Families privately struggling these days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not American and feel that the USA is the most open-minded, by far, when it comes to discussing special needs. I've had heart to hearts with my two close friends, and I've helped out many other parents in SN discussion groups. I don't feel isolated at all, and I don't think American society is isolating such families. In other parts of the world, special needs are a real taboo, and families with a disabled child can be stigmatized in very impactful ways: the marriage prospects of their other children are in jeopardy, for example.

Agree. Not that this is paradise either.

In many European countries, state schooling is only required to be provided for neurotypical students.

The USA rules about government providing an appropriate education for every child are uncommon globally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It feels like a not insignificant number of parents are struggling with kids who have various emotional/behavioral/mental, etc. invisible but disabling challenges these days. My child has friends and classmates who have been pulled out of public school or others who are all in therapy or on medications for various challenges. But no one ever discusses these things or shares their burdens. It’s just something I was thinking about, no real question, I guess…

Agree.

In my field, over time, I have learned of many colleagues' families whose kids are like that. Something environmental must have changed from decades ago, but I have no idea what...

Agree. We are one of those families. For support: you get a hot minute of support when they are little then everyone disappears when “the problem” isn’t instantly solved. It’s not from lack of empathy, I think that today’s world we have short attention spans and focus on superficial stuff. My family cares but can’t see the difference in “crisis” from my kids crippling disability and health conditions and her same age cousin coming in 4th (no trophy, just a ribbon) in the swim meet. (True story)

As for change: something is up with chemicals and hormones in our food, water, environment that’s messing with biology. Early puberty, cancer younger, declining fertility etc. Anecdotally, we had a full genetic workup done on SN DD and came back with a host of (non inherited) gene issues.

Also: public schools are broken and breaking more each year. The model was designed for an assembly line world that no longer exists. Testing focused on arbitrary data — which means things that don’t fit neatly into a multiple choice question arent valued thereby aren’t taught. Most physical school buildings in the us are more than 45 years old. Many haven’t had infrastructure improvements like hvac upgrades. Teaching isn’t a destination field anymore because it doesnt pay and the work/life balance that drew women into it a generation ago is now gone. And kids with SN are hard. And expensive. And don’t fit neatly into a standardized test score - so while yes on paper they are entitled to an education- today’s public schools can’t deliver for many of them…

It’s just broken system on broken system.