Please help a city person with suburban neighborhood politics

[Anonymous]

I got invited to one of these recently and even though it's not my cup of tea, I went and met some lovely new folks around the neighborhood. It's been nice to know names and faces when I'm out for a stroll with the dog & the baby. I say go, and don't feel at all pressured to buy. But if it's an actual Tupperware party, they still make those cool shape sorter toys that I played with as a child, and they make a great gift for a young toddler in your life!

[Anonymous]

I'd go. Most of the attendees agree with you on that type of party, but go for the fun of it and treat it like a girl's night out. Plus I've never been to one of those and not found something fun to spend $20 on (or give as a gift.)

Don't make it about the stuff being sold. If you are shy, those nights can be great because there's always a distraction. Otherwise you can have fun, casual conversations and get to know people.

[Anonymous]

I have NEVER gone to one of these parties. Just so, completely NOT my thing. (another Jersey girl here, grown and raised in the suburbs)

Anytime I've been invited, I politely decline. You meet people in the neighborhood as time goes on. I wouldn't feel obligated to go to one of these if it's not your cup of tea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I too despise any "party" where I am expected to make a purchase. Most likely you're not going to meet like-minded people at this kind of event anyway. But as much as I hate to say it this might be a good way to at least meet some of the neighbors before the weather gets really cold, and whatever stupid thing they are selling can be a good default topic of conversation if you are shy. Realize that the tone of your post sounds a bit superior (not that I disagree with what you've said) and try not to let that come across when meeting your new neighbors. They may be different from your city friends but you never know who you will click with. When in Rome, right?

I'm curious - and not trying to be snarky - just what was it about OPs post that made you think she sounded 'superior'. I've read and re-read her post and for the life of me I can't see what made you think that.

I don't see it either.

I'm the PP who wrote the superior thing. It was mostly what another PP said, the inference that suburban people are totally different than city people and their neighborhood politics revolves around pyramid sales parties. Also that she said she'd rather meet people in a more "normal" way. I'm a city girl myself and a total hater of sales parties, but I've been in enough situations with different types of people to realize that it can be very hard to tell in advance who your friends are going to be in a certain situation. I don't blame the OP for feeling put off or even a bit superior to people who throw sales parties, and I know that those feelings can come across even when we don't realize it. But I guess I'm just saying that I don't think the mere fact of attending a sales party is enough information about a person to know that she can't possibly be your friend. (If she's the host, it's a bit more clear, but you still never know.) And I think a neighborhood gathering of any kind is a perfectly good way to at least get to know names and faces so you can later take time to get to know the ones you click with.

I've made the mistake of cutting myself off from people unintentionally because of something I perceived about them to be fundamentally different from me. One of my closest friends is a born-again Christian, pro-life, southern, and basically the complete opposite of me. She probably throws sales parties too. On paper we have nothing in common, but we work together, and over time I have grown to actually like and respect her a lot. It turns out she has a totally biting sense of humor, she's incredibly well-read, and she gives great advice (probably b/c she has some major juicy secrets). The funny thing is that she always tells me she thought I didn't like her at the beginning. I deny it, of course. But the point is, you never know.

[Anonymous]

Go. You may not meet your neighbors any other way. I've lived in my neighborhood in McLean (and it's got a bit of a reputation for not being terribly close knit and super friendly) for coming up on 6 yrs now, and I don't really know anyone beyond one or two people that I've spoken to in passing. Some of that is lifestyle, obviously (kids don't go to the neighborhood school, I WOH, etc). But it might just give you a good excuse to meet them in a setting all at once, and then you can figure out ways in which to get to know the ones that seem more interesting to you. So what if you don't really like sales parties and don't need tupperware or candels or whatever they're hawking these days?

[Anonymous]

Stuff White People Like To Do.

[Anonymous]

"It was mostly what another PP said, the inference that suburban people are totally different than city people and their neighborhood politics revolves around pyramid sales parties. "

No matter. In due time, OP will be contemplating suicide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stuff White People Like To Do.

LOL! But is that really true? I'm a Latina and have many aunties and cousins who love sales parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stuff White People Like To Do.

LOL! But is that really true? I'm a Latina and have many aunties and cousins who love sales parties.

LOL! I agree with this. I married a Latin man and his grammy is always trying to sell my something when we visit.

Funny thing is I actually bought a pair of 14 ct gold earrings from her a year or so ago. The first time a wore them my ears turned green and got infected...they were fake.

God love her!

[Anonymous]

That's a tough call. I am also really shy and find it difficult to meet people - it's my own fault, because I just don't initiate things. So, if that's true for you, I would go to the party. You don't have to buy anything, and it's a chance to become familiar with the neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go. You may not meet your neighbors any other way. I've lived in my neighborhood in McLean (and it's got a bit of a reputation for not being terribly close knit and super friendly) for coming up on 6 yrs now, and I don't really know anyone beyond one or two people that I've spoken to in passing. Some of that is lifestyle, obviously (kids don't go to the neighborhood school, I WOH, etc). But it might just give you a good excuse to meet them in a setting all at once, and then you can figure out ways in which to get to know the ones that seem more interesting to you. So what if you don't really like sales parties and don't need tupperware or candels or whatever they're hawking these days?

This. You should take the opportunity to meet your neighbors because you're new, OP.