I realize I’m kind of a boring stuffy person
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Anonymous
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Resting B__ Face. DCUM won't let me post the word.
Don't have it. To not have it, you have to practically, consciously, remember to slightly smile in order to project a neutral facial expression and not have a sour expression. |
Anonymous
| Op, you just need better radar to find/know what personalities of others are a match for you. That's on you to ponder, reflect. And then initiate. |
Anonymous
| Following since I have a similar profile to OP. |
Anonymous
Op curious what prompted this post? Did something happen to make you feel that way? A specific event or outing? Personally I find some of the people making fake witty comments to be fake and they are way too familiar with the DC social scene. A few grew up here and spend their life at cocktail parties making fake small talk. No deep or genuine conversations. My advice to you is avoid cocktail parties - those are not designed for you. You would be better at a sit down situation where you are in a small group talking whether dinners or gatherings where once is able to sit and have a conversation. I was at sit down event last night and I had much better conversations in that setting than at a cocktail event I was at over the weekend. |
Anonymous
| At least you are self-aware. You don't have to entertain anyone. |
Anonymous
NP. I am like you. Does anything non-intellectual interest you? Nature, exercise, helping kids? It might be helpful to be less in one’s head. |
Anonymous
| I'm one of those witty, bantering extroverts and I find intense, intellectual people really interesting, as long as they aren't depressing or unkind. So if this is your thing, just know that you won't be everyone's cup of tea but that's ok. You don't have to be. |
Anonymous
I think you mean Dale Carnegie. |
Anonymous
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Intense, intellectual and analytical are not problems.
Guardedness is a problem as connection literally happens through vulnerability. If you don’t let people see you, they can’t know you. If they can’t know you, they can’t connect with you. It also signals that maybe you’re not a safe person to be vulnerable with. Vulnerability is scary, but try it. Start small. Maybe one embarrassing thing that happened that morning. |
Anonymous
| Entertainers need an audience. |
Anonymous
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Change your ways.
You have admitted that you are boring ➕ stuffy. 👏🏽 Congratulations…..not many people take that first step. Acknowledgement is no.#1. |
Anonymous
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OP, I am too. I’m good with it but I often wonder how these people can think so creatively so fast. It’s a skill I’d love to have.
I’m a bookish nerd who loves to travel but can homebody for days as well. I’ve come to realize conversation exhausts me but it fuels others. I’m had a rough childhood and can get stuck inside my head analyzing what I said and wondering if ppl like me. Most of the time, I’d rather avoid. |
Anonymous
| Me too OP. I do try to ask questions but I was raised that asking a lot of questions is nosy / busy-body behavior so it makes me feel awkward. I love when I find a long talker! |
Anonymous
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Many quiet people are adored. For example, many people love their quiet therapist. To understand why, you can try an easy therapy technique: parrot people back to themselves. If they tell a story about a wonderful dinner, you can say, “That dinner does sound wonderful.” It makes them feel understood. It encourages them to open up even more.
If you do it a lot, eventually you’ll see it’s not always fun being the one sought out. Usually people are seeking you out because you give them something, like listening or care or understanding or, as you observe, fun or laughter. Small talk that settles into relationships are two people who seek each other out. It’s reciprocal. People might not dislike you at all. They might just not be getting much from you. |
Anonymous
lol. I was talking to niece about Carnegie Mellon … oops! |