Jealous of this MIL-DIL relationship
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Anonymous
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One of my good friends seems to have the most amazing MIL. I’ve met her a few times and even see her interact with my friend. She is a kind woman who seems to genuinely love her DIL. She always tells her that she loves her and is so lucky to have her in their family. She jokes about how if something were to go awry and her son screws this up she would keep her DIL and avoid her son.
She is rich and pays for them to go on vacations and spoils her with nice presents in birthday and Christmas. She doesn’t butt in or is overbearing, keeps her opinions to herself and is nothing but appreciative and complimentary to her DIL. I’ve never seen this and I’m quite jealous! |
Anonymous
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I would hate for someone to tell me that they love me all the time. But I know that's just me and my social awkwardness. Other than that she sounds lovely.
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Anonymous
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Attempt to be that MIL one day. |
Anonymous
+1 File this info away! Honestly, I think my mother is like this to my husband, and my brother's wife. She's a really, really good MIL (and grandmother!) It's really nice, and has also improved her relationship with me (which has always been good, but you know, mothers and daughters, there's been ups and downs over the years). It's particularly nice for my husband whose own mother died before we married. |
Anonymous
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I’m not sure this MIL is so sweet. I wonder how her son feels when she makes that remark about preferring her DIL to her own child. She could give her DIL a genuine compliment without also putting her son down, but she chooses to throw that zinger in there.
And her generosity may come with plenty of strings that your friend will discover later on. There’s nothing to envy here. Make your own money and be happy to be able to pay your own way, OP. |
Anonymous
+1 I was going to say, I used to have that MIL. And then things changed... Not that I wish your friend ill or anything, but things aren't always as they seem, or they don't always stay the way they are. |
Anonymous
| Maybe some other part of her life is not as great. Maybe she has horrible neighbors or coworkers, maybe ugly feet, whatever. |
Anonymous
I'm not sure what the point of your post is, but my MIL is similar. I feel very lucky to have her. I'm truly grateful for how supportive she is, and all I can say is I hope to be that MIL someday. |
Anonymous
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This is how I feel about anyone with loving, supportive parents, or siblings who aren't demanding and difficult. Basically anyone with extended family who is a source of joy wins, in my book.
My MIL is probably the extended family member I have the most functional and enjoyable relationship with, actually. She's not like you describe, but she's not hostile or unkind, and I've always been kind to her, so we have a positive relationship in general. Wealthy family members who want to share and be generous also sound like a magical pipe dream. I hope people who have this are appreciative! I can't imagine someone else wanting to take me on vacation or pick up meals for my family. That would be amazing. |
Anonymous
| My mom is like this with DH and I love everything about it. She’s so proud of him and thoughtful when it comes to remembering things he mentions or buying gifts. She’s not wealthy like OP but it’s just as wonderful. DH’s mom is cold and judgy, so he is especially appreciative of my mom. |
Anonymous
My mom is like this with DH. I always say that he's the son she never had. (She would never say it for fear of hurting my feelings but it's definitely true). She'd probably keep him in a divorce too. 
I think my DH feels slightly guilty because he prefers my mom's company to his mothers, but that's an issue of her own making. (She's never been nice to me or spent much time with our kids who are in their 20s now) |
Anonymous
| My MIL shares a lot of these qualities too. She has her faults, but she’s an amazing grandmother, adds a lot of happiness to our lives, tries very hard to help make our lives easier, stays in her lane and doesn’t try to tell us how to live. I very much appreciate it. |
Anonymous
+1 I literally can't fathom what it must be like to have a close sibling relationship, let alone larger extended family. People who have this and discount it, I have no words. |
Anonymous
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I have an amazing MIL. If it makes you feel better, I have a strained relationship with my mom who was emotionally manipulative and controlling when I was growing up. I'll never call her for advice. I'll never call just to talk. She'll never be in my top 5 list of people to call with good or bad news. Visiting with her stresses me out weeks in advance whereas I have a blast with my MIL.
So....at least my MIL makes up for my mom |
Anonymous
| I have a good relationship with my MIL. She really tries to be thoughtful and helpful with things like childcare and driving but is not overbearing. |