Tops for first time school parent

[Anonymous]

We used aftercare until one of our kids was being bullied and the aftercare folks were not being responsive. We then hired a sitter for the afternoons and while she was more expensive, the benefit to our kids was even more than I'd expected. Just getting to come home, have a snack, and decompress, plus getting a start on homework was huge. Their grades and behavior improved a ton -- it wasn't bad before but I didn't realize how much better it could be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We used aftercare until one of our kids was being bullied and the aftercare folks were not being responsive. We then hired a sitter for the afternoons and while she was more expensive, the benefit to our kids was even more than I'd expected. Just getting to come home, have a snack, and decompress, plus getting a start on homework was huge. Their grades and behavior improved a ton -- it wasn't bad before but I didn't realize how much better it could be.

Thank you for sharing. At what age was this? Definitely need to pay attention to aftercare situation.

[Anonymous]

We are not PTA parents, so we just donate a couple thousand per year. It’s a tax write off. People seem to like us because we donate and don’t complain.

I find that the PTA and head room parent volunteers all seem to have VERY strong opinions about things. Our current room parent is the most Type A individual I’ve ever met. They dedicate so much damn time to planning over the top gestures for the teacher and kids.

That’s not us. I’d rather cut a check for $4K and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are not PTA parents, so we just donate a couple thousand per year. It’s a tax write off. People seem to like us because we donate and don’t complain.

I find that the PTA and head room parent volunteers all seem to have VERY strong opinions about things. Our current room parent is the most Type A individual I’ve ever met. They dedicate so much damn time to planning over the top gestures for the teacher and kids.

That’s not us. I’d rather cut a check for $4K and be done with it.

I was totally with you in the first paragraph. If you're "not PTA people" and willing to donate AND not complain, that's great. The worst people are the ones who do nothing but then complain.

But you're pretty disdainful about "the PTA people." If you'd asked me and my husband before we had kids if we'd be "PTA people" we would have said no. But then we realized help was needed and we were competent, levelheaded people who could contribute, so we do. The trope about it being all moms who have too much time on their hands and "strong opinions" needs to rest. I feel like people use that to justify their non-participation. I don't have lots of time on my hands but help is needed, so I help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We used aftercare until one of our kids was being bullied and the aftercare folks were not being responsive. We then hired a sitter for the afternoons and while she was more expensive, the benefit to our kids was even more than I'd expected. Just getting to come home, have a snack, and decompress, plus getting a start on homework was huge. Their grades and behavior improved a ton -- it wasn't bad before but I didn't realize how much better it could be.

Thank you for sharing. At what age was this? Definitely need to pay attention to aftercare situation.

We did aftercare for prek3 and part of prek4 before switching to a sitter. It was just pure chaos, almost no supervision, and extremely overwhelming. The turnover is wild; when he had a teacher he connected with it was great, but that would only last a few weeks. And to be fair, the hours and pay are pretty bad, so I get it, but it’s definitely but a lot better not doing aftercare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We used aftercare until one of our kids was being bullied and the aftercare folks were not being responsive. We then hired a sitter for the afternoons and while she was more expensive, the benefit to our kids was even more than I'd expected. Just getting to come home, have a snack, and decompress, plus getting a start on homework was huge. Their grades and behavior improved a ton -- it wasn't bad before but I didn't realize how much better it could be.

Thank you for sharing. At what age was this? Definitely need to pay attention to aftercare situation.

It was first or second grade. Our older DS made it longer into aftercare because the specific bullying situation only happened to my youngest. But in hindsight it would have been better if we'd taken them both out earlier. The quality of the staff they get at the aftercare programs we have seen is just not very good. Think about it -- they have to hire people who are willing to work for very little money for only a few hours a day but who also can pass a background screening to work with kids. It's not a big pool of great talent. If the program offers enrichment classes of some sort (chess, soccer, piano, languages, piano, etc), I think that's the better way to go because it's more structured, as long as you don't have to pay for the aftercare on top of it, which makes it less of a good deal.

Another thing we've seen is that kids age out of aftercare before the end of elementary. Partly because of activities that occur outside of school in the afternoon/evenings. Perhaps also because they don't want to go and they can make their way home from school. But I'm not sure there are any fifth graders in aftercare at my kids' school. If so, it's the parents who truly have no other options or are simply not paying attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not PTA parents, so we just donate a couple thousand per year. It’s a tax write off. People seem to like us because we donate and don’t complain.

I find that the PTA and head room parent volunteers all seem to have VERY strong opinions about things. Our current room parent is the most Type A individual I’ve ever met. They dedicate so much damn time to planning over the top gestures for the teacher and kids.

That’s not us. I’d rather cut a check for $4K and be done with it.

I was totally with you in the first paragraph. If you're "not PTA people" and willing to donate AND not complain, that's great. The worst people are the ones who do nothing but then complain.

But you're pretty disdainful about "the PTA people." If you'd asked me and my husband before we had kids if we'd be "PTA people" we would have said no. But then we realized help was needed and we were competent, levelheaded people who could contribute, so we do. The trope about it being all moms who have too much time on their hands and "strong opinions" needs to rest. I feel like people use that to justify their non-participation. I don't have lots of time on my hands but help is needed, so I help.

+1. The room parents and PTA at our school are working moms, no SAH. They are just organized people who multitask well and the get it done type. The PTA does things to benefit the whole school while the room parent to benefit the teacher and kids in the class.

BTW, at least the teachers at our school, they are very appreciative of the things we do. Anything we can do to help make their job a little easier and to show appreciation goes a long way to helping teacher retention and satisfaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not PTA parents, so we just donate a couple thousand per year. It’s a tax write off. People seem to like us because we donate and don’t complain.

I find that the PTA and head room parent volunteers all seem to have VERY strong opinions about things. Our current room parent is the most Type A individual I’ve ever met. They dedicate so much damn time to planning over the top gestures for the teacher and kids.

That’s not us. I’d rather cut a check for $4K and be done with it.

I was totally with you in the first paragraph. If you're "not PTA people" and willing to donate AND not complain, that's great. The worst people are the ones who do nothing but then complain.

But you're pretty disdainful about "the PTA people." If you'd asked me and my husband before we had kids if we'd be "PTA people" we would have said no. But then we realized help was needed and we were competent, levelheaded people who could contribute, so we do. The trope about it being all moms who have too much time on their hands and "strong opinions" needs to rest. I feel like people use that to justify their non-participation. I don't have lots of time on my hands but help is needed, so I help.

+1. The room parents and PTA at our school are working moms, no SAH. They are just organized people who multitask well and the get it done type. The PTA does things to benefit the whole school while the room parent to benefit the teacher and kids in the class.

BTW, at least the teachers at our school, they are very appreciative of the things we do. Anything we can do to help make their job a little easier and to show appreciation goes a long way to helping teacher retention and satisfaction.

+1

I know many one SAHP at my kid’s school thst does PTA or room parent. Everyone volunteers their time while working full time. To echo PPs above, don’t complain about things you aren’t willing to volunteer for and don’t feel pressure to attend or donate to every outreach from the PTA. But also realize they are trying to improve your child’s school and often times give to support to teachers. Especially if the school is Title 1. Our PTA does canned food drives, winter clothing drives, etc. to support students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not PTA parents, so we just donate a couple thousand per year. It’s a tax write off. People seem to like us because we donate and don’t complain.

I find that the PTA and head room parent volunteers all seem to have VERY strong opinions about things. Our current room parent is the most Type A individual I’ve ever met. They dedicate so much damn time to planning over the top gestures for the teacher and kids.

That’s not us. I’d rather cut a check for $4K and be done with it.

I was totally with you in the first paragraph. If you're "not PTA people" and willing to donate AND not complain, that's great. The worst people are the ones who do nothing but then complain.

But you're pretty disdainful about "the PTA people." If you'd asked me and my husband before we had kids if we'd be "PTA people" we would have said no. But then we realized help was needed and we were competent, levelheaded people who could contribute, so we do. The trope about it being all moms who have too much time on their hands and "strong opinions" needs to rest. I feel like people use that to justify their non-participation. I don't have lots of time on my hands but help is needed, so I help.

+1. The room parents and PTA at our school are working moms, no SAH. They are just organized people who multitask well and the get it done type. The PTA does things to benefit the whole school while the room parent to benefit the teacher and kids in the class.

BTW, at least the teachers at our school, they are very appreciative of the things we do. Anything we can do to help make their job a little easier and to show appreciation goes a long way to helping teacher retention and satisfaction.

+1

I know many one SAHP at my kid’s school thst does PTA or room parent. Everyone volunteers their time while working full time. To echo PPs above, don’t complain about things you aren’t willing to volunteer for and don’t feel pressure to attend or donate to every outreach from the PTA. But also realize they are trying to improve your child’s school and often times give to support to teachers. Especially if the school is Title 1. Our PTA does canned food drives, winter clothing drives, etc. to support students.

I was a Title 1 PTA president with a full-time job, a preschooler, and a baby. I did it because nobody else wanted to, and I saw ways to contribute that were a good fit for me. It was a great experience and I really enjoyed it. But yeah, it not that PTA parents have too much free time. They're the people who motivate and who enjoy it, and are willing to step up even if others might not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not PTA parents, so we just donate a couple thousand per year. It’s a tax write off. People seem to like us because we donate and don’t complain.

I find that the PTA and head room parent volunteers all seem to have VERY strong opinions about things. Our current room parent is the most Type A individual I’ve ever met. They dedicate so much damn time to planning over the top gestures for the teacher and kids.

That’s not us. I’d rather cut a check for $4K and be done with it.

I was totally with you in the first paragraph. If you're "not PTA people" and willing to donate AND not complain, that's great. The worst people are the ones who do nothing but then complain.

But you're pretty disdainful about "the PTA people." If you'd asked me and my husband before we had kids if we'd be "PTA people" we would have said no. But then we realized help was needed and we were competent, levelheaded people who could contribute, so we do. The trope about it being all moms who have too much time on their hands and "strong opinions" needs to rest. I feel like people use that to justify their non-participation. I don't have lots of time on my hands but help is needed, so I help.

+1. The room parents and PTA at our school are working moms, no SAH. They are just organized people who multitask well and the get it done type. The PTA does things to benefit the whole school while the room parent to benefit the teacher and kids in the class.

BTW, at least the teachers at our school, they are very appreciative of the things we do. Anything we can do to help make their job a little easier and to show appreciation goes a long way to helping teacher retention and satisfaction.

+1

I know many one SAHP at my kid’s school thst does PTA or room parent. Everyone volunteers their time while working full time. To echo PPs above, don’t complain about things you aren’t willing to volunteer for and don’t feel pressure to attend or donate to every outreach from the PTA. But also realize they are trying to improve your child’s school and often times give to support to teachers. Especially if the school is Title 1. Our PTA does canned food drives, winter clothing drives, etc. to support students.

I was a Title 1 PTA president with a full-time job, a preschooler, and a baby. I did it because nobody else wanted to, and I saw ways to contribute that were a good fit for me. It was a great experience and I really enjoyed it. But yeah, it not that PTA parents have too much free time. They're the people who motivate and who enjoy it, and are willing to step up even if others might not.

In my many years as a parent of a now middle schooler, I've known many PTO/PTA presidents and every single one was a full-time working parent. SAHs incorporated into the overall organization, but for some reason all the presidents (5, at various schools) worked full time and also did this.

[Anonymous]

But here's a tip: don't complain about stuff unless you are willing to take on responsibility for it. There is nothing worse than the parent who shows up to a PTO meeting with a bug up her butt about some issue or another (school drop off, the way a fundraising email was worded, the timing of an event) but doesn't volunteer to take on an organizing role. If you don't want to take on big volunteer roles, do NOT complain about the work of the people who do. Express gratitude, ask how you can help. These people do not work for you, and the PTO volunteers aren't paid at all. Be respectful and mindful of the effort involved. This is the #1 thing I see with PK parents who come in -- they have oversized expectations and can get whiny and rude when the flawed public school doesn't live up to those expectations. It's a good way to annoy people.

+1000