Steer DC to a major with better employment outlook?

[Anonymous]

If you don’t mind answering, what kind of work do you and your spouse do and does it align with the interests you had as a teenager?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With these kinds of assets she can live comfortably with whatever salary she earns after graduating from a top college. If I was in you position, I'd prioritize letting her pursue her interests and living a happy life.

But it’s not like she will have $9M at graduation. It could be 20+ years before she sees inheritance from grandparents IF they leave her anything. We can help her financially at the beginning but probably limited since we have to cover our retirement. She would eventually see a sizable inheritance but she might be in her 40’s or 50’s when we pass away…

I think what they are saying (correct me if I am wrong) is that unlike most people who need to make enough to live on PLUS save money for later in life, if she makes enough to live on, she should be fine, as she likely doesn't really need to save anything. So the bar is a lot lower. If she wants to teach or something similar, that should probably be OK.

I hate to be morbid but I'm assuming money from the grandparents will be coming sooner rather than later so might be known before she has to make this decision. Hopefully this will not be the case and they will live healthy lives for many years but I'm assuming they are at least pretty far into their 70s.

OP here. That’s an interesting perspective that I’ve never thought of. We’ve always worked hard and saved diligently and never assumed automatically that our parents would help us out although they have been pretty generous. They could always decide to gift their assets to charities and we would totally be fine with it, so I never included that consideration in our financial planning.

NE culture is different. Many get ahead due to their family support (down-payment for a house, finding their first job, capital to start a business, etc...). I have always planned to prioritize their financial independence over earning a paycheck for a living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t mind answering, what kind of work do you and your spouse do and does it align with the interests you had as a teenager?

Well, we majored in pretty unemployable fields. Our parents paid for college so we didn’t have student loan but still struggled financially for a while after college. Eventually we moved into professional jobs (not finance) and did well in our industries but worrying about rent money in the early years was a pretty painful experience. Growing up my parents never talked about money in front of us so I was not prepared for that.

This is also part of the reason that I wonder if we should approach this topic with DC early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is finishing up 10th grade so we’ve started talking about college. She is at a TT and getting good grades so should be able to get into a decent college. The majors that she is interested in include art history, fine arts, public policy etc. basically the kind that does not necessarily lead to good job prospects.

She is our only child. We are comfortable financially. Net worth around 9M at this point including primary residence. Her grandparents have assets higher than ours. If they leave us any inheritance we will give that to DC directly but we really don’t want to assume anything.

As you can see we are comfortable financially but not exactly at a level where she doesn’t need to earn her own living. Some of her friends at the TT school are from families with money so they really don’t need to consider money when thinking about college majors. Should we make it clear that she needs to earn her living therefore needs to pick a more practical major? Weird question I know but that’s where we are at.

I believe you are wrong about the job prospects. There is tons of money in the art world and lots of ways to do well with an art history degree. And public policy can lead to lots of things. And yet you want to steer your kid away from authentic interests? Please don’t be that parent!

[Anonymous]

You will be able to leave her a pretty sizeable nest egg.

Of course you should talk to her about money, having to support herself, and different kinds of careers in various fields. But I wouldn’t try to steer her so much as maybe encourage her to develop additional interests. And you can talk to her about double-majoring in something like fine arts and business or public policy and economics or whatever.

She may not be able to afford to live in NYC as a working adult but she may not want to. Public policy is not a thing unto itself: what area/topics of public policy is she interested in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With these kinds of assets she can live comfortably with whatever salary she earns after graduating from a top college. If I was in you position, I'd prioritize letting her pursue her interests and living a happy life.

But it’s not like she will have $9M at graduation. It could be 20+ years before she sees inheritance from grandparents IF they leave her anything. We can help her financially at the beginning but probably limited since we have to cover our retirement. She would eventually see a sizable inheritance but she might be in her 40’s or 50’s when we pass away…

I am somewhat in this situation. I figured out how to make my own money but I live a less expensive life than my parents and grandparents. My older son is a sophomore in college and he always tells me how grateful he is that we are paying for his college and not telling him what to major in. Just like my parents never told me what to major in or to marry rich. My husband's parents didn't interfere with his choice of a (not lucrative) humanities major either. He had to change career paths after college but eventually found his footing.

At some point, the greatest gift that wealth allows parents is to support their children having happy and healthy lives. I believe it can go very wrong to push kids into career paths and rat races that they have no organic interest in. You can explain the consequences of various occupational choices but I think it's ridiculous to force a kid to pick something high-earning when it sounds like there's zero risk of financial problems in her future. Large houses and expensive lifestyles aren't what make people happy. Look at all the research. What actually makes people happy is doing better than their comparison set. So you can reframe that for your daughter by making conscious choices now.

OP. Did your husband change into a more lucrative industry eventually? Was he happy with where he landed and was he happy with having to switch?

I had the same experience but wonder if majoring in a more employable field with a minor in humanities would have been an easier choice.

[Anonymous]

OP. Thanks to all the suggestions. It sounds like I need to talk to her about money at least. To be honest I don’t know how. May need to find a book or podcast about this. We taught her to be mindful with spending, buy quality and don’t waste. That’s pretty much it. Money is a topic that our families don’t touch. The implicit assumption when we grew up was that if you go to college, work hard and are responsible things will take care of themselves. Fortunately our siblings and we are all comfortable so perhaps the grandparents were right lol.

[Anonymous]

In a similar boat, although with 2 kids, slightly higher net worth. probably 6-10mm coming from grandparents eventually.

we discussed this over the weekend exactly. We would rather our kids be happy. One likes money but isn't ambitious enough. the other is quite smart and driven but doesn't care about $$.

here is how we came out - use the "grandparents $$" to essentially fund an annuity for 40 years, providing them with $100k a year (growing 2-3% a year).

this will allow them to live comfortably and choose a job/career that they enjoy. they could be teachers for example but live relatively well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Finishing up 10th grade" means you need to forget about this for at least 2 and probably 3-4 years.

Yes she doesn’t need to declare a major until she is in college. But it is a consideration when it comes to prioritize EC activities summer programs etc.

Even if this is an issue in college, and even if you had no money, the specific high school ECs and summer programs have little to nothing to do with majors. Let her do what she enjoys and will help her grow, whether that's taking art classes, working at McDonalds or as a camp counselor, or interning at a bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With these kinds of assets she can live comfortably with whatever salary she earns after graduating from a top college. If I was in you position, I'd prioritize letting her pursue her interests and living a happy life.

But it’s not like she will have $9M at graduation. It could be 20+ years before she sees inheritance from grandparents IF they leave her anything. We can help her financially at the beginning but probably limited since we have to cover our retirement. She would eventually see a sizable inheritance but she might be in her 40’s or 50’s when we pass away…

I would question the judgement of sending your dc to TT school and having them pick up their peer group habits. There is a chance your dc will resent you when everyone receives money around them.

It is hard to believe that you can have 9m in assets and not be able to provide more than "limited" help to your child in 6 or 7 years. There are lots of reasons to make sure your kids can take care of themselves financially without you. The family currently having 9 million in assets is not one of them.

[Anonymous]

With $9 million you can set things up to make your child’s life much easier and take financial ruin off the table. We have much much less, but our 20 year old just inherited $100,000 and he’ll invest it aggressively for retirement. Thats a huge jump on retirement savings, and basically ensures he won’t be destitute in retirement.

We expect a couple million dollar inheritance. If that happens we’ll buy our kid a house. We’ve already paid for his education. If he has kids we’ll seed their college funds at birth.

With all of those things our kid can have any career he wants, as long as it comes with health insurance and pays the daily bills.

We never lived that free from financial worry, and probably won’t until we hit retirement age as the wealthy grandparents are happily living into very old age, but are not into passing down wealth while they are still alive.

[Anonymous]

Oh c'mon OP. You're being ridiculous.

We have four kids, now well into adulthood, and about the same net worth as you. We paid for college, grad school, down payments for houses and weddings and nice family vacations. This landed our kids on third base. They're teachers, social workers, immigration workers, public health workers, etc. Three are married to partners in similar jobs. And they're all fine. Better than fine. And very happy.

Use what you have to make your kids happy. Not miserable in jobs they don't want. And with one kid you can easily afford it..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh c'mon OP. You're being ridiculous.

We have four kids, now well into adulthood, and about the same net worth as you. We paid for college, grad school, down payments for houses and weddings and nice family vacations. This landed our kids on third base. They're teachers, social workers, immigration workers, public health workers, etc. Three are married to partners in similar jobs. And they're all fine. Better than fine. And very happy.

Use what you have to make your kids happy. Not miserable in jobs they don't want. And with one kid you can easily afford it..

this is the way to do it. no debt, and you can fund lots of their lifestyle if you want. 4 kids, get each one a new car every 4 years - pay for family vacations - cover the random incidentals that wreck young households finances (leaking roof, medical bill, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh c'mon OP. You're being ridiculous.

We have four kids, now well into adulthood, and about the same net worth as you. We paid for college, grad school, down payments for houses and weddings and nice family vacations. This landed our kids on third base. They're teachers, social workers, immigration workers, public health workers, etc. Three are married to partners in similar jobs. And they're all fine. Better than fine. And very happy.

Use what you have to make your kids happy. Not miserable in jobs they don't want. And with one kid you can easily afford it..

this is the way to do it. no debt, and you can fund lots of their lifestyle if you want. 4 kids, get each one a new car every 4 years - pay for family vacations - cover the random incidentals that wreck young households finances (leaking roof, medical bill, etc).

PP here. I mean, seriously, it's a no brainer. Another example of how we handle: one of our grandkids just got into a ridiculously expensive (7k for 2 weeks) summer program at a fancy college. Personally we think it's ridiculous--obviously just a money maker for the school--but what the hell, when we learned about it we told the parents we wanted to pay for it. They pushed back, hard, and we just said "just let us do it and throw what you were gonna spend into the college fund." They were very grateful and definitely did not see it coming.

Easy peasy, OP. This is the way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With these kinds of assets she can live comfortably with whatever salary she earns after graduating from a top college. If I was in you position, I'd prioritize letting her pursue her interests and living a happy life.

You think with Republicans in power there will be any jobs in art history lol

OP is guide her to those as minors and possibly public policy major