Reasonable Amount for Gambling/Betting

[Anonymous]

DH and I disagree so want to see what is "normal". To be clear, DH is not a big gambler--only goes to casinos once every few years and might spend $500. So this is not a constant issue in our relationship.

Once a year, there is a betting circle amongst his friends for the NCAA tournament. Some years he has won, others he has not. So he's probably about even over many years of doing this but when I try to limit the amount, his excuse is, but that one year, I won $3k. Yeah, one year, on a fluke.

I have no problem with him participating in this and am ok with a few hundred dollars (say $600-800). But if it were up to him, he'd spend $1,500 or more. HHI is $300K and we make the same amount.

What amount is reasonable to spend (and potentially lose)? I think gambling is such a waste of money so it could be my personal feelings tainting my view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I disagree so want to see what is "normal". To be clear, DH is not a big gambler--only goes to casinos once every few years and might spend $500. So this is not a constant issue in our relationship.

Once a year, there is a betting circle amongst his friends for the NCAA tournament. Some years he has won, others he has not. So he's probably about even over many years of doing this but when I try to limit the amount, his excuse is, but that one year, I won $3k. Yeah, one year, on a fluke.

I have no problem with him participating in this and am ok with a few hundred dollars (say $600-800). But if it were up to him, he'd spend $1,500 or more. HHI is $300K and we make the same amount.

What amount is reasonable to spend (and potentially lose)? I think gambling is such a waste of money so it could be my personal feelings tainting my view.

No more than $500, and IMO that's about $480 too much,

[Anonymous]

You are 100% in the right.

At least, I assume that’s the internet validation you are seeking give that he’s already abiding by the limit you imposed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I disagree so want to see what is "normal". To be clear, DH is not a big gambler--only goes to casinos once every few years and might spend $500. So this is not a constant issue in our relationship.

Once a year, there is a betting circle amongst his friends for the NCAA tournament. Some years he has won, others he has not. So he's probably about even over many years of doing this but when I try to limit the amount, his excuse is, but that one year, I won $3k. Yeah, one year, on a fluke.

I have no problem with him participating in this and am ok with a few hundred dollars (say $600-800). But if it were up to him, he'd spend $1,500 or more. HHI is $300K and we make the same amount.

What amount is reasonable to spend (and potentially lose)? I think gambling is such a waste of money so it could be my personal feelings tainting my view.

Agreed, gambling is a waste of money.

[Anonymous]

Similar income, DH spends about 2K a year playing poker or doing some kind of friends bet on sports. TBF, most of the time he comes out ahead. I have no issues. We can afford it and I'm sure I spend 2K a year on stuff he thinks is dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Similar income, DH spends about 2K a year playing poker or doing some kind of friends bet on sports. TBF, most of the time he comes out ahead. I have no issues. We can afford it and I'm sure I spend 2K a year on stuff he thinks is dumb.

I should add, he rarely spends money on himself otherwise. We travel a ton as a family or as a couple and he does one, maybe 2 weekends away with friends a year. I do a lot more. Between the 2 of us, I absolutely spend more money on my hobbies so it would feel a bit hypocritical to be annoyed with him over 2K.

[Anonymous]

DH used to be a professional gambler. I don't care how much he gambles, but he limits himself so I don't need to worry about it. He doesn't bet often but when he does it is a decent amount.

[Anonymous]

You should each have spending money to do whatever so it doesn’t matter. He can. Blow it all or some of it. It shouldn’t depend on whether you think it’s of value. Most hobbies have no value except enjoyment.

[Anonymous]

With a HHI of 300k, he should be able to spend up to 1500 on something once a year if it is fun for him.

I think any gambling is stupid, but this seems to be a social thing for him and it is only once a year. It's fine. The 3k win in the past is irrelevant. Gambling should be considered an entertainment expense; either you can afford to lose all of it in that bit of entertainment, or you can't. The chances of coming out ahead are so low that that is an inappropriate consideration, as is having won in the past.

If he were more interested in gambling in general, that would be a different matter/problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With a HHI of 300k, he should be able to spend up to 1500 on something once a year if it is fun for him.

I think any gambling is stupid, but this seems to be a social thing for him and it is only once a year. It's fine. The 3k win in the past is irrelevant. Gambling should be considered an entertainment expense; either you can afford to lose all of it in that bit of entertainment, or you can't. The chances of coming out ahead are so low that that is an inappropriate consideration, as is having won in the past.

If he were more interested in gambling in general, that would be a different matter/problem.

This is how DH and I view it. A couple times a year for fun is fine. Not my thing, but it keeps DH happy

[Anonymous]

It sounds like a social event. He wants to fit in. If they all chip in $1000 or more he wants not to stand out as spouse limited. Think of it as a golf trip.

[Anonymous]

Humblebrag again. Let the poor ma spend $1500 once a year if your HHI is so high. Buy yourself new shoes and a handbag or whatever else makes you feel better; I’d buy some tech stocks for the same amount but I am boring. Take a trip somewhere without him haha
I hope all your problems are like this one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Humblebrag again. Let the poor ma spend $1500 once a year if your HHI is so high. Buy yourself new shoes and a handbag or whatever else makes you feel better; I’d buy some tech stocks for the same amount but I am boring. Take a trip somewhere without him haha
I hope all your problems are like this one!

OP here. I actually don't think our income is high enough to blow $1,500 on one night of grown men trying to outbid one another on a college tournament. I'm not saying that he can't participate, I'm just wondering what amount is reasonable. He's not a gambler but he does have other expensive hobbies and I am fine with those. He wants to go on a golf trip, great. I'd much rather him buy tech stocks than this--that I would support. Heck, I would rather him spend $3K going to the actual tournament.

[Anonymous]

We have a $300K HHI and would consider it absolutely bananas to blow $1500 on one night’s frivolous entertainment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Humblebrag again. Let the poor ma spend $1500 once a year if your HHI is so high. Buy yourself new shoes and a handbag or whatever else makes you feel better; I’d buy some tech stocks for the same amount but I am boring. Take a trip somewhere without him haha
I hope all your problems are like this one!

OP here. I actually don't think our income is high enough to blow $1,500 on one night of grown men trying to outbid one another on a college tournament. I'm not saying that he can't participate, I'm just wondering what amount is reasonable. He's not a gambler but he does have other expensive hobbies and I am fine with those. He wants to go on a golf trip, great. I'd much rather him buy tech stocks than this--that I would support. Heck, I would rather him spend $3K going to the actual tournament.

Then you need some remediation in the subject of math. Especially given that you would be ok with him spending 3k "going to the actual tournament." This isn't about income and expenses, it's about you wanting to control what he does because you are judging it. Leave him alone.