Getting over a great person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You dodged a bullet because if they really loved you they would be fine with not going out most nights.

Or OP was being selfish and the other party dodged a bullet. OP has lived life, already had the opportunity to go out, have children, acquire life experiences. But instead OP glommed on to someone else’s youth but couldn’t actually do the things most people at that age do.

How do you get over it? Realize it was selfish of you to hold on when you were going to deny this person you claimed to care about age-appropriate experiences. Find people in your stage of life rather focusing on the young, shiny, and beautiful.

[Anonymous]

What were areas not being met and how come you couldn't work it out? Good people are hard to come by these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What were areas not being met and how come you couldn't work it out? Good people are hard to come by these days.

A big part of it was time. Between work and kids, I don’t have much. So they felt neglected, while I felt smothered with the daily phone calls and requests to spend time together.

I also knew they’d miss out on a lot of meaningful milestones: getting married, buying a house, having kids, etc.

What concerned me was they had started talking about giving up their dream career to stay with me (would have required them to move away). I can’t let someone do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What were areas not being met and how come you couldn't work it out? Good people are hard to come by these days.

A big part of it was time. Between work and kids, I don’t have much. So they felt neglected, while I felt smothered with the daily phone calls and requests to spend time together.

I also knew they’d miss out on a lot of meaningful milestones: getting married, buying a house, having kids, etc.

What concerned me was they had started talking about giving up their dream career to stay with me (would have required them to move away). I can’t let someone do that.

I've heard this said before....
If they wanted to, they would.
Meaning...if you wanted to make time for them even if you are busy with work and kids, you would. But you didn't.

It seems like you love this person a lot.

Why didn't you make more time for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Calling a person "they" is so strange. Improper English grammar.

I don't think you know as much about "English grammar" as you think you do.

-- someone with a graduate degree in English

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What were areas not being met and how come you couldn't work it out? Good people are hard to come by these days.

A big part of it was time. Between work and kids, I don’t have much. So they felt neglected, while I felt smothered with the daily phone calls and requests to spend time together.

I also knew they’d miss out on a lot of meaningful milestones: getting married, buying a house, having kids, etc.

What concerned me was they had started talking about giving up their dream career to stay with me (would have required them to move away). I can’t let someone do that.

I've heard this said before....
If they wanted to, they would.
Meaning...if you wanted to make time for them even if you are busy with work and kids, you would. But you didn't.

It seems like you love this person a lot.

Why didn't you make more time for them?

There really just isn't the time. I have primary custody of my kids. Weekdays are tough, and weekends I have to clean, do yard work, get ready for the week, etc. I can handle seeing someone 2, maybe 3 times a week. It's just not realistic for me to see someone daily and talk with them on the phone for an hour every night. Also hard for me to do the super late nights and weekend travel.