Current 8th grader doesn't have a cell phone yet. Is it really necessary for kids to have a cell phone in high school?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The high school coaches my kids have been involved with communicate through apps and texts. And they don’t want parent involvement. I don’t know what they’d do with a kid who didn’t have a phone.

And curious how your kids make plans with friends if they don’t have a phone in high school.

Huge red flag for the coaches to cut parents out of comms. That's like the pedo playbook 101

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The high school coaches my kids have been involved with communicate through apps and texts. And they don’t want parent involvement. I don’t know what they’d do with a kid who didn’t have a phone.

And curious how your kids make plans with friends if they don’t have a phone in high school.

Yeah, that is not appropriate. I don't care if an adult reaches out to my kid but I need to be on the communication. It is a basic safety feature. I won't reply, my kid is the one who needs to be communicating but he should not be communicating with an adult solo. That is a huge red flag.

[Anonymous]

Do you folks have high school kids?

Adults will communicate with your kids without you being involved. You think for 15-18 year olds they copy mommy on all the messages to the group?

[Anonymous]

kids don't "need" a phone until they are in high school activities where you will need to coordinate pick-up times, and even at that point they don't NEED them.

to me that is a reasonable time to get them. if no activities, then driving age would work for me.

[Anonymous]

We waited until high school. All my kids friends got phones then (if they hadn’t before) except one kid who is only allowed a phone when he starts driving. I feel bad for this kid because he often misses out on things because the kids arrange everything themselves via text/group chats. Sometimes his parents reach out to me to arrange the kids hanging out and it feels extremely weird now to do that. My kid isn’t allowed social media (and hasn’t asked for it) and the phone has been very useful for him as he travels around the city by bus/metro, and I’m happy he has it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The high school coaches my kids have been involved with communicate through apps and texts. And they don’t want parent involvement. I don’t know what they’d do with a kid who didn’t have a phone.

And curious how your kids make plans with friends if they don’t have a phone in high school.

Yeah, that is not appropriate. I don't care if an adult reaches out to my kid but I need to be on the communication. It is a basic safety feature. I won't reply, my kid is the one who needs to be communicating but he should not be communicating with an adult solo. That is a huge red flag.

By high school your kid will be on things like remind, team snap, canvas, etc. All sorts of adults (coaches, teachers. EC leaders) will message them on these platforms and you will have nothing to do with it, which is normal and developmentally appropriate. They will not be texting your kids personal cell number but your kid would likely need some way to see and respond to all these messages in the various parts of their life much like you might need to see messages for your life. They will be treated like independent human beings in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The high school coaches my kids have been involved with communicate through apps and texts. And they don’t want parent involvement. I don’t know what they’d do with a kid who didn’t have a phone.

And curious how your kids make plans with friends if they don’t have a phone in high school.

Yeah, that is not appropriate. I don't care if an adult reaches out to my kid but I need to be on the communication. It is a basic safety feature. I won't reply, my kid is the one who needs to be communicating but he should not be communicating with an adult solo. That is a huge red flag.

By high school your kid will be on things like remind, team snap, canvas, etc. All sorts of adults (coaches, teachers. EC leaders) will message them on these platforms and you will have nothing to do with it, which is normal and developmentally appropriate. They will not be texting your kids personal cell number but your kid would likely need some way to see and respond to all these messages in the various parts of their life much like you might need to see messages for your life. They will be treated like independent human beings in high school.

None of this is appropriate. They aren’t independent. They are in high school. Stop trying to make them into mini adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I plan on getting my kid a dumb phone once they can drive.

No need beforehand. Being a social outcast builds characrter.

I'm a long way away from this, but we've signed a pledge not to give our kindergartener a phone or social media access the entire time she's at her Catholic K-8.

When we get to high school the most I would do would be a dumbphone or whatever equivalent to a LightPhone exists at that time. Apparently it includes a camera, driving directions, texting, and voice, which is all that my kids need. Full-functionality smartphones are a huge distraction and will only drag down my child's grades.

I think you are in a unique position, in that your child's peers will be (presumably) following the same rules. My 7th grader does not have a phone, in a big public MS, and it's a significant social challenge. His friends are making plans on text chains, or setting up group projects, and counting on a bunch of 13 year-olds to remember that the need to text Larlo's mom because he does not have a phone is not a reliable strategy.

If you managed to hold strong into MS, it will be at least partially because every other kid will have signed the same pledge, which is a very different situation than kids who are not in private schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The high school coaches my kids have been involved with communicate through apps and texts. And they don’t want parent involvement. I don’t know what they’d do with a kid who didn’t have a phone.

And curious how your kids make plans with friends if they don’t have a phone in high school.

Yeah, that is not appropriate. I don't care if an adult reaches out to my kid but I need to be on the communication. It is a basic safety feature. I won't reply, my kid is the one who needs to be communicating but he should not be communicating with an adult solo. That is a huge red flag.

By high school your kid will be on things like remind, team snap, canvas, etc. All sorts of adults (coaches, teachers. EC leaders) will message them on these platforms and you will have nothing to do with it, which is normal and developmentally appropriate. They will not be texting your kids personal cell number but your kid would likely need some way to see and respond to all these messages in the various parts of their life much like you might need to see messages for your life. They will be treated like independent human beings in high school.

None of this is appropriate. They aren’t independent. They are in high school. Stop trying to make them into mini adults.

Again do you have a child in high school?

Do you think teachers will copy you on messages to your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The high school coaches my kids have been involved with communicate through apps and texts. And they don’t want parent involvement. I don’t know what they’d do with a kid who didn’t have a phone.

And curious how your kids make plans with friends if they don’t have a phone in high school.

Yeah, that is not appropriate. I don't care if an adult reaches out to my kid but I need to be on the communication. It is a basic safety feature. I won't reply, my kid is the one who needs to be communicating but he should not be communicating with an adult solo. That is a huge red flag.

By high school your kid will be on things like remind, team snap, canvas, etc. All sorts of adults (coaches, teachers. EC leaders) will message them on these platforms and you will have nothing to do with it, which is normal and developmentally appropriate. They will not be texting your kids personal cell number but your kid would likely need some way to see and respond to all these messages in the various parts of their life much like you might need to see messages for your life. They will be treated like independent human beings in high school.

None of this is appropriate. They aren’t independent. They are in high school. Stop trying to make them into mini adults.

Lady some of them are adults in high school!!! Most of them are turning 18 senior year!!

No wonder these young adults cannot function. Unreal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The high school coaches my kids have been involved with communicate through apps and texts. And they don’t want parent involvement. I don’t know what they’d do with a kid who didn’t have a phone.

And curious how your kids make plans with friends if they don’t have a phone in high school.

Yeah, that is not appropriate. I don't care if an adult reaches out to my kid but I need to be on the communication. It is a basic safety feature. I won't reply, my kid is the one who needs to be communicating but he should not be communicating with an adult solo. That is a huge red flag.

By high school your kid will be on things like remind, team snap, canvas, etc. All sorts of adults (coaches, teachers. EC leaders) will message them on these platforms and you will have nothing to do with it, which is normal and developmentally appropriate. They will not be texting your kids personal cell number but your kid would likely need some way to see and respond to all these messages in the various parts of their life much like you might need to see messages for your life. They will be treated like independent human beings in high school.

I have my kids logins and check. You should too. Unless they work in the mines or shirt factory, they're still children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The high school coaches my kids have been involved with communicate through apps and texts. And they don’t want parent involvement. I don’t know what they’d do with a kid who didn’t have a phone.

And curious how your kids make plans with friends if they don’t have a phone in high school.

Yeah, that is not appropriate. I don't care if an adult reaches out to my kid but I need to be on the communication. It is a basic safety feature. I won't reply, my kid is the one who needs to be communicating but he should not be communicating with an adult solo. That is a huge red flag.

By high school your kid will be on things like remind, team snap, canvas, etc. All sorts of adults (coaches, teachers. EC leaders) will message them on these platforms and you will have nothing to do with it, which is normal and developmentally appropriate. They will not be texting your kids personal cell number but your kid would likely need some way to see and respond to all these messages in the various parts of their life much like you might need to see messages for your life. They will be treated like independent human beings in high school.

I have my kids logins and check. You should too. Unless they work in the mines or shirt factory, they're still children.

An alternative approach is to slowly give your child more and more independence starting in middle school and have open conversations with them about how to handle interactions with adults and red flags. Develop a close relationship with them where they come to you for advice and you coach them through how to handle things on their own.

But also you could just read all their communication until they go to college. That’s another way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The high school coaches my kids have been involved with communicate through apps and texts. And they don’t want parent involvement. I don’t know what they’d do with a kid who didn’t have a phone.

And curious how your kids make plans with friends if they don’t have a phone in high school.

Yeah, that is not appropriate. I don't care if an adult reaches out to my kid but I need to be on the communication. It is a basic safety feature. I won't reply, my kid is the one who needs to be communicating but he should not be communicating with an adult solo. That is a huge red flag.

By high school your kid will be on things like remind, team snap, canvas, etc. All sorts of adults (coaches, teachers. EC leaders) will message them on these platforms and you will have nothing to do with it, which is normal and developmentally appropriate. They will not be texting your kids personal cell number but your kid would likely need some way to see and respond to all these messages in the various parts of their life much like you might need to see messages for your life. They will be treated like independent human beings in high school.

I have my kids logins and check. You should too. Unless they work in the mines or shirt factory, they're still children.

An alternative approach is to slowly give your child more and more independence starting in middle school and have open conversations with them about how to handle interactions with adults and red flags. Develop a close relationship with them where they come to you for advice and you coach them through how to handle things on their own.

But also you could just read all their communication until they go to college. That’s another way.

As long as I’m paying for the phone I get passwords and I get to read what they’re saying and what they’re doing. If they don’t like it they can buy their own cell phone.

[Anonymous]

Get your child a phone for high school… it’s for safety. Also, all info about clubs are on social media. Your kid will miss out on opportunities.