Schedule shift has me overthinking everything—help me reset our evenings

[Anonymous]

Starting next month, DH’s schedule is shifting a bit. He will still work his normal workday, but four days a week he’ll also be supervising an internship program until 7pm. With his commute, that likely means getting home between 7:15-7:30. (I work until 4pm myself)

In the grand scheme of things, an extra two hours doesn’t sound like a huge change, but it’s making me rethink our entire evening flow. We usually eat dinner around 6–do we now wait? That feels late for the kids, but eating without him every night also feels like a big shift. I realize I may be overthinking this, but I’m struggling to picture what works in practice. Do people in this situation just default to simpler meals that can hold well? (That seems especially tricky heading into summer when I’d rather not have the oven on for long.)

Then there’s the bedtime routine. I typically start that around 7pm, which now overlaps exactly with when he’ll be walking in the door. I’m not sure whether to push everything later, keep things as-is and have him drop into the middle of it (seems chaotic with excitement) or rethink the whole structure.

I think I’m just trying to get a sense of how others would handle this kind of schedule. If your partner were getting home at 7 most nights, what would your evenings look like, especially with younger kids who still need a fair amount of hands-on help?

Would love to hear what’s worked (or hasn’t) for others. What would YOUR evening look like with this schedule?

[Anonymous]

When my kids were little, we did dinner and bath/shower before DH got home. Then when he got home, the kids had dessert or a glass of milk or something at the table while DH ate dinner. His dinner just had to be reheated in the microwave.

I wouldn’t say that this happened every single night, but at least a couple of times a week.

[Anonymous]

Everything moves earlier. The kids eat dinner without him. You give them a bath. When husband comes home, you eat dinner with husband and let the kids be. After dinner, let husband unwind and you put the kids to bed. It’s really not a big deal OP and I’m glad you know you are over thinking this. He will be working a long day and will be tired

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything moves earlier. The kids eat dinner without him. You give them a bath. When husband comes home, you eat dinner with husband and let the kids be. After dinner, let husband unwind and you put the kids to bed. It’s really not a big deal OP and I’m glad you know you are over thinking this. He will be working a long day and will be tired

She will also be doing a lot more work after her regular full work day, with him gone longer.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

6 and 8. 8yo is more self sufficient but still needs help. It’s more about the schedule and there only being so many hours in the evening, and not knowing what to do when.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything moves earlier. The kids eat dinner without him. You give them a bath. When husband comes home, you eat dinner with husband and let the kids be. After dinner, let husband unwind and you put the kids to bed. It’s really not a big deal OP and I’m glad you know you are over thinking this. He will be working a long day and will be tired

MIL, is that you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

6 and 8. 8yo is more self sufficient but still needs help. It’s more about the schedule and there only being so many hours in the evening, and not knowing what to do when.

6 & 8? Evening routine is go to bed.

[Anonymous]

The kids schedule stays the same. You eat dinner with him when he gets home. After the kids are in bed.

[Anonymous]

Don’t change anything for the kids. DH can reheat his dinner. Eat when you want.

-DH

[Anonymous]

Kids are so self absorbed. You will be surprised at how much they do not notice or do not care that their dad isn’t home for dinner.

[Anonymous]

This timing seems terrible. I can see why you want to change it. I hate it when DH gets home in the middle of bedtime routine. It’s really the worst of both worlds. You don’t have an adult around to help with things and to chat with you in the evenings, and then you also don’t get to be alone to do whatever you want after the kids go to bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything moves earlier. The kids eat dinner without him. You give them a bath. When husband comes home, you eat dinner with husband and let the kids be. After dinner, let husband unwind and you put the kids to bed. It’s really not a big deal OP and I’m glad you know you are over thinking this. He will be working a long day and will be tired

[b]MIL, is that you?

[Anonymous]

Does this intern program last for a certain amount of time (till Sept, say) or is it indefinite?

OP, I would think through a fairly loose timetable for a couple of scenarios (see above) and then try each one out for a week or so. You may find that Fri nights can be different from Tues, or nights in summer are different from nights in fall. Also, over time the 6 and 8 YOs become 7 and 9 YOs… the kids’ needs and preferences will change regardless.

Do your kids do any evening activities? Imaging this scenario in my house… the pickup, dropoff, carpool schedule would absolutely play into this as well.

Either way is likely that your kids will not really be significantly impacted.

[Anonymous]

I would eat dinner earlier to be honest, like at 5. I’d eat with the kids cos I’d be starving by 730. If you’re not going anywhere kids can thenget ready for bed earlier as in baths/showers, clothes out for next day etc before he comes home.
If you do dessert they can have dessert with him while he eats dinner.
I’d rotate the bedtimes, everyone is tired in the evening so you do 2 of his nights do he can relax then he does two of the nights so you csn gave a few mins to do what you like too.