Schedule shift has me overthinking everything—help me reset our evenings

[Anonymous]

Our schedule issue was a little different but when my DH was working evenings, we did family breakfast. So, there was still a family meal every day.

I would also probably think about having the kids eat dinner early and then have a snack or dessert with Dad when he gets home. I think sitting together to eat and talk is important. Kids can get ready for bed except for teeth, and then sit with the family, and go off to bed after.

[Anonymous]

I would just eat dinner earlier without DH and emphasize family dinners on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Relax and learn flexibility. As long as you have family time you don’t have to do rigid sit down family dinner with all members every night.

Don’t your kids have sports or activities?

We rarely have sit down family dinners during the week. Kids are fine. As someone mentioned, your kids probably won’t even notice and if they do just explain daddy has yo work late on Tuesdays. Life happens. It will be ok.

[Anonymous]

We do early dinners for sports, and my husband rarely eats with us. We do whole family dinners on the weekends, and whenever he can join during the week. It still feels like a family dinner, since we all sit and chat (even without DH).
I agree with others who suggest getting the kids ready for bed before he gets home and then having some time to relax/play until bedtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relax and learn flexibility. As long as you have family time you don’t have to do rigid sit down family dinner with all members every night.

Don’t your kids have sports or activities?

We rarely have sit down family dinners during the week. Kids are fine. As someone mentioned, your kids probably won’t even notice and if they do just explain daddy has yo work late on Tuesdays. Life happens. It will be ok.

+a million.

[Anonymous]

My DH’s schedule and commute always has him getting home around 7. We never wait to eat dinner with him but we made sure he had an integral part of the bedtime routine - bedtime stories. Both the kids and my DH looked forward to that time and it was really special.

Now that the kids are older, we don’t read stories anymore, but he still has a routine of quiet conversation with each child before they go to bed. We find that the quality of the time makes up for the quantity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything moves earlier. The kids eat dinner without him. You give them a bath. When husband comes home, you eat dinner with husband and let the kids be. After dinner, let husband unwind and you put the kids to bed. It’s really not a big deal OP and I’m glad you know you are over thinking this. He will be working a long day and will be tired

Oh poor baby. Maybe wipe his ass too

[Anonymous]

Strange your kids don’t have any activity after school

[Anonymous]

I'd do an early dinner too. They can get ready for bed and then dad can read to them or otherwise hang out with them before bedtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

6 and 8. 8yo is more self sufficient but still needs help. It’s more about the schedule and there only being so many hours in the evening, and not knowing what to do when.

Are there afternoon activities? By those ages my kids had sports after school many nights a week.

You know how much sleep your kids need and if it makes sense to have dinner later in the evening or not. I do think you’re overthinking this. Having both parents home by 5 and nothing in the evenings isn’t the norm with people I know.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 7 and 9 and DH is going through a phase where he is working late most nights. The kids and I still eat at our usual time, 6-630, unless they have a later activity. He's usually home in time to help with the last bit of the bedtime routine and then reheats his dinner. It's not ideal but hoping it will be better in a year or so.

[Anonymous]

you eat without him. It's okay. Lots of parents work shifts and odd hours and lots of families don't eat together every day. Don't leave your kids hungry - that's just going to make for a cranky evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relax and learn flexibility. As long as you have family time you don’t have to do rigid sit down family dinner with all members every night.

Don’t your kids have sports or activities?

We rarely have sit down family dinners during the week. Kids are fine. As someone mentioned, your kids probably won’t even notice and if they do just explain daddy has yo work late on Tuesdays. Life happens. It will be ok.

Having both parents home for 6pm dinner is pretty rare. If you are home by 4, that means you go to work at 7:30? So kids are either a long morning care or your DH drops them off, and usually is home by 5?

Does he work next to school, the timing is incredible. Most parents dropping off kids at 830 could maybe make it home at 6 with a very short commute and rigid 40 hour week.

For most working parents, someone getting home after 6pm dinner time is the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Relax and learn flexibility. As long as you have family time you don’t have to do rigid sit down family dinner with all members every night.

Don’t your kids have sports or activities?

We rarely have sit down family dinners during the week. Kids are fine. As someone mentioned, your kids probably won’t even notice and if they do just explain daddy has yo work late on Tuesdays. Life happens. It will be ok.

Having both parents home for 6pm dinner is pretty rare. If you are home by 4, that means you go to work at 7:30? So kids are either a long morning care or your DH drops them off, and usually is home by 5?

Does he work next to school, the timing is incredible. Most parents dropping off kids at 830 could maybe make it home at 6 with a very short commute and rigid 40 hour week.

For most working parents, someone getting home after 6pm dinner time is the norm.

I hear you, but I don’t think you are right. When I get out of work early and go to pick up my kids at daycare at 4pm, half the kids are already gone. By 5:30, when I usually get there, there are only a few kids still there.

[Anonymous]

Did you both consider the family life tradeoffs? Is it worth the extra money? Because you got a second job here also of managing kids solo 4 days a week. And no, you don’t wait for him. Keep the kids on a routine and I hope this schedule change involved a nice pay bump. If it did, see if there is a neighborhood teen that can help you out some nights.