Gossipy People Who Ask About your Money

[Anonymous]

I tell them. I don't care.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how close I am to them, how old they are, the purpose of the question, etc.

If it is someone young, I say something that includes I wish I had been more serious earlier... and that they should try their hardest to increase their retirement contributions and savings annually, such as when they get a raise and/or on their birthday.

If it is someone closer to my age, I say something like we have enough to be able to retire comfortably at 65, but we are still diligently saving so we can enjoy retirement.

If it is someone I am close to, I might give them a ballpark of the actual number, share that we are working with a financial advisor and hope to retire on the early side.

[Anonymous]

If you want to be petty just say something like “I’m not sure to be honest, we’ve got a team that handles that.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP I am an immigrant in my 40s and literally 5 years ago from the GME craze I learned what investing was and started to aggressively save. I’ve asked my friends what to invest in (index now I know) and how much did they save - they actually saved and some shared numbers. That told me they trust investing and it’s not a scam and that I can be brave and do it. And now I know I’m behind too. It’s not to pry or be gossipy but I grew up learning the stock market is how rich people scam and steal the poor people money. I saved a ton and fast and I am on track to have a lot of money for retirement and those friends who offered advice and numbers meant a lot to me. When people ask I say well at least about 250K in index funds in 401K and some savings in a personal brokerage plus an emergency fund. I’m hoping to keep maxing out the 401K. Oh and 7k in a Roth because I just learned that was different from 401K. There now the internet knows my financial situation.

This is a nice story. It's kind of like when people ask you if you lost weight or how... answer will be different if it's a person you think is asking because they need advice for themselves, rather than being nosy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to be petty just say something like “I’m not sure to be honest, we’ve got a team that handles that.”

Hah!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to be petty just say something like “I’m not sure to be honest, we’ve got a team that handles that.”

Hah!

Yeah, I’m stealing this.

[Anonymous]

No one has ever asked me! Let them guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin asked how much I had for retirement and I quipped, “More than you’d think.”

She looked shocked at the quick reply.

The background is her husband is an orthopedic surgeon and I don’t think they have saved much beyond pensions and IRAs.

I’m widowed and my husband was a Navy officer. We lived within our means. And amassed good assets.

Why do you think she wanted to know? What purpose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin asked how much I had for retirement and I quipped, “More than you’d think.”

She looked shocked at the quick reply.

The background is her husband is an orthopedic surgeon and I don’t think they have saved much beyond pensions and IRAs.

I’m widowed and my husband was a Navy officer. We lived within our means. And amassed good assets.

Why do you think she wanted to know? What purpose?

Oh, yes, she wanted to know. She’s always been competitive with me. Any topic. I really don’t care to compete and enjoy watching her try to figure things out. She knows that we *saved* over the years while they seemed to spend every penny that came in. FWIW, years ago, their home office was also the guest bedroom. Lots of unpaid bills on the desk. (I looked but didn’t touch). They were behind on utility bills. A year ago, I was present when their daughter asked for the deposit check for her wedding. (Venue starts at $90k, so $15k for the deposit). Her father (cousin’s spouse) said he couldn’t come up with the deposit without taking it out of his 401K.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine anyone ever asking me this.

OP - who is asking you?

[Anonymous]

My cousin asked how much my parents left me after my dad died. At the funeral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin asked how much I had for retirement and I quipped, “More than you’d think.”

She looked shocked at the quick reply.

The background is her husband is an orthopedic surgeon and I don’t think they have saved much beyond pensions and IRAs.

I’m widowed and my husband was a Navy officer. We lived within our means. And amassed good assets.

Why do you think she wanted to know? What purpose?

Oh, yes, she wanted to know. She’s always been competitive with me. Any topic. I really don’t care to compete and enjoy watching her try to figure things out. She knows that we *saved* over the years while they seemed to spend every penny that came in. FWIW, years ago, their home office was also the guest bedroom. Lots of unpaid bills on the desk. (I looked but didn’t touch). They were behind on utility bills. A year ago, I was present when their daughter asked for the deposit check for her wedding. (Venue starts at $90k, so $15k for the deposit). Her father (cousin’s spouse) said he couldn’t come up with the deposit without taking it out of his 401K.

You sound just as gossipy and nosy.

People saying this doesn't happen should count themselves lucky to not have come across the type to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin asked how much I had for retirement and I quipped, “More than you’d think.”

She looked shocked at the quick reply.

The background is her husband is an orthopedic surgeon and I don’t think they have saved much beyond pensions and IRAs.

I’m widowed and my husband was a Navy officer. We lived within our means. And amassed good assets.

Why do you think she wanted to know? What purpose?

Oh, yes, she wanted to know. She’s always been competitive with me. Any topic. I really don’t care to compete and enjoy watching her try to figure things out. She knows that we *saved* over the years while they seemed to spend every penny that came in. FWIW, years ago, their home office was also the guest bedroom. Lots of unpaid bills on the desk. (I looked but didn’t touch). They were behind on utility bills. A year ago, I was present when their daughter asked for the deposit check for her wedding. (Venue starts at $90k, so $15k for the deposit). Her father (cousin’s spouse) said he couldn’t come up with the deposit without taking it out of his 401K.

You sound just as gossipy and nosy.

People saying this doesn't happen should count themselves lucky to not have come across the type to ask.

Religion, politics, and finances are traditionally off-limits topics outside of very close friends and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin asked how much my parents left me after my dad died. At the funeral.

The day after my 37 year old old husband's memorial, my BIL wanted to know if there was a "nice, juicy life insurance policy to look forward to".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin asked how much my parents left me after my dad died. At the funeral.

The day after my 37 year old old husband's memorial, my BIL wanted to know if there was a "nice, juicy life insurance policy to look forward to".

That is unforgivable. What an idiot.I