What mental illness might this be?

[Anonymous]

Borderline Personality disorder.

Any addict will make me think this, but everything else you said (the desperation and fear of abandonment) fits.

The key to recognizing Borderline is when you feel like they are a bucket with a hole in the bottom -- no matter how much you give them (attention, love) it will never be enough.

[Anonymous]

He is in what is called “nosediving”. His plane is crashing, he knows it but is too far in the grip of alcoholism and maybe drug addiction to gain control.

His hope is that you will be a parachute or life preserver he can take advantage of so he does not have to go to rehab or AA.

Letting this person into your life would be like allowing drunk squirrels into your home. It might look cute at first until your furniture is chewed up and peed on.

This man has more red flags than a bull fight stadium.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like infatuation is all. Not everything is a "mental illness" and your need to assign a clinical diagnosis is weird.

Set what every boundaries you need in order to have comfort, but it's not appropriate to speculate that there might be something "wrong" with him.

He should be able to set that boundary.He can't. So, let's stop this it's just 'infatuation'. It's something much more sinister that has a hold of him.
A healthy mind can pivot really fast and read the room. That person cannot.

Thank you for your post. I really did not need that rude person above you.



OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Borderline Personality disorder.

Any addict will make me think this, but everything else you said (the desperation and fear of abandonment) fits.

The key to recognizing Borderline is when you feel like they are a bucket with a hole in the bottom -- no matter how much you give them (attention, love) it will never be enough.

Omg. Borderline is what my mother probably had, and I did not recognize it.

I appreciate the kind and useful replies. Based on the advice here, I will block him on platforms. I do not want more of that in my life.

OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is in what is called “nosediving”. His plane is crashing, he knows it but is too far in the grip of alcoholism and maybe drug addiction to gain control.

His hope is that you will be a parachute or life preserver he can take advantage of so he does not have to go to rehab or AA.

Letting this person into your life would be like allowing drunk squirrels into your home. It might look cute at first until your furniture is chewed up and peed on.

This man has more red flags than a bull fight stadium.

I agree with all of this.

You can’t diagnose anyone with anything if they are actively using. It’s right in the front of the DSM. I’m pretty certain he is drunk when he’s sending you all of these messages. Who knows what he’s like when he’s sober. He could be a perfectly pleasant person with normal boundaries or even an extremely anxious or depressed person that would never send messages like this in a million years. You don’t know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is in what is called “nosediving”. His plane is crashing, he knows it but is too far in the grip of alcoholism and maybe drug addiction to gain control.

His hope is that you will be a parachute or life preserver he can take advantage of so he does not have to go to rehab or AA.

Letting this person into your life would be like allowing drunk squirrels into your home. It might look cute at first until your furniture is chewed up and peed on.

This man has more red flags than a bull fight stadium.

I agree with all of this.

You can’t diagnose anyone with anything if they are actively using. It’s right in the front of the DSM. I’m pretty certain he is drunk when he’s sending you all of these messages. Who knows what he’s like when he’s sober. He could be a perfectly pleasant person with normal boundaries or even an extremely anxious or depressed person that would never send messages like this in a million years. You don’t know.

I did not know that! Thanks for adding this.

He noticed that he could no longer see my main social media profile within a day of me blocking him. This makes me think he must be constantly looking at my profile(s).

Since he sent the message to a group chat, I sent a message back and said he is sending far too many messages on far too many platforms, and I can't keep up. I said I blocked him for this reason.

I decided to go all out and be VERY direct when he wrote the group chat that he could not see my profile anymore.

Those of you who talked about substance abuse and how that affects behavior may have hit the nail on the head. Maybe he would not act like a borderline if he was not drunk.

The conclusion is he apologized for sending so many messages and said he would cut it down.

OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is in what is called “nosediving”. His plane is crashing, he knows it but is too far in the grip of alcoholism and maybe drug addiction to gain control.

His hope is that you will be a parachute or life preserver he can take advantage of so he does not have to go to rehab or AA.

Letting this person into your life would be like allowing drunk squirrels into your home. It might look cute at first until your furniture is chewed up and peed on.

This man has more red flags than a bull fight stadium.

I agree with all of this.

You can’t diagnose anyone with anything if they are actively using. It’s right in the front of the DSM. I’m pretty certain he is drunk when he’s sending you all of these messages. Who knows what he’s like when he’s sober. He could be a perfectly pleasant person with normal boundaries or even an extremely anxious or depressed person that would never send messages like this in a million years. You don’t know.

I did not know that! Thanks for adding this.

He noticed that he could no longer see my main social media profile within a day of me blocking him. This makes me think he must be constantly looking at my profile(s).

Since he sent the message to a group chat, I sent a message back and said he is sending far too many messages on far too many platforms, and I can't keep up. I said I blocked him for this reason.

I decided to go all out and be VERY direct when he wrote the group chat that he could not see my profile anymore.

Those of you who talked about substance abuse and how that affects behavior may have hit the nail on the head. Maybe he would not act like a borderline if he was not drunk.

The conclusion is he apologized for sending so many messages and said he would cut it down.

OP

OP I'm thinking you are the one with the personality disorder. Your obsession with whether or not he is "constantly looking" at your SM is embarrassing. Block him everywhere -- not just one place while you publicly engage with him in another -- and move on. The fact that you can't seem to do that says all kinds of things about you, and nothing about him. Stop playing manipulative games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is in what is called “nosediving”. His plane is crashing, he knows it but is too far in the grip of alcoholism and maybe drug addiction to gain control.

His hope is that you will be a parachute or life preserver he can take advantage of so he does not have to go to rehab or AA.

Letting this person into your life would be like allowing drunk squirrels into your home. It might look cute at first until your furniture is chewed up and peed on.

This man has more red flags than a bull fight stadium.

I agree with all of this.

You can’t diagnose anyone with anything if they are actively using. It’s right in the front of the DSM. I’m pretty certain he is drunk when he’s sending you all of these messages. Who knows what he’s like when he’s sober. He could be a perfectly pleasant person with normal boundaries or even an extremely anxious or depressed person that would never send messages like this in a million years. You don’t know.

I did not know that! Thanks for adding this.

He noticed that he could no longer see my main social media profile within a day of me blocking him. This makes me think he must be constantly looking at my profile(s).

Since he sent the message to a group chat, I sent a message back and said he is sending far too many messages on far too many platforms, and I can't keep up. I said I blocked him for this reason.

I decided to go all out and be VERY direct when he wrote the group chat that he could not see my profile anymore.

Those of you who talked about substance abuse and how that affects behavior may have hit the nail on the head. Maybe he would not act like a borderline if he was not drunk.

The conclusion is he apologized for sending so many messages and said he would cut it down.

OP

I’m glad you were direct. That was a good idea, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anxiety?

I think you can be kind but you don't need to reply to posts or texts that don't engage you. That doesn't serve him. He needs to learn that this is socially off-putting.