Desperate for social help with teen

[Anonymous]

My 14 yo AuDHD ds has almost no friends. He reaches out to kids and invites and they blow him off. He’s lonely and feels left out.

His social skills are lacking. He constantly talks about inappropriate things and says shocking things for attention. He is also highly sensitive. All of this alienates other kids.

Last year, he had a couple outlets. He was a junior volunteer at a non profit animal shelter. They liked him and he seemed happy there but now he no longer wants to do it.

We try to give him advice socially. It goes in one ear and out the other. He is in therapy and on meds. I’m thinking of enrolling him in a social skills group but I’ve heard mixed things about how effective they are. Any advice is appreciated

[Anonymous]

Is he at a typical school? Where are you? SN rec sports is one way. Have you reached out to other SN parents of kids in his classes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he at a typical school? Where are you? SN rec sports is one way. Have you reached out to other SN parents of kids in his classes?

He is in public with an IEP and he spends part of the day in a social/emotional program. He been in the same public since K. I know many of the parents well and have talked to some over the years. He did better socially until about 4th grade when the gap between him and other kids became more apparent..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14 yo AuDHD ds has almost no friends. He reaches out to kids and invites and they blow him off. He’s lonely and feels left out.

What do you mean almost? What did he try with the kids who blew him off?

Anonymous wrote:His social skills are lacking. He constantly talks about inappropriate things and says shocking things for attention. He is also highly sensitive. All of this alienates other kids.

Where do you see this? What is he doing and saying?

Anonymous wrote:Last year, he had a couple outlets. He was a junior volunteer at a non profit animal shelter. They liked him and he seemed happy there but now he no longer wants to do it.

Did he tell you why? What other outlet did he have?

Anonymous wrote:We try to give him advice socially. It goes in one ear and out the other. He is in therapy and on meds. I’m thinking of enrolling him in a social skills group but I’ve heard mixed things about how effective they are. Any advice is appreciated

What is he in therapy for? What advice are you giving him? Are you giving him advice beforehand or afterwards?

[Anonymous]

Over the years, we've done social thinking classes and PEERS. Social thinking classes were useless, but PEERS was great. It includes a parent coaching component too, to help generalize the skills. We did it at CAAT, but there are other providers.

[Anonymous]

My child with ADHD is in a similar boat. I'm exhausted and feel terrible for him. He does not match the energy of other kids and on texts when kids he insists are his friends give one word answers he responds with 10 lines of text. It's been very disappointing to see him socially isolated but I also understand how annoying he must be. He grates on us, everything is an argument, and it never seems to end. Tonight I was holding back tears battling him at bedtime because of how frustrating he is to deal with, and because we have so much on our plates with other kids, demanding jobs, financial strain, and a new medical diagnosis. The only things I've found to be helpful are the adhd parenting podcast (with the adhd dude and mike mcleod) and now we re working through mike mcleoud's new executive functioning book. when my kid doesn't wear me out to the point that i want to strangle him and we can sit down and do exercises together its actually quite good. we tried group therapy for similar kids over several years and they were expensive, time consuming, and useless (unfortunately). I hope a new school and maturity will help, but I've been holding out hope for years and don't feel like we have made much progress.

[Anonymous]

According to the teachers, my AuDHD son is social but he is not looking for closer friendships at school. That means he has some casual friends but there are never best friends. I make sure that he gets to interact with kids at least a few times a month ( except summer time or school breaks) under my watch. I do not care what it is, and it could be playdate, birthday invitation, classes, sports, group activities or attend a kid centered event etc. I have helped him to get some friendships because the parents are okay with me and him. I have no luck to persuade him to do volunteering yet. I spread the net out to see any potential friendship.

[Anonymous]

Have your teen find groups on Discord or Roblox to reduce their stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have your teen find groups on Discord or Roblox to reduce their stress.

This is at best satire. Those are both dangerous online places for many teens, even for many neurotypical ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your teen find groups on Discord or Roblox to reduce their stress.

This is at best satire. Those are both dangerous online places for many teens, even for many neurotypical ones.

I thought autistic people thrived more online? This seems ironic.

[Anonymous]

It’s going to cost you some money but put him in regular kid stuff. 14 is not too late to put him on rec team sports like soccer where half the kids can’t really play anyways. Sign him up for classes and other interests he has but the limited verbal Interaction with other kids through sports and nobody will notice he is autistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your teen find groups on Discord or Roblox to reduce their stress.

This is at best satire. Those are both dangerous online places for many teens, even for many neurotypical ones.

lol what? I have Aspergers and the internet was so much easier than in-person since I was bullied in school a lot. Making my videos on YouTube when I was in middle school and making online friends was just so much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your teen find groups on Discord or Roblox to reduce their stress.

This is at best satire. Those are both dangerous online places for many teens, even for many neurotypical ones.

lol what? I have Aspergers and the internet was so much easier than in-person since I was bullied in school a lot. Making my videos on YouTube when I was in middle school and making online friends was just so much easier.

Thats not really a good excuse though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your teen find groups on Discord or Roblox to reduce their stress.

This is at best satire. Those are both dangerous online places for many teens, even for many neurotypical ones.

lol what? I have Aspergers and the internet was so much easier than in-person since I was bullied in school a lot. Making my videos on YouTube when I was in middle school and making online friends was just so much easier.

Thats not really a good excuse though.

Excuse? It's not an "excuse" it's reality. Not sure what you're all on about here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your teen find groups on Discord or Roblox to reduce their stress.

This is at best satire. Those are both dangerous online places for many teens, even for many neurotypical ones.

lol what? I have Aspergers and the internet was so much easier than in-person since I was bullied in school a lot. Making my videos on YouTube when I was in middle school and making online friends was just so much easier.

YouTube is a very different platform than either Roblox or Discord. Pick online platforms very carefully.

The latter two have recurring credible news reports of being infested with child predators.