Graduation gift for unresponsible nephew

[Anonymous]

You really don’t know whether your nephew is irresponsible or not. Parents comments about their kids can be self deprecating, grandiose, exaggerating or venting.

You should treat all nieces and nephews equally.

[Anonymous]

I gave my nephew $300 and a congratulatory card. He cashed the check but did not send me a thank you note.

Is that irresponsible and/or rude? Yeah. But I gave him a give to show him I care about him and am happy for him. I was congratulating him for his achievement. My feelings do not change even if he was a bit rude and irresponsible.

OP, give a gift or don’t. But stop being such a controlling bore. Honestly, get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I want to give our nephew a fairly generous sum for his high school graduation to help him as he heads to college next year. Problem is that he's a bit flighty and not super responsible. Would it be worth it to come up with a way to disperse it over time, or am I overthinking this?

Ask your sibling if you can apply it directly to a college bill, gift card to the college bookstore, etc. I have a lot more sympathy for your post than the other PPs. Sometimes, we have to help people help themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I want to give our nephew a fairly generous sum for his high school graduation to help him as he heads to college next year. Problem is that he's a bit flighty and not super responsible. Would it be worth it to come up with a way to disperse it over time, or am I overthinking this?

Ask your sibling if you can apply it directly to a college bill, gift card to the college bookstore, etc. I have a lot more sympathy for your post than the other PPs. Sometimes, we have to help people help themselves.

+1
Wait til he's in college and give him some money each semester. It will be like a fairy godmother because he won't be expecting it. They probably have food trucks or laundry expense cards that they load up.

[Anonymous]

Don't as you will probably hold it over his head and throw it up to him or expect something in return. Give $100 for graduation and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

“Unresponsible”? That took some effort. You literally had to override autocorrect to get that word so wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Unresponsible”? That took some effort. You literally had to override autocorrect to get that word so wrong.

NP. Gawd I'm sick of trolls on this site. Whatever is going on with the nephew.

[Anonymous]

Either give him a gift, or don't and forget about it afterwards. You don't control what someone does with a gift .

[Anonymous]

529 or ask for a report card every semester then send more cash if he is progressing towards graduating

[Anonymous]

Venmo $100 a month during the year. What’s a large gift? $1000, &10,000, $100,000?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I want to give our nephew a fairly generous sum for his high school graduation to help him as he heads to college next year. Problem is that he's a bit flighty and not super responsible. Would it be worth it to come up with a way to disperse it over time, or am I overthinking this?

It's high school. get him a gift card that can help him with his dorm or flights home. help him for real when he actually graduates college

[Anonymous]

A gift is a gift. Either give the $ no strings attached or keep it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You really don’t know whether your nephew is irresponsible or not. Parents comments about their kids can be self deprecating, grandiose, exaggerating or venting.

You should treat all nieces and nephews equally.

Disagree. Nieces and nephews are gifted based on the relationship. The 12 year old who patiently plays with our little kid in summers gets much more than the 12 year old budding misogynist. I agree not to gift in front of each other.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the amount. How much are we talking here? $100 just give it to him.

[Anonymous]

Do you mean irresponsible?