is DS will be 5 on Sept 28th - 2 days before the cut-off for Kindergarten in Virginia. I reviewed some of the red shirting disucssions, painful as they were, but most would agree a birthday 2 days before does not truely count as red-shirting.
DS is a happy, easy-going kid. Seem age appropriate but in no way advanced for his age in gross motor, fine motor nor verbal skills - maturity level seems average also... Though in truth what do I really know about the norms or acceptable deviations from normal for a 4 year old. He is our oldest and we have few friends with kids the same age nearly. My only desire is that DS is not ata disadvantage due to his younger age - not looking for an advantage over other kids. Just hoping to maintain the happy, easy going personality. How do you make this decision?!? |
Anonymous
My brother and I were both born the last week of September; so late that we were both born in Autumn. It was never a problem for me in school, but I was introverted, studious, and most importantly - a girl. It was always a problem for him. He was smaller and less-developed compared to his classmates, also introverted, and more lost. Sure this was caught up by 3rd or 4th grade, but by then the pattern was set. I'm sure people will damn and blast this opinion, but I can tell you without hesitation that if my mother could do it all over again she'd keep me young but red-shirt my brother. Oh - and my downtown OB (seems invasive to name the practice) said something much in the same vein. She red-shirted one of her two boys and in her words "Best decision I ever made." Good luck whatever you decide. |
Anonymous
| Since he's in PreK, have you asked his teacher about this? That would be my first step in the decision. He probably is one of the youngest in PreK this year and is doing well by what you say. His teacher should be able to tell you how he compares to his peer group. I would have a hard time holding him back if the teacher says he ready. |
Anonymous
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Agree with talking to the preschool teacher. Also talk to the principal at the school your DS will be attending -- does the school prefer that you red-shirt a younger child? Does it stereotype boys and girls?
I sent my September boy on time, and it has worked out fantastically well. I wouldn't describe it as the "Best decision I ever made," but it was absolutely the right thing to do -- for us. |
Anonymous
| My mid Sept DD (age 4 now) will not start K next year. We have an older DD who is in public school in Virginia and has several red shirted peers. There are 4 children I can count in her class of 22 alone who were born in the summer and entered K as already 6. No way am I putting my 4 year old DD into K with 6 year olds. |
Anonymous
| Personally, my DS is the second youngest in his pre-k class (a month away from the cut off). I don't see any issues or any different between him and his (male) peers. The girls, yes, tend to be neater, more verbal and have better writing and drawing abilities. But among the boys, he is plainly in the middle of pack if not the head of the pack at times. So for us, there is no dilemma - he stays with his peers and goes to K. |
Anonymous
| Hi, sorry but I am new here and with a September baby. What does "red-shirting" mean? |
Anonymous
Holding back a child who makes the cut-off for starting K. |
Anonymous
| We're in the same position as you, but in DC. For this year, when she would have been eligible for public pre-k, we elected to keep her in nursery school another year because I (and her teachers) didn't think she was ready for the bigger ratios of public school. Now we have to decide whether to send her to a private pre-k next year or public kindergarten. I have no doubt she'll be ready academically, but am worried about socially, as that is a weak area for her. I am also worried about the increased expectations with regard to sitting still, homework, etc. -- I don't think those expectations are age appropriate at all, but especially not for a kid on the younger end of things. |
Anonymous
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Possibly last year (?) someone posted the following point - which I thought was a good way to think about it.
The poster really did not want to redshirt her summer birthday boy. There were a number of children on the block who would be int he same rade and she wanted to send him with them. Over the ourse of the year before K, her observation was that her son was always a 1/2 step behind the other kids on the block. It was in everything the kids did and this was the deciding factor for her. So my recommendation is to keep an eye on him over the next few months and see where he falls vs his playmates. The decision might be very obvious for you 1 way or the other. |
Anonymous
Even though two weeks into the year she'll be five? |
Anonymous
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I'm always surprised by these threads (although I should know by now): I opened this thinking it would be about how to petition for your September child to be admitted to K despite the cutoff of the 1st (in MD).
I say if your child is ready, send them to school. In my family, "ready" has always meant breathing on the day that they are eligible to go to school: moms were eager to get their high-energy kids into a structured environment! |
Anonymous
No. I don't believe that my DD should be in a class with children who are 16 months older than she is. There is a huge difference between "in two weeks I'll be 5" and "I turned 6 in April" Yes, you heard me. April. |
Anonymous
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My DD has a Sept 13 BD. Although my decision to redshirt her was based on her maturity level, I had been debating it for years. A big reason to consider redshirting is when you think about your child's classmates...at what age will they be driving, going to college, DRINKING?
DD's maturity level was the kicker for us to redshirt, but even before that, we were pretty sure that we'd keep her back for the reasons mentioned above. Plus the fact that she has thrived being one of the older kids in her class vs the youngest. |
Anonymous
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I'll share my sister's story. She has two children with late August birthdays (Aug. 25 and Aug. 29) in a state where the cutoff is September 1. One is a boy and one is a girl. They were both reading before they turned 5. By sister agonized and agonized over whether or not to send each one on time for YEARS (practically since they were out of the womb, that's all we heard about). She asked friends - common thought among them was to hold back boys at the very least. She read articles about it. She asked her kids' preschool teachers who both said she should send each of her kids on time. She decided to send both of them on time. They were both reading. They both had decent social skills. Why hold them back if there was no specific reason to?
Her children are now 22 and 20. She had no way of knowing how her children would fare. Her son was an excellent student. He took honors classes. He always had friends. He went to a good college, just graduated, and got a good job. I asked him over Thanksgiving if he minding being the youngest at school throughout the years. He said not at all. Clearly my sister made the right decision (or at least an adequate one for her son). Her daughter, on the other hand, turn out to be an average or below average student, despite her reading before age 5 and despite my sister working with her (she has a teaching degree). She was immature and irresponsible throughout much of her school years. She IS in college and is doing okay. But my ssier often questions her decision of sending her on time. Would she have gained maturity or done better if she were the older student in her class? There is no way of knowing, although, it's hard to argue that it would have hurt her. This probably doesn't help much, but it just shows that it is hard to know when looking at and evaluating a 4-year old what they will be like in their teen years. It really is hard to know what is the right thing to do. I do know my sister (and the rest of our family) was very happy when their third child was born in March! |