How would you discipline in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Child got in trouble for hitting another kid in school (kindergarten). Nothing malicious but boys rough housing and during recess. Obviously was addressed by the school immediately.

What punishment do you dole out at home? We don't do time outs but will take away privileges but in kindergarten its not like he has a ton of "things" to take away (ie no phone, tablet, etc). The thing this kid likes the most is food. He loves to eat. And doesn't stop when he is home.

Obviously we can't take away food as a punishment. Do we limit his food? Only let him eat fruits and vegetables? Is this even a punishment option?

da fook?

[Anonymous]

He's 5. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Child got in trouble for hitting another kid in school (kindergarten). Nothing malicious but boys rough housing and during recess. Obviously was addressed by the school immediately.

What punishment do you dole out at home? We don't do time outs but will take away privileges but in kindergarten its not like he has a ton of "things" to take away (ie no phone, tablet, etc). The thing this kid likes the most is food. He loves to eat. And doesn't stop when he is home.

Obviously we can't take away food as a punishment. Do we limit his food? Only let him eat fruits and vegetables? Is this even a punishment option?

I would tell him not to hit or fight and that would be the end of it. Maybe he hit the other kid because the other kid hit him first. Who was monitoring recess?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Child got in trouble for hitting another kid in school (kindergarten). Nothing malicious but boys rough housing and during recess. Obviously was addressed by the school immediately.

What punishment do you dole out at home? We don't do time outs but will take away privileges but in kindergarten its not like he has a ton of "things" to take away (ie no phone, tablet, etc). The thing this kid likes the most is food. He loves to eat. And doesn't stop when he is home.

Obviously we can't take away food as a punishment. Do we limit his food? Only let him eat fruits and vegetables? Is this even a punishment option?

He is five and already punished at school

[Anonymous]

Tonight's bedtime story

https://www.amazon.com/Hands-Hitting-Board-Book-Behavior/dp/157542200X

This would be the punishment + a small discussion to confirm both understanding and also to try and figure out what he was feeling at the time. I'd end it with talking about making good choices, telling him you love him, and a kiss goodnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t punish at home for school stuff if he was already punished there.

We talk about what he should do next time, why that was against our family values, etc etc. But at age five, taking dessert away tonight has no link in his brain to recess today.

agree with not punishing if school already did it. Not for something so typical like hitting, pushing, spitting, whatever,

Now, if he stole something, or maliciously broke an expensive object, there would be at home punishment and a big talking to. But for this? Nope, school punished!

[Anonymous]

I'd talk to him about appropriate contact.

As a parent volunteer, I saw my son's classmate grab him by the shoulders and then jam his knee into my son's stomach. It was a move the boy saw somewhere and thought it fine to do. The boy received time out and was obviously upset by getting in trouble. So I don't think more punishment was necessary.

[Anonymous]

God I feel so bad for this kid. Withholding food as a punishment for a five year old? Are you stupid, op? Do you struggle with daily life?

I cannot believe this is where your mind went.

[Anonymous]

I tend to be pretty strict, but since this was apparently mutually agreed play and not violence/bullying (which I would come down hard on), I don’t think discipline at home is necessary. I would have a serious discussion supporting the school’s rules about roughhousing, as well as talking more generally about where and when it is and isn’t acceptable.

However, there will be times when you will need to discipline your child and you need to consider your options. Here are a few possibilities that might give you some ideas:

Take away something positive:
dessert/treat
allowance
favorite toy
fun activity (game time, outing, playground time, playdate, etc.)
etc.

Add something negative:
Apologize
Write lines
Write/explain verbally/draw picture about why shat he did was wrong and/or how he’ll do better in the future
Do chores
Earlier bedtime
etc.

While I agree with posters that withholding food isn’t a good idea, if a child throws a fuss and refuses to eat, I have no problem in accepting their choice, putting their food in the dinner, and saving it for when they decide they’re ready to eat it. Assuming something was served that they had been able to eat in the past, I don’t think it’s necessary to play short order cook to accommodate their whims.

I know you said you don’t like to use time-outs, by which I’m assuming you mean the punitive “sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done” type. There is a secondary version you might want to consider: In our house, in addition to using time-outs as negative consequences, we would also employ them as constructive preventative measures. If someone was getting upset and I was afraid they were about to get themselves in trouble, I’d tell them they needed to take a time-out and go into their room for some quiet time alone to give themselves a chance to calm down. I also gave myself time-outs. When I felt my temper was about to snap, I’d make sure my kids were situated safely for a few minutes, and then I’d tell them, “Mommy needs a time-out to calm down a little,” and then I’d go into another room for a few minutes, distract myself (while keeping an ear open for trouble), give my emotions and adrenaline a chance to recover, then go back when I was calmer, more rational, and ready to handle any problems constructively.

[Anonymous]

Surely this is a troll
How can someone be against time out but think starvation is appropriate.

For a first offense you talk about it and have him apologize to the child and teacher.

If this is repeated you might take away a bluey episode or a treat not meals

[Anonymous]

Wow. Your reactions are so out of line, OP.

He's a little kid and did not intend harm. Just reiterate that hitting is not allowed and move on.

Seriously.

[Anonymous]

It's done. It was handled at school. Talk to him about how he should handle things differently next time and then let it go.

[Anonymous]

Geez don’t ever use food as a reward or punishment unless you want a lifetime of disordered eating

[Anonymous]

You are one of those parents who want to punish their kids out of a sense of public shame that they got into trouble with other adults.

It's the WORST reason to discipline a child, OP.

You are going to have to reframe all your parenting values.