Should I quit before I get fired?

[Anonymous]

I am in a similar situation. They said 3 months ago I am being terminated at some point this year but are telling clients I am retiring. I am going to let them fire me because after being at the same place for 20 years and being 55 years old, it sounds strange saying in an interview "I am looking for a change". I do wonder if the client's found out the truth, how that would affect my employer's reputation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in a similar situation. They said 3 months ago I am being terminated at some point this year but are telling clients I am retiring. I am going to let them fire me because after being at the same place for 20 years and being 55 years old, it sounds strange saying in an interview "I am looking for a change". I do wonder if the client's found out the truth, how that would affect my employer's reputation.

Really? I’m 50 and 15 years and I talk about that often. Had several interviews and a few offers but money wasn’t worth it to leave.

I mean talk about the arc at your company and how it’s a natural stopping point because X is no longer interesting.

Of if you are a woman you can probably get away with mentioning kids have all left the nest and you have more time to invest in yourself (though in general I avoid mentioning kids)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would quit right before they fire. I’m a fed and you get a 30 day notice. In which case you’d quit on day 29

No, if you quit, you don't get unemployment. [/quote
Do you get it if fired for cause?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - it feels like going into a war zone every day. I think my boss is trying to break me and it’s working. I can’t avoid the spotlight and it’s so brutal. And really don’t want to be fired / I would rather own the decision. And say to my boss - you should have who you need. I just hate the idea of it being someone else’s decision

Are you working in a coal mine and put in dangerous unsafe conditions? Working without high voltage without the power off? A roofer working without needed safety harness?

I think perspective on war zone. People yelling at you is something you can deflect especially when you have no reason to respect them at all.

[Anonymous]

Just don’t go in for a few days. Job abandonment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in a similar situation. They said 3 months ago I am being terminated at some point this year but are telling clients I am retiring. I am going to let them fire me because after being at the same place for 20 years and being 55 years old, it sounds strange saying in an interview "I am looking for a change". I do wonder if the client's found out the truth, how that would affect my employer's reputation.

I think they are taking a risk lying to clients. It sounds odd to give you advance notice of a firing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - it feels like going into a war zone every day. I think my boss is trying to break me and it’s working. I can’t avoid the spotlight and it’s so brutal. And really don’t want to be fired / I would rather own the decision. And say to my boss - you should have who you need. I just hate the idea of it being someone else’s decision

Accepting that is part of growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - it feels like going into a war zone every day. I think my boss is trying to break me and it’s working. I can’t avoid the spotlight and it’s so brutal. And really don’t want to be fired / I would rather own the decision. And say to my boss - you should have who you need. I just hate the idea of it being someone else’s decision

Are you working in a coal mine and put in dangerous unsafe conditions? Working without high voltage without the power off? A roofer working without needed safety harness?

I think perspective on war zone. People yelling at you is something you can deflect especially when you have no reason to respect them at all.

Sure, let’s let OP develop PTSD because this person thinks it’s not “war” enough.

If you have never been in a job environment that will mentally break you then you just can’t get it.

OP - crunch your finances - see what you can do. And leave if you can. Document everything is case you have enough evidence to file with EEOC if you choose. Can you look into FMLA? Take some time off to decompress and make a decision clear-headed as best you can.

Your life is not worth someone’s else’s game. Boss is a miserable loser I bet.

Yes, it’s tough in the market. But you won’t be in the best position to pivot to a new employer if you are just trying to survive. It’s going to feel so incredible when you walk out that door finally OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - it feels like going into a war zone every day. I think my boss is trying to break me and it’s working. I can’t avoid the spotlight and it’s so brutal. And really don’t want to be fired / I would rather own the decision. And say to my boss - you should have who you need. I just hate the idea of it being someone else’s decision

Are you working in a coal mine and put in dangerous unsafe conditions? Working without high voltage without the power off? A roofer working without needed safety harness?

I think perspective on war zone. People yelling at you is something you can deflect especially when you have no reason to respect them at all.

Sure, let’s let OP develop PTSD because this person thinks it’s not “war” enough.

If you have never been in a job environment that will mentally break you then you just can’t get it.

OP - crunch your finances - see what you can do. And leave if you can. Document everything is case you have enough evidence to file with EEOC if you choose. Can you look into FMLA? Take some time off to decompress and make a decision clear-headed as best you can.

Your life is not worth someone’s else’s game. Boss is a miserable loser I bet.

Yes, it’s tough in the market. But you won’t be in the best position to pivot to a new employer if you are just trying to survive. It’s going to feel so incredible when you walk out that door finally OP.

If OP doesn’t need to work for several years or is fine retiring, sure have that attitude. But if they are older than 45 the market is brutal, and being destitute can cause PTSD as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - it feels like going into a war zone every day. I think my boss is trying to break me and it’s working. I can’t avoid the spotlight and it’s so brutal. And really don’t want to be fired / I would rather own the decision. And say to my boss - you should have who you need. I just hate the idea of it being someone else’s decision

Are you working in a coal mine and put in dangerous unsafe conditions? Working without high voltage without the power off? A roofer working without needed safety harness?

I think perspective on war zone. People yelling at you is something you can deflect especially when you have no reason to respect them at all.

Sure, let’s let OP develop PTSD because this person thinks it’s not “war” enough.

If you have never been in a job environment that will mentally break you then you just can’t get it.

OP - crunch your finances - see what you can do. And leave if you can. Document everything is case you have enough evidence to file with EEOC if you choose. Can you look into FMLA? Take some time off to decompress and make a decision clear-headed as best you can.

Your life is not worth someone’s else’s game. Boss is a miserable loser I bet.

Yes, it’s tough in the market. But you won’t be in the best position to pivot to a new employer if you are just trying to survive. It’s going to feel so incredible when you walk out that door finally OP.

If OP doesn’t need to work for several years or is fine retiring, sure have that attitude. But if they are older than 45 the market is brutal, and being destitute can cause PTSD as well.

It can be done. No job is worth your life.
They don’t own us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - it feels like going into a war zone every day. I think my boss is trying to break me and it’s working. I can’t avoid the spotlight and it’s so brutal. And really don’t want to be fired / I would rather own the decision. And say to my boss - you should have who you need. I just hate the idea of it being someone else’s decision

Are you working in a coal mine and put in dangerous unsafe conditions? Working without high voltage without the power off? A roofer working without needed safety harness?

I think perspective on war zone. People yelling at you is something you can deflect especially when you have no reason to respect them at all.

Sure, let’s let OP develop PTSD because this person thinks it’s not “war” enough.

If you have never been in a job environment that will mentally break you then you just can’t get it.

OP - crunch your finances - see what you can do. And leave if you can. Document everything is case you have enough evidence to file with EEOC if you choose. Can you look into FMLA? Take some time off to decompress and make a decision clear-headed as best you can.

Your life is not worth someone’s else’s game. Boss is a miserable loser I bet.

Yes, it’s tough in the market. But you won’t be in the best position to pivot to a new employer if you are just trying to survive. It’s going to feel so incredible when you walk out that door finally OP.

If OP doesn’t need to work for several years or is fine retiring, sure have that attitude. But if they are older than 45 the market is brutal, and being destitute can cause PTSD as well.

It can be done. No job is worth your life.
They don’t own us.

I’m guessing you didn’t grow up poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - it feels like going into a war zone every day. I think my boss is trying to break me and it’s working. I can’t avoid the spotlight and it’s so brutal. And really don’t want to be fired / I would rather own the decision. And say to my boss - you should have who you need. I just hate the idea of it being someone else’s decision

Are you working in a coal mine and put in dangerous unsafe conditions? Working without high voltage without the power off? A roofer working without needed safety harness?

I think perspective on war zone. People yelling at you is something you can deflect especially when you have no reason to respect them at all.

Sure, let’s let OP develop PTSD because this person thinks it’s not “war” enough.

If you have never been in a job environment that will mentally break you then you just can’t get it.

OP - crunch your finances - see what you can do. And leave if you can. Document everything is case you have enough evidence to file with EEOC if you choose. Can you look into FMLA? Take some time off to decompress and make a decision clear-headed as best you can.

Your life is not worth someone’s else’s game. Boss is a miserable loser I bet.

Yes, it’s tough in the market. But you won’t be in the best position to pivot to a new employer if you are just trying to survive. It’s going to feel so incredible when you walk out that door finally OP.

If OP doesn’t need to work for several years or is fine retiring, sure have that attitude. But if they are older than 45 the market is brutal, and being destitute can cause PTSD as well.

It can be done. No job is worth your life.
They don’t own us.

I’m guessing you didn’t grow up poor.

I’m poor now. It can be done.

It’s not worth it. It’s just a job. I took a huge hit to my salary to go back to school to leave a toxic industry (education). A job is never worth your life. They don’t own you.

[Anonymous]

I am part of a recent group of layoffs. We are all over 55 with no documented performance issues and are told it’s restructuring. The company is running ads for all of our jobs. I know it’s legal but it’s hurtful after most of us have 20+ years with them and will have difficulty finding new jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am part of a recent group of layoffs. We are all over 55 with no documented performance issues and are told it’s restructuring. The company is running ads for all of our jobs. I know it’s legal but it’s hurtful after most of us have 20+ years with them and will have difficulty finding new jobs.

I would stay on and get terminated and try to negotiate a generous severance. There are special rules employers must follow when terminating employees over age 40.

[Anonymous]

OP how old are you? Family?