Belle Burden's "Strangers" -- why is old money-obsessed DCUM not aflame with discussion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm almost done. I've kept reading because she is a very good writer, but the whole generational wealth thing, with the very odd and difficult to relate to cultural aspects are really privileged. It feels like she should have just kept this as a diary.

As good of a writer as she is, I had a hard time sympathisizing. She's privileged.
I feel sorry for the kids as not only did he up and leave, he didn't want them.

Same reason I have not read it. At first I thought I might enjoy a gossipy tell all story, but I just don’t feel like reading about her privileged life and current heartbreak. May change my mind in the future.

[Anonymous]

I flew through this book. I found it completely riveting. There is a ton of anti-rich sentiment out there, all for good reasons, so I can understand how people won’t feel sympathetic.

That said, it’s extremely well written. I particularly related when she wrote about the loneliness she felt post-divorce. When there is a death or divorce, your identity is gone. You were part of a family, but now you’re no longer a wife and no longer have your companion and best friend. Your spouse gives you something to latch on to.

She wrote about this quite well. It’s a universal feeling, being adrift when your companion is gone.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s unfair to suggest that someone who comes from privilege cannot or should not suffer from disappointment. We all love, and it hurts to feel rejected (no matter how much money you have).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s unfair to suggest that someone who comes from privilege cannot or should not suffer from disappointment. We all love, and it hurts to feel rejected (no matter how much money you have).

Further to this, I think she wrote to book to prove she was much more than her marriage — she’s a writer, which was something she was told she was NOT when she was younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I flew through this book. I found it completely riveting. There is a ton of anti-rich sentiment out there, all for good reasons, so I can understand how people won’t feel sympathetic.

That said, it’s extremely well written. I particularly related when she wrote about the loneliness she felt post-divorce. When there is a death or divorce, your identity is gone. You were part of a family, but now you’re no longer a wife and no longer have your companion and best friend. Your spouse gives you something to latch on to.

She wrote about this quite well. It’s a universal feeling, being adrift when your companion is gone.

I have about 30 pages left and also found it riveting, in part because she is so rich. The private beach key, the country club where only one partner in a divorce gets to stay and the other one has to reapply in three years...the housing. It was fascinating.

Also for someone so rich she makes a lot of major money mistakes in the marriage. She is pretty self-aware of all of this which made her a likeable narrator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I flew through this book. I found it completely riveting. There is a ton of anti-rich sentiment out there, all for good reasons, so I can understand how people won’t feel sympathetic.

That said, it’s extremely well written. I particularly related when she wrote about the loneliness she felt post-divorce. When there is a death or divorce, your identity is gone. You were part of a family, but now you’re no longer a wife and no longer have your companion and best friend. Your spouse gives you something to latch on to.

She wrote about this quite well. It’s a universal feeling, being adrift when your companion is gone.

I have about 30 pages left and also found it riveting, in part because she is so rich. The private beach key, the country club where only one partner in a divorce gets to stay and the other one has to reapply in three years...the housing. It was fascinating.

Also for someone so rich she makes a lot of major money mistakes in the marriage. She is pretty self-aware of all of this which made her a likeable narrator.

I think those things are due to being Babe Paley's granddaughter/Amanda Burden's daughter (mom's side) and Vanderbilt on her dad's side. Money helps facilitate but her lineage is what got her in. And why he married her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I flew through this book. I found it completely riveting. There is a ton of anti-rich sentiment out there, all for good reasons, so I can understand how people won’t feel sympathetic.

That said, it’s extremely well written. I particularly related when she wrote about the loneliness she felt post-divorce. When there is a death or divorce, your identity is gone. You were part of a family, but now you’re no longer a wife and no longer have your companion and best friend. Your spouse gives you something to latch on to.

She wrote about this quite well. It’s a universal feeling, being adrift when your companion is gone.

I have about 30 pages left and also found it riveting, in part because she is so rich. The private beach key, the country club where only one partner in a divorce gets to stay and the other one has to reapply in three years...the housing. It was fascinating.

Also for someone so rich she makes a lot of major money mistakes in the marriage. She is pretty self-aware of all of this which made her a likeable narrator.

Agree, she makes a ton of make mistakes.
I felt like shouting NO! Don’t do that!

It’s a lesson for all women and 100% a worthwhile read.

[Anonymous]

Just read that one of the streaming services (I'm thinking Netflix?) bought the rights and that they're going to have Gwyneth Paltrow play her. Thinking about it in retrospect, didn't she spend summers on Cape Cod and he stayed in the city, so maybe he was NEVER that into her? Maybe he always had a secret life? Yeah, to me the weirdest part was that he didn't want any kind of formal custody of the kids -- and I felt like the book was just getting really interesting when it ended. I wanted to know what their life was like a few years from now -- does he have a girlfriend? Does he even bother showing up at the kids' weddings? College drop off? What do the kids end up thinking about him as an adult?

we are nowhere near that wealthy but one of my kids' friends has a father who didn't bother showing up at her wedding, so I guess I have just been thinking about how all this looks going forward. "no thanks, I don't need to meet my grandchild. Not interested. I'm good." Weird!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is under Relationship Discussion, not Book Club.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1309617.page

+1 Learn to read OP and use the search function of DCUM before posting accusation.

Ouch.

Why the nasty tone?

And why interpret OP’s question as an “accusation”?

People on this board tend to be kind and give each other the benefit of the doubt. It’s a nice place. 😊

Lol no they don't!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just read that one of the streaming services (I'm thinking Netflix?) bought the rights and that they're going to have Gwyneth Paltrow play her. Thinking about it in retrospect, didn't she spend summers on Cape Cod and he stayed in the city, so maybe he was NEVER that into her? Maybe he always had a secret life? Yeah, to me the weirdest part was that he didn't want any kind of formal custody of the kids -- and I felt like the book was just getting really interesting when it ended. I wanted to know what their life was like a few years from now -- does he have a girlfriend? Does he even bother showing up at the kids' weddings? College drop off? What do the kids end up thinking about him as an adult?

we are nowhere near that wealthy but one of my kids' friends has a father who didn't bother showing up at her wedding, so I guess I have just been thinking about how all this looks going forward. "no thanks, I don't need to meet my grandchild. Not interested. I'm good." Weird!

Men sticking around the city for work is because Americans, even rich ones, tend not to have a lot of vacation and also not to use all of what they have.

Men also have been getting into trouble while their wife was at the summer home since forever. Like in "Hamilton".

[Anonymous]

I read the NYT article and have no interest in reading the book. Of course Gwyneth Paltrow will play BB in the series. More quiet luxury porn for those who grieve the end of Love Story (the JFK, Jr. -CBK series; not the Ali McGraw-Ryan O'Neal movie).

[Anonymous]

Just read it, and came here to see if a discussion had begun.

I found it fascinating ... mostly because there seemed to be a few red flags, but even still, she defends her ex to a certain degree. Like, she says he's kind and good with the kids when it sounds like he has seen them once a week at most ever since the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Paltrow is WAY too old to play the lead.

[Anonymous]

Not surprised her husband left. She’s vapid and obsessed with clubs, private schools and her family lineage. The details made for an interesting read but also demonstrated to me why he got tired of her. I’ve known some women who live in her orbit and their entire existence revolves around money and lifestyle. It’s boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not surprised her husband left. She’s vapid and obsessed with clubs, private schools and her family lineage. The details made for an interesting read but also demonstrated to me why he got tired of her. I’ve known some women who live in her orbit and their entire existence revolves around money and lifestyle. It’s boring.

+1 I was surprised to hear her say in an interview there were zero signs. I don't think she's the sharpest tool in the shed because how on earth can there be no signs your husband is capable of something like this? I think her extremely privileged life and all the years she spent at home made her naive.