15yo DD w/ASD – Meltdowns at Home and in Public
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Anonymous
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DD is 15, diagnosed at 7, also with Inattentive ADHD. She has significant meltdowns at home, sometimes in public, and now at school. The meltdowns involve yelling, screaming, and hitting. At home she may throw things. In public, she may yell, refuse to leave, stay seated, or sit on the floor and not move. Example: we went to brunch last weekend. She loved the restaurant and wanted to stay longer. We gave reminders that we’d be leaving at closing and did stay until they were closing, cause she loved it so much, even she wasn’t happy about going there at first. When it was actually time to go, she refused to leave and it escalated while staff were trying to shut down. She remained sated and would not get up despite repeated prompts. Eventually she calmed down enough to walk out. Another time in a store, she refused to leave and we ended up staying an extra 30 minutes until she settled. It’s really disruptive when she refuses to leave public places — what can we do in these situations? More concerning, she recently had a meltdown at school and damaged her chair at school. We preview plans, give countdowns, and practice coping tools, but in the moment she can’t access them. We’ve tried a lot over the years, including different medications, but none seem to help. We’re looking for strategies that actually work for a teen with ASD1 who has meltdowns that can turn physical or disruptive. For parents of kids with similar issues - *Did it improve with age? *What actually helps (therapy type, meds, parent training, specific programs)? |
Anonymous
| Clonidine. |
Anonymous
| Maybe ABA could help with this. Also sounds like some anxiety is in play. |
Anonymous
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I guess seek more professional help. Ignoring it never makes it go away
My 12 yo like this also refuses to shower after exercise or wash her hair when it’s greasy. She’d rather argue that it’s all fine. I cannot help her. |
Anonymous
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My MiL quit her job to take care of two Aspergers boys. But also could not “control” them - ie hygiene, weight, participating in school things.
One’s a smart successful professional but abusive tempering person, other is a kind depressed failure to launch with no job. |
Anonymous
| This sounds like more than ASD-1. |
Anonymous
| ABA or a behavioral therapist skilled in autism. This sounds more serious than HFA and possibly requires medication. |
Anonymous
| Have they looked into bipolar I or II? It can be comorbid with asd I. |
Anonymous
Therapy for sure. You need someone to help you structure the activity and have a plan to get out of it. That person also needs to help you determine the motivation for the behavior. You don’t want the tantrums to become more regular and self reinforcing. Never just wait for children to grow out of something. It’s wishful thinking that can get your family into a far worse place. |
Anonymous
| Can anyone really find the “motivation” for this type of behavior? My kid never opens up with a therapist, she deems everything too private. Which easily could be code for she didn’t know herself, so throws that out there. |
Anonymous
Therapy is behavioral, for the parents. |
Anonymous
| This doesn't sound like asd to me, either. Can she not understand that the employees need to go home, even after it's been explained? |
Anonymous
If she’s in shutdown mode she won’t understand anything. No getting through. |
Anonymous
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What medication is she on? It sounds like she needs to adjust or change it.
Prozac was a huge help to my ASD child who had OCD issues. |
Anonymous
It's more that the expectations can't even be managed in advance that makes me wonder if something else is going on. |