Difficult to lead boy friendship as a mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is a pathetic dud

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Online gaming is my advice

No. No. No.

[Anonymous]

We threw a bunch of old building materials in the backyard and my son and his friends do crazy stuff with it. I think with boys this age they want to do things that are exciting and allow them to show off their skills without being micromanaged by grownups. Sports and video games can do that, but also anything building related seems to be a hit.

[Anonymous]

Agree with Gaming - my son has so many friends and they all game together. Friends in his grade, friends a grade above and a grade younger. They also chat on zoom a lot. It’s not the end all be all either- they all play sports, get good grades, meet up in person, go to the movies together, go to museums, enjoy cultural experiences etc. gaming is just one aspect of their friendships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP specifically said “except video games and sports” and then all of the responses listed…video games and sports.

Unfortunately, that's what boys like to do with their downtime. Or ride electric scooters.

Um…no. Please try to understand the fact that many boys do many types of activities far beyond sports and video games.

This. The lack of imagination as to what boys and men might be interested in is astonishing. Imagine anyone saying unfortunately, that's what girls like to do with their downtime - try on makeup and do their nails.

Get real people.

[Anonymous]

Sign him up for teams in the things that interest him. 10 is young enough where sports is still pretty chill and the boys are mostly goofballs. Things like robotics and drones and rocketry will interest those that have an engineering bent. Did the kid like Lego? That's a pretty good clue. Just get him out there and do things. 10 year old boys are mostly puppy dogs. They just need to be put on a field with other puppy dogs.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 boys - we do not do regular video games at playdates. We do have a Nex which is always a big hit. Look into it - a lot of people have tried one at our house and bought one themselves

Everyone always wants to come to our house for play dates, some of the reasons are
- lots of stuff to build forts and they can use the furniture / cushions etc
- ninja style equipment on ceiling in our rec room
- I always offer a treat - fresh brownies or cookie decorating or something
- have kit type things to get out if it’s a newer friend and it seems like they’re having a hard time - slime making, airplane launchers, etc. established friends don’t need these but they’re really handy for first time playdates in case it seems like they’re stalling out and can’t decide what to do

[Anonymous]

Do you have any classmates that live in a walkable or bikeable distance? Start there.

[Anonymous]

I have a 10 year old who struggles with this.
First of all I always encourage him to invite anyone he likes. Once I had a ton of cardboard boxes from a fundraiser and I let the boys build a fort in the yard. I will take them to a movie, out for ice cream, or go karting. If it’s just one friend it’s not too expensive.
I do not allow online gaming because I KNOW my child and I know he would not be able to control himself. He would be completely addicted and would never socialize in person again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your kid like to do? We've had zero issues with Roblox and Minecraft. But we don't allow computer video games when he has friends over. Sometimes they play Madden or a FIFA game on DH's old PlayStation.

He's happy being outside for hours on end throwing a football around or kicking a soccer ball. We also have a tetherball, basketball hoop, and some other outdoor activities. Or they play games inside.

Sometimes they go to arcades, trampoline parks, mini golf, etc. Once every other weekend DS meets up with friends at a local park and they play board games and run around.

Don't manufacturer his friendships. What does he say when you ask him if he wants to invite a friend over? What does he enjoy doing? Just let him invite friends over and then stay out of it. They will figure out ways to entertain themselves. Heck my 13 year old DS had friends over last weekend and they dug out his old toy soldiers and army set up and staged this whole elaborate game.

Smart. More parents should do this. Computer games are no way to entertain a friend and kids should be having actual fun and being active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We threw a bunch of old building materials in the backyard and my son and his friends do crazy stuff with it. I think with boys this age they want to do things that are exciting and allow them to show off their skills without being micromanaged by grownups. Sports and video games can do that, but also anything building related seems to be a hit.

Now that is a cool idea! Your kid is actually learning something.

[Anonymous]

Stereotypical boys like games. Card games, board games, and escape rooms count.

They also like to see what they can do. Anything a little hard or edgy works. During the last ice storm, my child and his friends thought it was so much fun to break ice. They double-loved the praise they got for it.

It’s easier for a parent who understands to facilitate these friendships. I saw one dad playing soccer with a group of boys. They were loving it.

[Anonymous]

My son isn't sporty and loves video games but for him, Scouts is his big social activity. They meet every weekend!

[Anonymous]

My son has friends over and they spend most of their time playing with toys. This typically involves whatever toys he has in the house. I don't do any specific planning and I don't let him play games online with strangers. He can play with friends in our house, in person.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 boys. They are now in high school. They both play sports. Around age 10, both boys did chess. My older son is also into chess, science, art, biking and fishing.

Age 10 is a little old for parents to be involved. We moved when my older son was in 4th grade. He is a quiet kid by nature. We threw a birthday party and invited all the boys in the class and surprisingly all of them came. He is athletic but more of a nerdy kid.

I recommend scouts. Both my boys did scouts. The parents we know the best are the ones from scouts.