If a teacher asks if my child is an only child (they are) what could they have noticed in the classroo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes only children have trouble waiting for take turns or waiting for adult assistance.

I've found the opposite to be true, especially in early elementary. The most patient, rule-following kids in my classrooms are often only child girls.

Only children do tend to have more trouble with unfairness and minor conflict. So like with waiting for turns, the only child will often wait patiently but if another kid interrupts during her turn, she's more apt to get very upset. Just used to being in situations with adults who already have manners and aren't as rambunctious as many kids are.

Only children tend to behave in a more mature way because they are used to adult environments. Also tend to be independent because they often have to entertain themselves. They can struggle with peer relationships and are often more likely to complain to an adult about interpersonal conflict. That's often where they need to build resilience.

This sounds like my only child girl for sure. We had to tell her when she was little that's you can't wait your turn after a piñata breaks.

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher, and here are some reasons I might have asked this question

1) Your kid is awesome, and you are great to work with I’d love to request a little sibling be placed with me. But since neither your or the kid has mentioned one I am guessing that won’t work. Can’t hurt to ask.

2) There is some downtime. Maybe you are chaperoning a trip and we are seated together on the bus. I am making polite conversation and since your kid has never mentioned a sibling so I am guessing no.

3) Your kid has been telling me absolutely insane stories about their brother or sister and I am 99% sure it’s their imagination but just in case, I’m asking before I praise their creativity.

[Anonymous]

Don't kids draw pictures of their families and write about them in school? She was probably just confirming that your daughter is an only child, as she had written about or drawn in class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes only children have trouble waiting for take turns or waiting for adult assistance.

I've found the opposite to be true, especially in early elementary. The most patient, rule-following kids in my classrooms are often only child girls.

Only children do tend to have more trouble with unfairness and minor conflict. So like with waiting for turns, the only child will often wait patiently but if another kid interrupts during her turn, she's more apt to get very upset. Just used to being in situations with adults who already have manners and aren't as rambunctious as many kids are.

Only children tend to behave in a more mature way because they are used to adult environments. Also tend to be independent because they often have to entertain themselves. They can struggle with peer relationships and are often more likely to complain to an adult about interpersonal conflict. That's often where they need to build resilience.

OP here - this totally tracks with my kid lol

We do try to step back when there are peer conflicts during social situations and let DC sort it out for themselves but of course there is just less exposure to that than if they had a sibling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my kids I have heard the opposite. They say that they can always tell an only as they can't share and think everything revolves around them particularly the teachers attention. I have never heard that they are more patient! Usually the opposite. I do agree that they can be better at adult interactions - sometimes more independent. Sometimes having siblings drives kids to want to have their own time and thing.

LOL. We had an early elementary teacher tell us that only children are often better at sharing and more generous. They don't have to compete for attention or resources at home, they aren't forced to share, and so they are often more willing to do so with friends and classmates.Obviously all generalizations have exceptions; kids' personalities aren't determined by birth order

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my kids I have heard the opposite. They say that they can always tell an only as they can't share and think everything revolves around them particularly the teachers attention. I have never heard that they are more patient! Usually the opposite. I do agree that they can be better at adult interactions - sometimes more independent. Sometimes having siblings drives kids to want to have their own time and thing.

This is the opposite of what I’ve observed as a teacher. Only children are often more patient and willing to share. It’s the kids from larger families who are clamoring for individual attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't kids draw pictures of their families and write about them in school? She was probably just confirming that your daughter is an only child, as she had written about or drawn in class.

Exactly.

As a teacher do I see some patterns? Yes, there are things that kids with or without siblings might be more likely to do. But they certainly don't apply to every kid.

But in early elementary, far and away the most common thing that kids with siblings do, that kids without siblings don't do, is talk about their siblings, followed by writing or drawing about their siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't kids draw pictures of their families and write about them in school? She was probably just confirming that your daughter is an only child, as she had written about or drawn in class.

As a teacher, I 100% think it is this. We just want to know if your kid is leaving out half the family or not. It helps us know if she is including all the details in her work, or just rushing through the drawing to get to the next part.

[Anonymous]

Selfish, doesn't share.

[Anonymous]

Both as a child and as an adult, people mistook me for an only child. I’m actually the oldest daughter of six kids and also spent my ES years in a multi-gen household with six first cousins.
The stereotypes are really rampant in our culture, but the teacher might have been told by your child or they don’t see any siblings in the district portal.
And like another poster said, if a seven year old arrives every day well-groomed, I’d assume the parent only had one kid under 12 to attend to. I was still braiding hair for my 11 year olds on PE daysz

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher, and here are some reasons I might have asked this question

1) Your kid is awesome, and you are great to work with I’d love to request a little sibling be placed with me. But since neither your or the kid has mentioned one I am guessing that won’t work. Can’t hurt to ask.

2) There is some downtime. Maybe you are chaperoning a trip and we are seated together on the bus. I am making polite conversation and since your kid has never mentioned a sibling so I am guessing no.

3) Your kid has been telling me absolutely insane stories about their brother or sister and I am 99% sure it’s their imagination but just in case, I’m asking before I praise their creativity.

This tracks. It can be a whole slew of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your kid drew this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my kids I have heard the opposite. They say that they can always tell an only as they can't share and think everything revolves around them particularly the teachers attention. I have never heard that they are more patient! Usually the opposite. I do agree that they can be better at adult interactions - sometimes more independent. Sometimes having siblings drives kids to want to have their own time and thing.

I also think it's this. When I hear adults ask other adults if they were an only child, seldom has it been a compliment.....lol

OP, it can be any of the above mentioned. Only the teacher knows why he/she asked that question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes only children have trouble waiting for take turns or waiting for adult assistance.

I've found the opposite to be true, especially in early elementary. The most patient, rule-following kids in my classrooms are often only child girls.

Only children do tend to have more trouble with unfairness and minor conflict. So like with waiting for turns, the only child will often wait patiently but if another kid interrupts during her turn, she's more apt to get very upset. Just used to being in situations with adults who already have manners and aren't as rambunctious as many kids are.

Only children tend to behave in a more mature way because they are used to adult environments. Also tend to be independent because they often have to entertain themselves. They can struggle with peer relationships and are often more likely to complain to an adult about interpersonal conflict. That's often where they need to build resilience.

Very insightful, and it matches what I experienced as a child.

Same for me too. I ended up having a sibling much later on, but I was an only child for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Your child can't share, can't take turns, and wants everything done her way.