Is this abuse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child plays on a sports team with another teenager. Fairly high level for this area. The kids love their sport and practice a lot on their own outside of regular practice. There is one kid who seems to be being pushed very hard by their parents. Like telling the kid not to mess up at games, yelling at them when they make mistakes. This is a good kid who is very good at their sport. Is this just what it takes to go D1, or is this abusive? No one has said anything to either the kid or the parents to my knowledge, but it's getting harder to witness and stay out of. I feel like someone needs to stick up for this kid before they breakdown.

Mind your own business

^This. And kind of depends on what someone wants out of life. If your parents being mean to you is the difference between excellence and mediocrity, which would you choose? Max Verstappen the text book case.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=No83kWujuI4

[Anonymous]

On the Patrick O'Sullivan story, he says he wishes one of the parents or coaches in his childhood had had the courage to call the police: https://www.theplayerstribune.com/articles/patrick-osullivan-nhl-abuse?fbclid=IwY2xjawQxNtBleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETFnZ3A3ZHVpSzRmZkRBSGxMc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQQMjIyMDM5MTc4ODIwMDg5MgABHnezEwC5itgeLNMhUCFApBe46jSCps6i4ShsEH3FBK3GwgV3KtFuKqXfoviL_aem_oYrBTAckWvE8tU37bHwCXQ

[Anonymous]

Leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are both parents the problem or only one?

Both

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On the Patrick O'Sullivan story, he says he wishes one of the parents or coaches in his childhood had had the courage to call the police: https://www.theplayerstribune.com/articles/patrick-osullivan-nhl-abuse?fbclid=IwY2xjawQxNtBleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETFnZ3A3ZHVpSzRmZkRBSGxMc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQQMjIyMDM5MTc4ODIwMDg5MgABHnezEwC5itgeLNMhUCFApBe46jSCps6i4ShsEH3FBK3GwgV3KtFuKqXfoviL_aem_oYrBTAckWvE8tU37bHwCXQ

I think it's emotional abuse, not physical FRT. I definitely don't think it's police worthy.

[Anonymous]

Depending on the words used, it could be verbal abuse coupled with emotional abuse. But as someone says, it’s not enough to reach the bar. I’m a mandated reporter and wouldn’t report it- this type of behavior is also fairly common, sadly. The kid might end up going NC one day as a consequence.

[Anonymous]

OP

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Are your kids friends? You don’t have to address the parents, but you can absolutely be a supportive safe place for the kid. A friend’s mom was that for me growing up. Nothing big, but always happy to see me with words of encouragement along the way. Always welcome at their house to hang out, etc.

[Anonymous]

The Coach has the right to ask the parents to not attend practice or games.

You can talk to the coach and have the coach or team manager, require all the parents watch the SidelinProject.Com Have every parent take the pledge.

When 1 parent stands up to yell and criticize their own kid in front of everyone, it affects the whole team.

Likely, when signing up for the program during registration, the parent signed a Code of Conduct. Obviously, they are violating the Code of Conduct.
-This is where the Coach has the right to ask the parents to not attend until they behave. Or else, the kid can be removed from the program.

[Anonymous]

As others have said, if you must raise the issue, talk to the coach. The coach is supposed to have the balls to enforce conduct standards for both the athletes and their parents. If he won't enforce the rules that already prohibit this behavior, maybe it's time to find a new team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child plays on a sports team with another teenager. Fairly high level for this area. The kids love their sport and practice a lot on their own outside of regular practice. There is one kid who seems to be being pushed very hard by their parents. Like telling the kid not to mess up at games, yelling at them when they make mistakes. This is a good kid who is very good at their sport. Is this just what it takes to go D1, or is this abusive? No one has said anything to either the kid or the parents to my knowledge, but it's getting harder to witness and stay out of. I feel like someone needs to stick up for this kid before they breakdown.

If the kid breaks down they are too soft to survive. Our family actually cares about achievement. We don’t let our kids play sports they don’t have the ability to go D1 in. They have to show the ability by age 7 or they don’t play anymore. We have one in swimming and one in baseball. Both are also in academic tutoring.

Do we shame our children for messing up or not winning? Of course we do. It teaches them resilience. My son had a game with a double, a ground out and two strikeouts. I told him I was ashamed to be his father and that I would never speak to him if he ever played like that again. He hit for the cycle the next game.

If he doesn’t get a D1 scholarship, he knows he will never see us again.

Greatness is made through toughness and sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child plays on a sports team with another teenager. Fairly high level for this area. The kids love their sport and practice a lot on their own outside of regular practice. There is one kid who seems to be being pushed very hard by their parents. Like telling the kid not to mess up at games, yelling at them when they make mistakes. This is a good kid who is very good at their sport. Is this just what it takes to go D1, or is this abusive? No one has said anything to either the kid or the parents to my knowledge, but it's getting harder to witness and stay out of. I feel like someone needs to stick up for this kid before they breakdown.

If the kid breaks down they are too soft to survive. Our family actually cares about achievement. We don’t let our kids play sports they don’t have the ability to go D1 in. They have to show the ability by age 7 or they don’t play anymore. We have one in swimming and one in baseball. Both are also in academic tutoring.

Do we shame our children for messing up or not winning? Of course we do. It teaches them resilience. My son had a game with a double, a ground out and two strikeouts. I told him I was ashamed to be his father and that I would never speak to him if he ever played like that again. He hit for the cycle the next game.

If he doesn’t get a D1 scholarship, he knows he will never see us again.

Greatness is made through toughness and sacrifice.

This is not a great troll attempt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child plays on a sports team with another teenager. Fairly high level for this area. The kids love their sport and practice a lot on their own outside of regular practice. There is one kid who seems to be being pushed very hard by their parents. Like telling the kid not to mess up at games, yelling at them when they make mistakes. This is a good kid who is very good at their sport. Is this just what it takes to go D1, or is this abusive? No one has said anything to either the kid or the parents to my knowledge, but it's getting harder to witness and stay out of. I feel like someone needs to stick up for this kid before they breakdown.

If the kid breaks down they are too soft to survive. Our family actually cares about achievement. We don’t let our kids play sports they don’t have the ability to go D1 in. They have to show the ability by age 7 or they don’t play anymore. We have one in swimming and one in baseball. Both are also in academic tutoring.

Do we shame our children for messing up or not winning? Of course we do. It teaches them resilience. My son had a game with a double, a ground out and two strikeouts. I told him I was ashamed to be his father and that I would never speak to him if he ever played like that again. He hit for the cycle the next game.

If he doesn’t get a D1 scholarship, he knows he will never see us again.

Greatness is made through toughness and sacrifice.

I hope this is a joke, but you literally sound like this kid’s parent in my OP. Makes me so sad for the kid and as PP said, I wouldn’t be surprised if they do go NC at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child plays on a sports team with another teenager. Fairly high level for this area. The kids love their sport and practice a lot on their own outside of regular practice. There is one kid who seems to be being pushed very hard by their parents. Like telling the kid not to mess up at games, yelling at them when they make mistakes. This is a good kid who is very good at their sport. Is this just what it takes to go D1, or is this abusive? No one has said anything to either the kid or the parents to my knowledge, but it's getting harder to witness and stay out of. I feel like someone needs to stick up for this kid before they breakdown.

So telling a kid not to mess up and "yelling" at them is abusive? What does yelling even mean, how loud does ones voice need to be to crest into yelling? I'm not going to 100% discount what you are saying as I have seen some overbearing parents, but I have just as often seen parents (usually moms) that have no idea what they are talking about and act like everything is some sort of abuse for little Timmy/Tammy... "oh, its hot outside, we can't practice... oh it might drizzle, do we have to play today?!... the coach said something mean to the team after they had a bad game and pretty much didn't listen/pivot to what the coach was saying" Some people are just soft and raise soft/weak kids. Is this what's going on here, I have no idea, but it has about as much chance of being true as this poor kid getting "abused" by a parent that pushes them and has higher expectations.

[Anonymous]

OP, it’s unusual that you made it this far with a teen athlete without seeing this type of behavior. It usually crops up at the elementary school level. Most parents know that angry soccer dad or the baseball dad trying to capture his own lost dream.

Are you saying it’s ok to treat your kids this way if it leads to them becoming a professional athlete? Would it be ok to yell at your kid in the kitchen to form them into a Michelin starred chef? Yes, many professional athletes were abused by their parents. Se Ri Pak, a pro golfer, spent 17 hours a day on the driving range and was left overnight alone at graveyards because she was afraid of them. Jelena dokic, a tennis pro, was physically and verbally abused by her dad. The list goes on.

I think the question you should ask is, “how many parents abuse their kids over sports”. In the Venn diagram of abuse and going pro, there are plenty of pro athletes who were abused by their parents. But the majority of kids who were bullied do not reach the level of success that their parents envisioned. And given the number of pro athletes who have sued/are estranged from their parents, included the two examples above, I’m not sure if anyone would say an athletic career was worth it.