Tell me your adult child’s success story if

[Anonymous]

Two of my kids went to non-flagship state schools and 1 to a T10. They are all fine and have jobs they enjoy and make money at. All are fully launched. The only difference I see is in their drives. Two state school grads are super outgoing and people persons - they network and are always looking for what's next. T10 kid lives in their mind and is fairly clueless about how to get ahead.

[Anonymous]

You're kidding, right? You don't know any young adult children who are "successful" (whatever that means in this context) who didn't go to an Ivy?

[Anonymous]

This is the most DCUM thread ever!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you talking about your kid and schools with anyone? Stop talking. It’s personal and private.

“We’re not sure yet. Just keeping options open. They all land in the right place. Do you think it will rain later?”

All of this.
Our two kids literally asked that we NOT share where they applied to college. Same deal in their circles.

No one’s business.

[Anonymous]

You definitely need to stop talking about it but if you do talk about it with your kid, try to focus on folks you know that are successful without that degree. In our house, both me and DH are very successful in our careers and both went to inexpensive state colleges ranked very much lower than Ivys. Even when our kids started chasing prestige a little, we reminded them of ourselves and others who are successful from lots of paths.

And for a more recent example, my oldest graduated a private school that is definitely ranked between 50 and 100 and is doing great. He is on his second job of his career (after being recruited from his first job to an offer that is more money and better) and he is making money and doing what he set out to do. He also lives in NYC, his first choice location. There are a lot of paths and jobs and the Ivy kids are not the only ones to be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You definitely need to stop talking about it but if you do talk about it with your kid, try to focus on folks you know that are successful without that degree. In our house, both me and DH are very successful in our careers and both went to inexpensive state colleges ranked very much lower than Ivys. Even when our kids started chasing prestige a little, we reminded them of ourselves and others who are successful from lots of paths.

And for a more recent example, my oldest graduated a private school that is definitely ranked between 50 and 100 and is doing great. He is on his second job of his career (after being recruited from his first job to an offer that is more money and better) and he is making money and doing what he set out to do. He also lives in NYC, his first choice location. There are a lot of paths and jobs and the Ivy kids are not the only ones to be successful.

Your example isn’t great…your kid still attended a college in the top 2% of all colleges in the country.

[Anonymous]

Small out of state colleges no one would recognize. Had amazing relationships with professors who got to know them well. Oldest got a job at a well-known national company through a professor’s network. My kid out-earns me already. Other kid was a massive big fish in a small pond. Landed an incredible job through a personal connection she made with the college president. Third kid is not done yet but everything tracks for similar success.

[Anonymous]

My husband was a C student in high school. Attended a public flagship university. His sister went to an Ivy League. He is the CEO of a national company, married, children, happy life, and well off. Has done much better than sibling in all areas. She has an interesting life but he has even better connections than her despite not having access to an Ivy network. It just doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please tell me your adult child’s success story if they didn’t go to Ivy or Ivy+ college. In need of perspective from more experienced parents here. I am mom of HS junior and DC’s friends (from school, family , sports etc) who are seniors are all heading to Ivy and Ivy+ colleges. The obsession with prestige is real in this area. All these kids and their parents are so impressed with themselves. My DC is worried they won’t get into this type of school and they will be ‘the loser’ of the bunch despite my efforts to tell them that isn’t how it works. But it is getting to me too and I am becoming more anxious than I want to be. These parents constantly make comments when I mention schools my child hopes to get into with ‘oh that was my DC’s safety school - no one goes there unless they have to’. Sigh.

Why is this your DCs choice? Is this school great for their major? In a city where jobs for the major are abundant? Family lives nearby offering free housing? The financials work?

Either way it’s none of their business. But use DC’s concerns to motivate him to perform better

[Anonymous]

People ruined their own mental health.

[Anonymous]

My DS did not go to an Ivy League college, but it did not stop him from graduating from an Ivy League law school.

[Anonymous]

Approximately 1% of all Americans have ivy league undergraduate degrees. So help your kid get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

I worked at a Big 4 consulting firm for many years. Thinking back, the Senior Managers/Partners when I was a Staff came from schools like UMD, George Mason, UVA (obviously on a different level, but not an ivy), Tech, FSU, UMBC, etc.) I knew one person who went to an ivy in the entire time I was there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you talking about your kid and schools with anyone? Stop talking. It’s personal and private.

“We’re not sure yet. Just keeping options open. They all land in the right place. Do you think it will rain later?”

This is so dumb. Where you are going to school is neither of those things.

I swear people are nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked at a Big 4 consulting firm for many years. Thinking back, the Senior Managers/Partners when I was a Staff came from schools like UMD, George Mason, UVA (obviously on a different level, but not an ivy), Tech, FSU, UMBC, etc.) I knew one person who went to an ivy in the entire time I was there.

You are referring to Deloitte, PWC, Accenture and one other (can’t remember) when you mean Big 4?