Jealous of this MIL-DIL relationship

[Anonymous]

She is buying access to grandkids, smart woman

[Anonymous]

PP here. My MIL is also very openminded. She likes to learn about different cultures and religions and belief systems. Never judges other people's homes, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure this MIL is so sweet. I wonder how her son feels when she makes that remark about preferring her DIL to her own child. She could give her DIL a genuine compliment without also putting her son down, but she chooses to throw that zinger in there.

And her generosity may come with plenty of strings that your friend will discover later on.

There’s nothing to envy here. Make your own money and be happy to be able to pay your own way, OP.

There is something fundamentally wrong with you that you can only see the bad in everything. I feel bad for your family.

[Anonymous]

This is a rare thread. Complimentary of MILs! Wow. Of course the occasional shrew still can’t resist jumping in with an insult or two, but this is DCUM so you can’t have everything.

Well done all?

— another great MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure this MIL is so sweet. I wonder how her son feels when she makes that remark about preferring her DIL to her own child. She could give her DIL a genuine compliment without also putting her son down, but she chooses to throw that zinger in there.

Yeah that’s a pretty big red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Attempt to be that MIL one day.

Being rich is a prerequisite...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is buying access to grandkids, smart woman

So nasty and projecting.

[Anonymous]

My MIL is awesome. We get along great and I know she has my back. She had a terrible relationship with her MIL (who was a miserable person) so it was very important to her that she have a good relationship with me. Honestly, she’s just a nice person so she didn’t have to try that hard.

[Anonymous]

You've got to approach both the supply and demand side.

Rather than just trying to be that great MIL, also try to raise your kids to choose good, nice, stable partners. That will make it easier to eventually develop good relationships with your DILs and SILs.

You can be great but if your DIL is an unlikeable jerk...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my good friends seems to have the most amazing MIL. I’ve met her a few times and even see her interact with my friend. She is a kind woman who seems to genuinely love her DIL. She always tells her that she loves her and is so lucky to have her in their family. She jokes about how if something were to go awry and her son screws this up she would keep her DIL and avoid her son.

She is rich and pays for them to go on vacations and spoils her with nice presents in birthday and Christmas.

She doesn’t butt in or is overbearing, keeps her opinions to herself and is nothing but appreciative and complimentary to her DIL.

I’ve never seen this and I’m quite jealous!

Good for them.

Good time and bad times ebb and flow so focus on yourself and being a good person

[Anonymous]

Good in-laws take the Kill them with Kindness approach.

Being generous helps as well- paying parts of vacations, treating busy working families, visiting to help during long biz trips.

Good in-laws also have their own lives and orbits of friends. That helps with perspective and is fun socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've got to approach both the supply and demand side.

Rather than just trying to be that great MIL, also try to raise your kids to choose good, nice, stable partners. That will make it easier to eventually develop good relationships with your DILs and SILs.

You can be great but if your DIL is an unlikeable jerk...

Likewise if your son is a stubborn unlikeable jerk who makes messes….. you may like your DIl or ex-DIL more than him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is buying access to grandkids, smart woman

So nasty and projecting.

Why?! I genuinely don’t understand.
It’s natural to want to have access and DILs are unpredictable.
I am 50 btw and nowhere near being a MIL fwiw

[Anonymous]

I’m glad for you OP! My MIL is difficult so I’m always a little jealous of the kind ones.

I spend a lot of time thinking about how to ensure I can be a positive, loving family member to my kid’s chosen partners. Mainly because I’ve had such a rocky time. I think women who are emotionally secure don’t have nearly as many issues, no matter the personalities involved.