When you say you’ll pray for someone, do you think you’re doing enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question. We have a child who is in a life threatening health situation. My spouse’s family, who is local and always busy helping my spouse’s siblings and their kids, told us recently that they’d pray for us as we packed up to go to the hospital. Not, we will meet you there, we will cook for you, we will see you back home to help things get situated. Just prayers and social media posts.

I’m so angry and disgusted. We’ve asked for support so many times, and thought that a valid thing to ask since our child is just a little tiny human that needs a community, and because my spouse’s family drops everything for their other grand kids. How can you call yourself religious or Christian and do this? No, they don’t owe us anything. But really, if you can’t offer love in a life and death situation, what’s it all for? Help me understand. I don’t want your prayers.

Are you religious? Or of the same religion as your in-laws? If not, maybe that's the reason why they are only praying for you and not offering the concrete assistance that you need. Also, try being specific. Tell them exactly what you need from them.

+1
This should be in Family Relationships; not Religion. I know you posted here to get inside the heads of selfish "Christians" who offer prayer and nothing else according to the teachings of Jesus, but it's clearly useless and will only make you more angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your question is why are some religious people thoughtless? Because they are people.

Correct -- and religion gives them a way to say they're doing something when they're really not doing anything helpful at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question. We have a child who is in a life threatening health situation. My spouse’s family, who is local and always busy helping my spouse’s siblings and their kids, told us recently that they’d pray for us as we packed up to go to the hospital. Not, we will meet you there, we will cook for you, we will see you back home to help things get situated. Just prayers and social media posts.

I’m so angry and disgusted. We’ve asked for support so many times, and thought that a valid thing to ask since our child is just a little tiny human that needs a community, and because my spouse’s family drops everything for their other grand kids. How can you call yourself religious or Christian and do this? No, they don’t owe us anything. But really, if you can’t offer love in a life and death situation, what’s it all for? Help me understand. I don’t want your prayers.

Are you religious? Or of the same religion as your in-laws? If not, maybe that's the reason why they are only praying for you and not offering the concrete assistance that you need. Also, try being specific. Tell them exactly what you need from them.

+1
This should be in Family Relationships; not Religion. I know you posted here to get inside the heads of selfish "Christians" who offer prayer and nothing else according to the teachings of Jesus, but it's clearly useless and will only make you more angry.

Especially if you're a believer, which I assume you are, or you likely would have been more specific about what you needed from the beginning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your question is why are some religious people thoughtless? Because they are people.

Correct -- and religion gives them a way to say they're doing something when they're really not doing anything helpful at all.

It’s human nature and not limited to Christians or even religious people.

[Anonymous]

Tell them what you need.

At a minimum, if others want to help you by offering prayers, ask them to donate to a cause that researches something related to the health issue. That will do more to make a difference to someone, even if not directly your child.

[Anonymous]

OP, they don't want to help your family the same way they help their other kid's family.
Period.
Thoughts and prayers is a way of papering over that reality.
Your issue is not religion it's why they treat the families differently. Maybe your child's health is just too traumatic for them. No excuse but maybe reason. Ask DH.

[Anonymous]

In other words, you have put up barriers between your family and his family for years, you probably have a ‘let him deal with his family approach’ to marriage. You probably don’t like them on a good day and on resentful that they’re not there for you right now. It sounds like a you reap what you sow situation and here you are.