The Valley, Season 3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stand Nia's and Michelle's voices.

Same!!!! Is that botox voice?

I don't know but I can't stand when they speak. Reminds me of how I feel when Dorit says "Sutton."

I find everything Dorit says to be annoying, but you're right, she just spits out "Sutton" and it's awful. I like that name, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stand Nia's and Michelle's voices.

Same!!!! Is that botox voice?

No, it’s pageant voice for Nia. Michelle sounds stupid and has some kind of weird accent going on. She speaks very slowly and pronounces things oddly.

Her mom and dad are both non-native English speakers if I recall, perhaps Spanish and Farsi? I can't remember. Anyway, she's explained that before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stand Nia's and Michelle's voices.

Same!!!! Is that botox voice?

No, it’s pageant voice for Nia. Michelle sounds stupid and has some kind of weird accent going on. She speaks very slowly and pronounces things oddly.

Her mom and dad are both non-native English speakers if I recall, perhaps Spanish and Farsi? I can't remember. Anyway, she's explained that before.

Yes, her mother is Mexican and her Dad is Iranian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have so many thoughts.

Luke is annoying and giving me the ick. Pushing Kristen on getting back to their sex life. He’s already wanting to go out with the guys. I have a funny feeling they won’t last and he will probably eventually cheat on her.

Kristen - I love seeing her struggles with being a new mom. She doesn’t act like it’s all roses and perfect. She’s keeping it real. Stressed out leaving the house, late, worried about the baby - I can totally relate.

Danny/Nia - love the new home but yeah that commute sucks. 4 kids is a lot. I knew Danny wanted a brother for Asher.

Janet/Jason - is Janet on Ozempic? She looks so thin. She obviously wants back on the show. She’s right about Danny’s “sexual assault” though. But she will have to squash it if she wants to get back on.

Brittany - yikes. Her weight gain is out of control. Her new man looks like trash. But I do like how she has a sensory room for Cruz - it seems like she is in tune with his treatments. Good for her.

Jesse - the new girlfriend is weird and not even pretty. You tell her I love you and she says thank you? Ugh. He’s more into her than she is into him. Sad.

Michelle - she’s sort of in her own now. Doesn’t have a great storyline.

Jasmine - getting super aggressive and annoying and flipping out about nothing. Trying to stay relevant?

Zach/Benji - I really like Zach. He’s fun to watch.

Lala - don’t know why she got on the show. Her shtick is old and annoying. Asking the lifeguard for his number??

Danny thought that moving to the middle of nowhere would somehow cure his alcholism without ever saying the word "alcoholic" or doing the work.

Janet seems like she really wants to be back on the show but also really didn't like how she looked on the last season when she watched it back. I don't think Jason is cut out for reality TV. He reminds me of myself in a way with the "I don't like it when people apologize but don't change" -- you can't expect genuine human interaction and growth on a Bravo show, but I do see why he can't fix his face to apologize to Danny either, just to smooth things over and get that check. It's a matter of self-respect.

Luke is ridiculous. He admitted to Danny that he promised he would not get too drunk and fall asleep on the couch, then did exactly that. But when Kristen brings it up he's super defensive about how he's walking on eggshells and having a hard time becoming a parent instead of just apologizing. Shut up.

My read is that Jasmine does not want to get married and is externalizing her anxiety on everyone around her, Michelle in particular. I wonder if she and Michelle had some off-camera conversation about Jasmine's nerves and now she regrets verbalizing it and is spiraling (her saying "Michelle does not understand what people mean when they talk" or something was so random it felt like setting up an alibi for when everything comes out).

Brittany needs to learn to listen to Zack. This guy from back home looks like a stepped-on potato and is VISIBLY THRILLED to be on TV. He's not the one. Get laid but stay single.

Lacey had too much work too young. I can see that she's trying to back off the filler but she looks strangely deflated and kind of lopsided as a result. Jesse is desperate for a connection and doing too much. He cannot be single, which is why he's trying to move in with Lacey while simultaneously refusing to grant Michelle a divorce. At least their kid seems better this season - she was edited as a super brat last year with Jesse showering her with money to win Favorite Parent.

[Anonymous]

Lacey’s eyes are lopsided - one is lower than the other. Jesse downgraded for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stand Nia's and Michelle's voices.

Same!!!! Is that botox voice?

I don't know but I can't stand when they speak. Reminds me of how I feel when Dorit says "Sutton."

I find everything Dorit says to be annoying, but you're right, she just spits out "Sutton" and it's awful. I like that name, too.

Suh-in

No t's.

[Anonymous]

Michelle reminds me of Dorit - absolutely cannot help themselves but to get every cast member on her side in the relationship divide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Michelle reminds me of Dorit - absolutely cannot help themselves but to get every cast member on her side in the relationship divide.

Interesting, I don’t see this at all. Dorit is so fake and I don’t think Michelle is. She’s a little weird but I think she’s genuine.

[Anonymous]

Did anyone see last night’s episode? Luke still acting like an a$$. They won’t last. He’s too young and immature to be a father in my opinion. He comes home drunk, sleeps on the couch and is so hungover he can’t help with the baby in the am? What a loser!

Danny pulling out that stupid breast contraption to put on to try to fake breastfeed Adelaide through a tube. That poor baby was crying. Omg. Just no.

Michelle pushing her weird friend with the braids onto Schwartz? Schwartz having a cigarette behind his ear like he’s some cool dude? Omg isn’t he in his 40s? Pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone see last night’s episode? Luke still acting like an a$$. They won’t last. He’s too young and immature to be a father in my opinion. He comes home drunk, sleeps on the couch and is so hungover he can’t help with the baby in the am? What a loser!

Danny pulling out that stupid breast contraption to put on to try to fake breastfeed Adelaide through a tube. That poor baby was crying. Omg. Just no.

Michelle pushing her weird friend with the braids onto Schwartz? Schwartz having a cigarette behind his ear like he’s some cool dude? Omg isn’t he in his 40s? Pathetic.

I think the Schwartz/Michelle, Schwartz/Michelle's friend, Lala/lifeguard thing all comes from the same place: trying to force a storyline for 2 single bravolebs so they'll stick on The Valley even though they don't really fit the thesis of the show. Schwartz in particular has no business being on a show about people who left Hollywood and moved to The Valley to raise families, so they're just putting him in every scene to make something happen so that they can justify bringing him back.

Luke and Kristen won't last but it's not entirely his fault. Don't try to build a real relationship with a chronically-single Bravoleb whose clock is ticking, she's going to take that sperm and run (see also: Lindsay Hubbard, Kenya Moore, Porsha Williams, Bethenny Frankel, et cetera ad nauseam).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone see last night’s episode? Luke still acting like an a$$. They won’t last. He’s too young and immature to be a father in my opinion. He comes home drunk, sleeps on the couch and is so hungover he can’t help with the baby in the am? What a loser!

Danny pulling out that stupid breast contraption to put on to try to fake breastfeed Adelaide through a tube. That poor baby was crying. Omg. Just no.

Michelle pushing her weird friend with the braids onto Schwartz? Schwartz having a cigarette behind his ear like he’s some cool dude? Omg isn’t he in his 40s? Pathetic.

I think the Schwartz/Michelle, Schwartz/Michelle's friend, Lala/lifeguard thing all comes from the same place: trying to force a storyline for 2 single bravolebs so they'll stick on The Valley even though they don't really fit the thesis of the show. Schwartz in particular has no business being on a show about people who left Hollywood and moved to The Valley to raise families, so they're just putting him in every scene to make something happen so that they can justify bringing him back.

Luke and Kristen won't last but it's not entirely his fault. Don't try to build a real relationship with a chronically-single Bravoleb whose clock is ticking, she's going to take that sperm and run (see also: Lindsay Hubbard, Kenya Moore, Porsha Williams, Bethenny Frankel, et cetera ad nauseam).

Agree. Her clock was ticking. He just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

Schwartz doesn’t belong on the show. It’s really weird to have him on. Lala at least has kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have so many thoughts.

Luke is annoying and giving me the ick. Pushing Kristen on getting back to their sex life. He’s already wanting to go out with the guys. I have a funny feeling they won’t last and he will probably eventually cheat on her.

Kristen - I love seeing her struggles with being a new mom. She doesn’t act like it’s all roses and perfect. She’s keeping it real. Stressed out leaving the house, late, worried about the baby - I can totally relate.

Danny/Nia - love the new home but yeah that commute sucks. 4 kids is a lot. I knew Danny wanted a brother for Asher.

Janet/Jason - is Janet on Ozempic? She looks so thin. She obviously wants back on the show. She’s right about Danny’s “sexual assault” though. But she will have to squash it if she wants to get back on.

Brittany - yikes. Her weight gain is out of control. Her new man looks like trash. But I do like how she has a sensory room for Cruz - it seems like she is in tune with his treatments. Good for her.

Jesse - the new girlfriend is weird and not even pretty. You tell her I love you and she says thank you? Ugh. He’s more into her than she is into him. Sad.

Michelle - she’s sort of in her own now. Doesn’t have a great storyline.

Jasmine - getting super aggressive and annoying and flipping out about nothing. Trying to stay relevant?

Zach/Benji - I really like Zach. He’s fun to watch.

Lala - don’t know why she got on the show. Her shtick is old and annoying. Asking the lifeguard for his number??

Danny thought that moving to the middle of nowhere would somehow cure his alcholism without ever saying the word "alcoholic" or doing the work.

Janet seems like she really wants to be back on the show but also really didn't like how she looked on the last season when she watched it back. I don't think Jason is cut out for reality TV. He reminds me of myself in a way with the "I don't like it when people apologize but don't change" -- you can't expect genuine human interaction and growth on a Bravo show, but I do see why he can't fix his face to apologize to Danny either, just to smooth things over and get that check. It's a matter of self-respect.

Luke is ridiculous. He admitted to Danny that he promised he would not get too drunk and fall asleep on the couch, then did exactly that. But when Kristen brings it up he's super defensive about how he's walking on eggshells and having a hard time becoming a parent instead of just apologizing. Shut up.

My read is that Jasmine does not want to get married and is externalizing her anxiety on everyone around her, Michelle in particular. I wonder if she and Michelle had some off-camera conversation about Jasmine's nerves and now she regrets verbalizing it and is spiraling (her saying "Michelle does not understand what people mean when they talk" or something was so random it felt like setting up an alibi for when everything comes out).

Brittany needs to learn to listen to Zack. This guy from back home looks like a stepped-on potato and is VISIBLY THRILLED to be on TV. He's not the one. Get laid but stay single.

Lacey had too much work too young. I can see that she's trying to back off the filler but she looks strangely deflated and kind of lopsided as a result. Jesse is desperate for a connection and doing too much. He cannot be single, which is why he's trying to move in with Lacey while simultaneously refusing to grant Michelle a divorce. At least their kid seems better this season - she was edited as a super brat last year with Jesse showering her with money to win Favorite Parent.

What makes you think this?

[Anonymous]

They all just need to be done filming, move on and get real jobs. This show sucks.

Brittany had everyone's sympathy and she just moved on to another loser. Why is she so stupid?

Lala and Janet are vile people. Michelle is a hypocrite and milking her boring storyline.

They are making Jasmine into the angry black women trope and I can't believe she is allowing it.

I feel sorry for Nia for so many reasons.

I like Kristen and appreciate the honest convos about post pregnancy everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have so many thoughts.

Luke is annoying and giving me the ick. Pushing Kristen on getting back to their sex life. He’s already wanting to go out with the guys. I have a funny feeling they won’t last and he will probably eventually cheat on her.

Kristen - I love seeing her struggles with being a new mom. She doesn’t act like it’s all roses and perfect. She’s keeping it real. Stressed out leaving the house, late, worried about the baby - I can totally relate.

Danny/Nia - love the new home but yeah that commute sucks. 4 kids is a lot. I knew Danny wanted a brother for Asher.

Janet/Jason - is Janet on Ozempic? She looks so thin. She obviously wants back on the show. She’s right about Danny’s “sexual assault” though. But she will have to squash it if she wants to get back on.

Brittany - yikes. Her weight gain is out of control. Her new man looks like trash. But I do like how she has a sensory room for Cruz - it seems like she is in tune with his treatments. Good for her.

Jesse - the new girlfriend is weird and not even pretty. You tell her I love you and she says thank you? Ugh. He’s more into her than she is into him. Sad.

Michelle - she’s sort of in her own now. Doesn’t have a great storyline.

Jasmine - getting super aggressive and annoying and flipping out about nothing. Trying to stay relevant?

Zach/Benji - I really like Zach. He’s fun to watch.

Lala - don’t know why she got on the show. Her shtick is old and annoying. Asking the lifeguard for his number??

Danny thought that moving to the middle of nowhere would somehow cure his alcholism without ever saying the word "alcoholic" or doing the work.

Janet seems like she really wants to be back on the show but also really didn't like how she looked on the last season when she watched it back. I don't think Jason is cut out for reality TV. He reminds me of myself in a way with the "I don't like it when people apologize but don't change" -- you can't expect genuine human interaction and growth on a Bravo show, but I do see why he can't fix his face to apologize to Danny either, just to smooth things over and get that check. It's a matter of self-respect.

Luke is ridiculous. He admitted to Danny that he promised he would not get too drunk and fall asleep on the couch, then did exactly that. But when Kristen brings it up he's super defensive about how he's walking on eggshells and having a hard time becoming a parent instead of just apologizing. Shut up.

My read is that Jasmine does not want to get married and is externalizing her anxiety on everyone around her, Michelle in particular. I wonder if she and Michelle had some off-camera conversation about Jasmine's nerves and now she regrets verbalizing it and is spiraling (her saying "Michelle does not understand what people mean when they talk" or something was so random it felt like setting up an alibi for when everything comes out).

Brittany needs to learn to listen to Zack. This guy from back home looks like a stepped-on potato and is VISIBLY THRILLED to be on TV. He's not the one. Get laid but stay single.

Lacey had too much work too young. I can see that she's trying to back off the filler but she looks strangely deflated and kind of lopsided as a result. Jesse is desperate for a connection and doing too much. He cannot be single, which is why he's trying to move in with Lacey while simultaneously refusing to grant Michelle a divorce. At least their kid seems better this season - she was edited as a super brat last year with Jesse showering her with money to win Favorite Parent.

What makes you think this?

He basically just fled the scene of the crime instead of taking any ownership and changing his behavior. He now lives hours away from the bars where he was causing a scene all the time, has removed his wife from the proximity of the friend group that was at least partially holding him accountable, and he is trying to just "stop drinking/drink less" without any structured approach (see Nia approaching him at the housewarming party to make sure he wasn't taking a shot -- he's clearly not supposed to be drinking but she doesn't trust that he won't, either in general or when around this group).

He wants to brush it under the rug and just have a star-wipe reset for the new season but not really take accountability for his drinking/groping/SA behavior.

Please don't take this to be me being #teamjanet or anything - her whole "he made me uncomfortable shutting the pantry door" thing was genuinely dumb, and she was definitely trying to make Danny's drinking her own storyline, but Danny can't just keep piling on more babies and think that his problems with alcohol will resolve magically. I get a "pray the sin of drinking away" vibe from him and Nia and I don't think it's going to work.