Reasonable Amount for Gambling/Betting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Humblebrag again. Let the poor ma spend $1500 once a year if your HHI is so high. Buy yourself new shoes and a handbag or whatever else makes you feel better; I’d buy some tech stocks for the same amount but I am boring. Take a trip somewhere without him haha
I hope all your problems are like this one!

OP here. I actually don't think our income is high enough to blow $1,500 on one night of grown men trying to outbid one another on a college tournament. I'm not saying that he can't participate, I'm just wondering what amount is reasonable. He's not a gambler but he does have other expensive hobbies and I am fine with those. He wants to go on a golf trip, great. I'd much rather him buy tech stocks than this--that I would support. Heck, I would rather him spend $3K going to the actual tournament.

You’re giving controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Humblebrag again. Let the poor ma spend $1500 once a year if your HHI is so high. Buy yourself new shoes and a handbag or whatever else makes you feel better; I’d buy some tech stocks for the same amount but I am boring. Take a trip somewhere without him haha
I hope all your problems are like this one!

OP here. I actually don't think our income is high enough to blow $1,500 on one night of grown men trying to outbid one another on a college tournament. I'm not saying that he can't participate, I'm just wondering what amount is reasonable. He's not a gambler but he does have other expensive hobbies and I am fine with those. He wants to go on a golf trip, great. I'd much rather him buy tech stocks than this--that I would support. Heck, I would rather him spend $3K going to the actual tournament.

Then you need some remediation in the subject of math. Especially given that you would be ok with him spending 3k "going to the actual tournament." This isn't about income and expenses, it's about you wanting to control what he does because you are judging it. Leave him alone.

Op here. You are right--it's not about the amount as much as its about the value of what he spending it on. Which is why I would prefer that he limit the amount to under $1K. I think betting is akin to just flushing money down the toilet. So yes, I am judging. Because I think he's being stupid with our money. And I would never do that.

[Anonymous]

Zero gambling is for fools and idiots.

[Anonymous]

What hobbies other hobbies does he have? What hobbies do you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I disagree so want to see what is "normal". To be clear, DH is not a big gambler--only goes to casinos once every few years and might spend $500. So this is not a constant issue in our relationship.

Once a year, there is a betting circle amongst his friends for the NCAA tournament. Some years he has won, others he has not. So he's probably about even over many years of doing this but when I try to limit the amount, his excuse is, but that one year, I won $3k. Yeah, one year, on a fluke.

I have no problem with him participating in this and am ok with a few hundred dollars (say $600-800). But if it were up to him, he'd spend $1,500 or more. HHI is $300K and we make the same amount.

What amount is reasonable to spend (and potentially lose)? I think gambling is such a waste of money so it could be my personal feelings tainting my view.

How much do they get for the NCAA tournament? We have a family one where we each put in $10. It’s kind of fun and interactive then. I wouldn’t do it if it were $50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Humblebrag again. Let the poor ma spend $1500 once a year if your HHI is so high. Buy yourself new shoes and a handbag or whatever else makes you feel better; I’d buy some tech stocks for the same amount but I am boring. Take a trip somewhere without him haha
I hope all your problems are like this one!

OP here. I actually don't think our income is high enough to blow $1,500 on one night of grown men trying to outbid one another on a college tournament. I'm not saying that he can't participate, I'm just wondering what amount is reasonable. He's not a gambler but he does have other expensive hobbies and I am fine with those. He wants to go on a golf trip, great. I'd much rather him buy tech stocks than this--that I would support. Heck, I would rather him spend $3K going to the actual tournament.

Then you need some remediation in the subject of math. Especially given that you would be ok with him spending 3k "going to the actual tournament." This isn't about income and expenses, it's about you wanting to control what he does because you are judging it. Leave him alone.

OP, I agree with the PP above. This isn't about the money, it's about gambling. Would you rather he not tell you about the gambling? Would that make it easier?

Your play here is to tell him your opinion and make a request. That's it. Beyond that, it doesn't sound like an addiction so you should grant him some grace and space. I understand it's tough to accept since you don't agree with it but why die on this hill?

[Anonymous]

to me it would be zero, and completely non-negotiable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What hobbies other hobbies does he have? What hobbies do you have?

Mostly golf and skiing. Both expensive sports. But I don't care about that--at least he is being active, exercising, getting outside. This is in a different category.

I don't have any really expensive hobbies. I spend a lot of my free time volunteering, reading and running.

[Anonymous]

5% annually of his portion of disposable income if it's his only hobby. 1% if it is not.

[Anonymous]

DH loses about 1500 a year gambling.

He has an app and provides a report so it is very clear on all transactions.

His other hobby is even more stupid and expensive. He builds and paints miniature worlds for HS dungeons and dragons club. He is behind the scenes, not involved in a club that he he spends hundreds of hours on to deliver to the school he only gets email feedback about.

Gambling is not that bad in moderation.

[Anonymous]

Your income is high enough to spend $1500 on a night of entertainment. Now, you may not agree, approve, or care for what he’s choosing to spend his entertainment money on but your family can afford it.

[Anonymous]

As long as it's part of a social thing, it's not terrible. But 48 percent of men under 50 currently have online betting accounts. And many are getting absolutely wrecked and ruining their lives. Online sports betting is really addictive for a lot of people. That's what I would be concerned about. A $1500 loss can spiral into a $150,000 loss in a heartbeat on the gambling apps.

[Anonymous]

You are not going to happily resolve this issue OP. Frankly, this would have been a red flag for me and I would never even fathom being with a gambler. If you are wise, you will divorce now, learn from the relationship mistakes you made, and hopefully find a man without addictions.