How often should we be winning against our kids?

[Anonymous]

When my kid challenges me to a running race, I shove him down to the ground and kick it in to turbo speed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What an odd way to frame normal games with your kids...

You just play. You don't need to keep score. My goodness.

Yes- And give them a participation trophy at the end!

Wrong! This is a helpful way to let kids learn how to lose and win. The real world does keep score and they need to learn how to deal with losing.

[Anonymous]

I have played chess with my son every single day for 14 years, since he turned 7. He has never beaten me once.

He has threatened to quit once or twice, but I use the power of the purse to keep him playing.

In my view, an even more important lesson than learning how to play chess, is learning how to lose. It is a lesson I hope to learn myself one day, but one which, so far, I have not had to.

[Anonymous]

When I was a kid, and learning to play things like Scrabble with my dad and grandmother, I'm SURE they both took it easy on me, but also helped me when it was my turn. I never won, but I learned all their tricks and strategies and eventually started to beat them as an adult. I do the same with my kids, particularly in games that require intellect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my kid challenges me to a running race, I shove him down to the ground and kick it in to turbo speed

Just like Joan Crawford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an odd way to frame normal games with your kids...

You just play. You don't need to keep score. My goodness.

Yes- And give them a participation trophy at the end!

Wrong! This is a helpful way to let kids learn how to lose and win. The real world does keep score and they need to learn how to deal with losing.

Yes - 100%. They need to learn to lose gracefully, but also to see how someone wins gracefully. Bonus if you can encourage your older kids to play with younger siblings and show the same grace. It's an important lesson for life.

[Anonymous]

If they are old enough to know you are letting them win, you don't need to let them win. I'll take on a handicap in something like shooting baskets (they are playing HORSE while I'm playing PIG) or tell them when they are are about to do something dumb in a game like Connect 4. I won't outright let them win.

[Anonymous]

I ask my kids, “do they want me to go easy against them, go hard/as much as I can compete even as an adult, or ‘medium.’”

For a while they choose medium, sometimes easy

When they start winning on their own, I warn them that I will actually compete a lot harder from now on.

Kids are 14,11,8, so we’ve been through the whole set of choices with our older two.

8 is almost old enough to compete readily and then we can be done with letting them win at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't you give yourself a handicap or like you start further from the mailbox or you have to go multiple times to beat him, or use non-dominant hand like PP said. Or each basket he gets is worth 5 points and yours are worth one point, whatever makes each of you win half the time. Define the game differently but actually complete at the redefined game.

Well for example my toddler wants to start the race with me. I just feel horrible though because I can walk faster than our fastest run, and it’s pretty easy for me to accidentally pass her up unless I kept reminding myself to deliberately go much slower. I have tried to start farther away but she wants us to start off together.

Is this a joke? This is so weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have played chess with my son every single day for 14 years, since he turned 7. He has never beaten me once.

He has threatened to quit once or twice, but I use the power of the purse to keep him playing.

In my view, an even more important lesson than learning how to play chess, is learning how to lose. It is a lesson I hope to learn myself one day, but one which, so far, I have not had to.

Good job raising a kid who wasted their time babysitting you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What an odd way to frame normal games with your kids...

You just play. You don't need to keep score. My goodness.

Yes- And give them a participation trophy at the end!

Wrong! This is a helpful way to let kids learn how to lose and win. The real world does keep score and they need to learn how to deal with losing.

I bet everyone cheats when they play against you.

Nothing says low class than constantly worrying about proving you're better than someone at something no one cares about.

[Anonymous]

If racing, try to run backwards or hope on one foot or something.

[Anonymous]

Our family is kind of stupidly competitive about the dumbest things and it’s mostly really fun (even for the losers). I have three boys and the oldest cannot “let” a younger brother beat him. It’s so funny. He will set out to obviously let one of them win but at the last second, he just can’t hold back.

[Anonymous]

With the toddle race, you can just act like the Nationals Presidents Race and have an unexpected fall or distraction that keeps you from winning - plus that makes it more fun and funny