Constantly surprised by oldest daughter
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Anonymous
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What is wrong with this. Would you rather she be sitting at home all day?
From what I see, she is with many different people, so friends in many different places (which for girls is so important) You don't complain about her behavior, and she is doing lo-cost activities like going to the pool. Count your blessings. |
Anonymous
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My daughter is extremely extroverted. For sixth grade, we hosted 5 or 6 parties with 25+ girls invited. We took 3 or so friends with us to our beach house for the weekend multiple times and hosted lots of hangouts.
By eighth grade, her group was no longer as large, but she is still incredibly social. Anecdotally, we have found that she has naturally focused on friends that have parents with similar parenting styles. We are the parents who let our kids have phones but no social media. We all seem to be less helipcopter than most and we let them hang out at the mall and other places with no parents. They like to do their homework together at Starbucks (and they actually get it done). The rule is they stick together. We are all parents who allow sleepovers. The moms and dads are not close friends, but we have all made some level of effort to be comfortable with one another and do some stuff together. The parents stay in touch via text so we know where our kids are. So for example, two of her friends go with their dads along with my daughter and my husband to run 1 or 2 5ks a year. We invited one family to our beach house for the weekend. We invite all the families to an annual game night we host every year. Keeping kids hanging out with each other and reducing screen time is very good for kids. This isn’t something to discourage. But you can also insist on family time too. But I would much rather my kid go to the pool with friends than sit home bored on a screen. These girls have such a good time together. They are supportive of one another. It is lovely to see them together. |
Anonymous
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^^ we were similar to the above. Very locked down phone use, generally for just texting and emergencies, no browser.
The kids wanted to hang out in person with others who had similar limits and it's great! That's exactly what their brains are programmed to start doing at this age. Have you watched the movie Inside Out 2? Family Island shrinks a bit and Friend Island gets bigger. It's expected. I do know teens who socialize a lot less in person, but many of them are on social media. In person seems so much healthier. |
Anonymous
| If my kid was genuinely never home, I would be a little bummed and concerned that perhaps she was avoiding something in our house. |
Anonymous
Why doesn’t she like you? |
Anonymous
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OP, this is great.
It's wonderful that she has friends and socializes in person. She's 12! It's summer! That's a great way for her to spend her summer. Compare it to my teenage stepsons who spend all summer in their rooms on screens. It seems awful and unhealthy. Be glad she socializes in person! |
Anonymous
| This sound like a humble brag to me. |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
Give her a bike and teach her how to get around. Teach her how to use the bus 
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Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
Worse??? It’s great and normal!!! It will become more frequent, yes. You sort of get her back when she is in college. |
Anonymous
Nothing humble about it. |