15yo DD w/ASD – Meltdowns at Home and in Public

[Anonymous]

Pick her up and carry her out when she does it in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pick her up and carry her out when she does it in public.

Good luck carrying around a 15 year old. This is why everyone is suggesting medication/medication change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone really find the “motivation” for this type of behavior? My kid never opens up with a therapist, she deems everything too private. Which easily could be code for she didn’t know herself, so throws that out there.

Inflexibility, anxiety, overwhelm, difficulty with transitions, sensory overload.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone really find the “motivation” for this type of behavior? My kid never opens up with a therapist, she deems everything too private. Which easily could be code for she didn’t know herself, so throws that out there.

Deflection.

The kid believes it’s easier or in high standing to be argumentative than to address the actual weakness or issue (anxiety, confused, shutdown mode, overwhelm, forgot to do something, failed at something).

[Anonymous]

Deflection is a maladaptive cope.

She needs to work with a therapist who understands her underlying diagnoses to create positive copes. Then she needs to do those instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick her up and carry her out when she does it in public.

Good luck carrying around a 15 year old. This is why everyone is suggesting medication/medication change.

Obviously if it’s possible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone really find the “motivation” for this type of behavior? My kid never opens up with a therapist, she deems everything too private. Which easily could be code for she didn’t know herself, so throws that out there.

Deflection.

The kid believes it’s easier or in high standing to be argumentative than to address the actual weakness or issue (anxiety, confused, shutdown mode, overwhelm, forgot to do something, failed at something).

I would say that the kid does not have the skills and perhaps awareness to address the actual issue. She isn’t choosing this.

[Anonymous]

I would stop taking her to restaurants or stores for the time being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone really find the “motivation” for this type of behavior? My kid never opens up with a therapist, she deems everything too private. Which easily could be code for she didn’t know herself, so throws that out there.

Deflection.

The kid believes it’s easier or in high standing to be argumentative than to address the actual weakness or issue (anxiety, confused, shutdown mode, overwhelm, forgot to do something, failed at something).

I would say that the kid does not have the skills and perhaps awareness to address the actual issue. She isn’t choosing this.

That’s the thing. She’d rather temper tantrum than go through the discomfort of mom or doctors or others addressing the actual issue.

Right now no one knows what the actual issue is. A psychologist needs to be walked through these episodes and through the lens of the child’s diagnoses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stop taking her to restaurants or stores for the time being.

Agree... if the only way to stop the behavior is to stay home, then she stays home. It sounds like she has meltdowns in public and you are trying to negotiate your way out of them, and it isn't working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stop taking her to restaurants or stores for the time being.

Agree... if the only way to stop the behavior is to stay home, then she stays home. It sounds like she has meltdowns in public and you are trying to negotiate your way out of them, and it isn't working.

Yes. Accommodate the dysfunction. Pretty soon you and she won’t be doing anything out or inside the house.

Temper tantrum = get your way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stop taking her to restaurants or stores for the time being.

Agree... if the only way to stop the behavior is to stay home, then she stays home. It sounds like she has meltdowns in public and you are trying to negotiate your way out of them, and it isn't working.

Yes. Accommodate the dysfunction. Pretty soon you and she won’t be doing anything out or inside the house.

Temper tantrum = get your way.

She doesn't want to stay home. That's the point. She wants to go to these places and then refuses to leave.