Desperate for social help with teen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your teen find groups on Discord or Roblox to reduce their stress.

This is at best satire. Those are both dangerous online places for many teens, even for many neurotypical ones.

lol what? I have Aspergers and the internet was so much easier than in-person since I was bullied in school a lot. Making my videos on YouTube when I was in middle school and making online friends was just so much easier.

YouTube is a very different platform than either Roblox or Discord. Pick online platforms very carefully.

The latter two have recurring credible news reports of being infested with child predators.

Kids with ASD get easily glued to different fandoms on YouTube though, I would assume its either those GoAnimate/Logo kids content.

[Anonymous]

OP I’m so sorry. This is all really hard—it’s heartbreaking. The key I think is practice with people, ideally an open and accepting group, which builds confidence. Get him to join anything—robotics, scouts, youth group, crew, rock climbing, or theater. Incentivize, like he doesn’t have to do something he hates while he’s in it (like clean his room) or he gets extra screen time. Acknowledge he’s doing a hard thing stepping out and praise the sh*t out of him.

He might not meet a bestie, but it all builds. He needs those foundations. And from there you do the next thing.

I also looked at Social Grace in Arlington: https://socialgrace.com/. They do some outings over the summer and groups for older kids which is hard to find.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have your teen find groups on Discord or Roblox to reduce their stress.

Death spiral

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your teen find groups on Discord or Roblox to reduce their stress.

This is at best satire. Those are both dangerous online places for many teens, even for many neurotypical ones.

I thought autistic people thrived more online? This seems ironic.

Not kids and not really.

In fact a lot of the recent adults flipping out are ASD who spent too much alone time online - luigi, CalTech Trump shooter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I’m so sorry. This is all really hard—it’s heartbreaking. The key I think is practice with people, ideally an open and accepting group, which builds confidence. Get him to join anything—robotics, scouts, youth group, crew, rock climbing, or theater. Incentivize, like he doesn’t have to do something he hates while he’s in it (like clean his room) or he gets extra screen time. Acknowledge he’s doing a hard thing stepping out and praise the sh*t out of him.

He might not meet a bestie, but it all builds. He needs those foundations. And from there you do the next thing.

I also looked at Social Grace in Arlington: https://socialgrace.com/. They do some outings over the summer and groups for older kids which is hard to find.

This.

You will never get out of the Setting Up Play date years. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s going to cost you some money but put him in regular kid stuff. 14 is not too late to put him on rec team sports like soccer where half the kids can’t really play anyways. Sign him up for classes and other interests he has but the limited verbal Interaction with other kids through sports and nobody will notice he is autistic.

I suggest solo competitor team sports, like swimming, golf, track, cross country, etc. where there is room for a variety of athletic abilities and kids can improve on their personal records but will have minimal impact on the whole team if they’re not up to par athletically. Soccer will be brutal for a 14-year old who has not played before.

Also look for neurodivergent teen groups—they often have game nights, outings and other fun activities.

My opinion is that it’s a losing proposition to try to convince neurodivergent kids to conform to neurotypical social behavior (matching text length, for example) and is better to support them to build relationships with other ND kids. I say this with no judgement or knowledge about all you have tried! His people are out there!

[Anonymous]

A D & D night at a local library maybe?