Self-Restraint

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's one thing to exercise self-restraint as a tactic to get what you need out of life. Quite another to pretend that it's somehow your duty and that it makes you a better person. Maybe don't gratify yourself with the latter, OP, makes you look smug. You have yet to learn that sometimes virtue is nothing more than virtue signaling to yourself.

LOL if you're jealous of people who think virtue is worth the effort then maybe you can try making the effort yourself even though it's hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's likely, OP, that both have mental illness. It's genetic and gets passed down. Maybe you have something too, but it manifests itself differently.

You can say anything you damn well like! With people like this, it's no use taking the high road. The calculus isn't "whether it's your place", it's what you can gain from your behavior, and what you lose. If you're very anxious and non-confrontational, it might not be worth your mental health to be aggressive. But if you think insults and strong language and raising your voice will achieve your goals, then by all means... go for it. Don't get stuck in etiquette rules when dealing with the crazies in your life.

I don't think it will accomplish anything. They are both incapable of thinking deeply, of considering another side of the situation or of changing their behavior. It would be a waste of time, at the very least. The "Yawn" poster above is a perfect example of the kind of person they are, who don't give a crap about anyone else's distress.

Then stop claiming it's because "you don't have the right" to tell them what for. Your first post sounded like you were scared to death of them.

Well I'm not scared to death of them. That's how i know it will be useless to say anything. And ALSO i want to practice self restraint.

NP. You’re right. Saying anything to them will not go how anyone normal would expect. They will not pause, reflect on their behavior or apologize. They likely will twist your words, throw something back at you and make it all your fault, because this is what they’ve always done. So practice self-restraint and keep your distance as much as possible. Good luck!

Exactly this. Thx

They cannot see what you see. Expecting something different is a waste of time. Put yourself in their position and imagine how you would react to whatever you want to say. The bottom line is people suck at taking criticism. The idea that some normal person would take this another way is a fantasy.

What it takes to get through is more than you have the energy for, I am sorry your parents did not have the fortitude. One of my kids has challenges. It is not her sisters responsibility to fix. We are working on it and hope we can get there. One day they may only have each other and they are both wonderful
With different strengths. All I wish for them both is happiness.