What Good Are Restraining Orders ?

Anonymous
I read something recently, something like restraining orders are the police telling men "Better luck killing her next time". They don't do shit.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would move out of there yesterday!


This!!! I know you shouldn't have to move and he is the one breaking the law, but your safety is way more important than being right.


+1. Please move asap. My SIL was killed with an active restraining order against her ex. Hopefully he is not stalking you. Check your car for tracking devices.


Wow....
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would move out of there yesterday!


This!!! I know you shouldn't have to move and he is the one breaking the law, but your safety is way more important than being right.


Yeah, this sucks but you have to move. I say that as someone who had a stalker and a restraining order. Not only move, but basically disappear to the extent possible.
Anonymous
Restraining order, or peace/protective orders where I am, make it clear that the served party isn't to contact you at all. They're also only good for 6 months (peace) or a year (protective). Violation is an arrestable offense.

Have the police escort you to the laundry room, mailroom, etc., if need be. They'll get sick of hearing from you and will take it out on the offender. Ask me how I know...
Anonymous
You need a lawyer nof the police. He needs to be take to court for violating the order.
Anonymous
Where are you located? In Montgomery County, you can file citizen generated charges at the Commissioner's office.
Anonymous
If you are in Virginia you can go to the Magistrates office and request a criminal charge for violating a protective order. Bring the order and any proof with you
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Restraining order, or peace/protective orders where I am, make it clear that the served party isn't to contact you at all. They're also only good for 6 months (peace) or a year (protective). Violation is an arrestable offense.

Have the police escort you to the laundry room, mailroom, etc., if need be. They'll get sick of hearing from you and will take it out on the offender. Ask me how I know...


If they even come. Ours won't unless the offender is there and you are in fear of your life.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You need a lawyer nof the police. He needs to be take to court for violating the order.


+1
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would move out of there yesterday!


This!!! I know you shouldn't have to move and he is the one breaking the law, but your safety is way more important than being right.


+1. Please move asap. My SIL was killed with an active restraining order against her ex. Hopefully he is not stalking you. Check your car for tracking devices.


Wow....


The cops told her to call 911 when he showed up. She did, twice. Then he broke in and killed her. The cops said he could destroy their house because he owned it too. OP lives in the same building.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I read something recently, something like restraining orders are the police telling men "Better luck killing her next time". They don't do shit.


+1. The male cops identify more with the male offender than the female victim.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You need a lawyer nof the police. He needs to be take to court for violating the order.


Does he respect the law? Doesn't sound like it. With these guys, it's about control. The TRO just infuriates them.
Anonymous
OP, take this Danger Assessment test: https://www.dangerassessment.org/

It will tell you how much risk you are at and give you instructions and resources.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I assume the order says he can't come near your condo. It doesn't say he can't check his mail.


The issue is not that the guy is at the mailbox checking his mail.

When someone has a restraining order against them, they are in clear violation of that order if they initiate contact with the person who has it against them.

So initiating a conversation with the victim is a clear violation of the order.

As most agree here - restraining orders are really useless since the law is soft when it comes to authorities enforcing it in the end.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You need a lawyer nof the police. He needs to be take to court for violating the order.


Does he respect the law? Doesn't sound like it. With these guys, it's about control. The TRO just infuriates them.


Guys violating court orders don't make judges very happy. They sometimes tell guys with guns to go put the tough guys in jail.
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