FTM trans student starting college: housing situation?

[Anonymous]

Over a decade ago, my male friend suspected his freshman year roommate was trans. He ended up being trans. My friend did not “consent” to having a trans roommate. Absolutely nobody died or even suffered. It was fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of the FTMs I know are just “one of the guys”. That’s wishful thinking.
Many do not have any cis het male friends at all. This does not seem like a good idea.

Really? That’s sad. I know of two FTMs in my cis sons’ social circles and they are absolutely treated as one of the guys and room with cis male roommates on school trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of colleges ask students won’t only their own gender but also what gender roommates they are comfortable with. I wouldn’t push it until you see the housing questionnaire. You can get an idea from what school it is how risky SS’s plan is. Big difference between somewhere like Oberlin and a big state U, etc. there are schools where most students would be fine with it. But maybe you wouldn’t be this concerned if it were that type of school.

The gender of the trans person is male. And most men would say they’re fine rooming with a man.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure if it’s possible for a FTM to get pregnant but if yes, your SS needs some condoms and pregnancy tests on hand

[Anonymous]

It's a non issue at both of my kid's schools. Some trans kids choose the specialty housing, but not everyone does. No big deal to college students today. Those who have concerns about roommate gender would indicate it on the housing form and be acccommodated.

[Anonymous]

My son is trans and indicated in the housing app that he would prefer a trans roommate that was like him female to male. It worked out perfectly freshman year with the two. After freshman year and establishing more friends he is now rooming with guys. He has been using men’s bathrooms and restrooms since 12 th grade. No one says anything to him and he feels perfectly safe. I would recommend honestly and openeness. The younger generations are a lot more accepting than older generations.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is trans and goes to a HWC. There was no option to disclose on the housing form. She ended up with random roommates and it was fine. I was nervous. She always changed in the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea what my college roommates’ genitals looked like and if anyone here did, that is kind of messed up.

You can be sure that SS knows that there are people who will not like their being trans. But on average, the kids are less bigoted than you expect. This is a you problem.

[Anonymous]

My son is FTM and also wanted to just be one of the guys. In the end he found another trans guy to room with in a dorm with single user bathrooms. The University had gender inclusive housing until recently but Ohio passed a law that specifically outlawed dorm sharing between people that are biologically different sexes.
https://fod.osu.edu/restrooms-locker-rooms-and-changing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the FTMs I know are just “one of the guys”. That’s wishful thinking.
Many do not have any cis het male friends at all. This does not seem like a good idea.

Really? That’s sad. I know of two FTMs in my cis sons’ social circles and they are absolutely treated as one of the guys and room with cis male roommates on school trips.

They still bleed 3-5 days every month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the FTMs I know are just “one of the guys”. That’s wishful thinking.
Many do not have any cis het male friends at all. This does not seem like a good idea.

Really? That’s sad. I know of two FTMs in my cis sons’ social circles and they are absolutely treated as one of the guys and room with cis male roommates on school trips.

They still bleed 3-5 days every month.

You know menstruating is completely optional for women and trans men, right?

I'm a cis woman who hasn't had a period in years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the FTMs I know are just “one of the guys”. That’s wishful thinking.
Many do not have any cis het male friends at all. This does not seem like a good idea.

Really? That’s sad. I know of two FTMs in my cis sons’ social circles and they are absolutely treated as one of the guys and room with cis male roommates on school trips.

They still bleed 3-5 days every month.

The FTM people I know take either continual birth control with no placebo days, or puberty blockers or testosterone. They do not bleed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea what my college roommates’ genitals looked like and if anyone here did, that is kind of messed up.

You can be sure that SS knows that there are people who will not like their being trans. But on average, the kids are less bigoted than you expect. This is a you problem.

While I never saw my roommate’s genitalia, most male students have seen their roommates chest.

[Anonymous]

Has your kid thought at all about his prospective roommates? How they may feel about being deceived?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has your kid thought at all about his prospective roommates? How they may feel about being deceived?

Not sharing information about your body with a roommate isn’t deceiving someone. People are entitled to keep information about their bodies private.