My lazy kid is doing worse and worse on math

[Anonymous]

We reward honor roll. They have to take the tests, they don't have to try - no negative consequences at all, but if they want an expensive present or significant privilege, they need to score.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP

I did asked my kid what else he is interested in, he couldn't find one.

Seriously speaking, games does take away quite lot enginery from him. But what can I do, now almost every kid plays more or less.

I am not serious about the math competetion. Just want to find something meaningful for him.

Plenty of my kids friends only have one activity and would spend all their time on video games if given the opportunity, it is not uncommon. I would require him to participate in 2 clubs after school each semester and find one after school activity that he wants to try. Be open to those activities changing while he looks for what he wants to do. Video games are fine but limit the time he can play. DS has a 1 hour limit per day. Some days he doesn't have time, due to other activities. We enforce that limit 85% of the time. We allowed a lot more then that during the recent snow days because the sledding hill was not in great shape, due to the conditions, and how cold it was outside. He participated in his activities that were happening, went to friends houses, and did other things but there was a lot more screen time then normal.

We will allow him pretty much unlimited after he has completed a math competition or on days like the TJ test days. Normally it is after something that we have seen him working hard for and we know that he was a bit stressed about. Most of the time we don't have the results, the extra time is a reward for the effort and work he put in not the outcome. He does an online math class through RSM every week, he gets to choose the take out we order for dinner that night. We'll pick up his favorite fast food after taking the AMCs. The idea is that we want to recognize his work and his participation, not his outcome.

He scores in the 99th percentile for his grade level on math tests and has been scoring in the 95th percentile for the AMCs that are ahead of grade level. We are excited for him and tell him that but we place the emphasis on the effort he makes to prepare. Math club at school, RSM math classes, and practice tests at home. That is what we reward. It is great that he is seeing excellent results but we point to the hard work he has put in producing results.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure your nagging and negative comments said to him help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP

I did asked my kid what else he is interested in, he couldn't find one.

Seriously speaking, games does take away quite lot enginery from him. But what can I do, now almost every kid plays more or less.

I am not serious about the math competetion. Just want to find something meaningful for him.

Plenty of my kids friends only have one activity and would spend all their time on video games if given the opportunity, it is not uncommon. I would require him to participate in 2 clubs after school each semester and find one after school activity that he wants to try. Be open to those activities changing while he looks for what he wants to do. Video games are fine but limit the time he can play. DS has a 1 hour limit per day. Some days he doesn't have time, due to other activities. We enforce that limit 85% of the time. We allowed a lot more then that during the recent snow days because the sledding hill was not in great shape, due to the conditions, and how cold it was outside. He participated in his activities that were happening, went to friends houses, and did other things but there was a lot more screen time then normal.

We will allow him pretty much unlimited after he has completed a math competition or on days like the TJ test days. Normally it is after something that we have seen him working hard for and we know that he was a bit stressed about. Most of the time we don't have the results, the extra time is a reward for the effort and work he put in not the outcome. He does an online math class through RSM every week, he gets to choose the take out we order for dinner that night. We'll pick up his favorite fast food after taking the AMCs. The idea is that we want to recognize his work and his participation, not his outcome.

He scores in the 99th percentile for his grade level on math tests and has been scoring in the 95th percentile for the AMCs that are ahead of grade level. We are excited for him and tell him that but we place the emphasis on the effort he makes to prepare. Math club at school, RSM math classes, and practice tests at home. That is what we reward. It is great that he is seeing excellent results but we point to the hard work he has put in producing results.

This is very useful info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP

I did asked my kid what else he is interested in, he couldn't find one.

Seriously speaking, games does take away quite lot enginery from him. But what can I do, now almost every kid plays more or less.

I am not serious about the math competetion. Just want to find something meaningful for him.

Plenty of my kids friends only have one activity and would spend all their time on video games if given the opportunity, it is not uncommon. I would require him to participate in 2 clubs after school each semester and find one after school activity that he wants to try. Be open to those activities changing while he looks for what he wants to do. Video games are fine but limit the time he can play. DS has a 1 hour limit per day. Some days he doesn't have time, due to other activities. We enforce that limit 85% of the time. We allowed a lot more then that during the recent snow days because the sledding hill was not in great shape, due to the conditions, and how cold it was outside. He participated in his activities that were happening, went to friends houses, and did other things but there was a lot more screen time then normal.

We will allow him pretty much unlimited after he has completed a math competition or on days like the TJ test days. Normally it is after something that we have seen him working hard for and we know that he was a bit stressed about. Most of the time we don't have the results, the extra time is a reward for the effort and work he put in not the outcome. He does an online math class through RSM every week, he gets to choose the take out we order for dinner that night. We'll pick up his favorite fast food after taking the AMCs. The idea is that we want to recognize his work and his participation, not his outcome.

He scores in the 99th percentile for his grade level on math tests and has been scoring in the 95th percentile for the AMCs that are ahead of grade level. We are excited for him and tell him that but we place the emphasis on the effort he makes to prepare. Math club at school, RSM math classes, and practice tests at home. That is what we reward. It is great that he is seeing excellent results but we point to the hard work he has put in producing results.

This is very useful info.

He does things other then math. He is active in Scouts and does some sort of rec sport/physical activity all year. Something that moves his body for 60-90 minutes a few times a week. He participates in a few clubs after school, one is Mathcounts and the other a fun one. He has free time at home, enough that he has time for video games 2-3 days a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP

I did asked my kid what else he is interested in, he couldn't find one.

Seriously speaking, games does take away quite lot enginery from him. But what can I do, now almost every kid plays more or less.

I am not serious about the math competetion. Just want to find something meaningful for him.

Plenty of my kids friends only have one activity and would spend all their time on video games if given the opportunity, it is not uncommon. I would require him to participate in 2 clubs after school each semester and find one after school activity that he wants to try. Be open to those activities changing while he looks for what he wants to do. Video games are fine but limit the time he can play. DS has a 1 hour limit per day. Some days he doesn't have time, due to other activities. We enforce that limit 85% of the time. We allowed a lot more then that during the recent snow days because the sledding hill was not in great shape, due to the conditions, and how cold it was outside. He participated in his activities that were happening, went to friends houses, and did other things but there was a lot more screen time then normal.

We will allow him pretty much unlimited after he has completed a math competition or on days like the TJ test days. Normally it is after something that we have seen him working hard for and we know that he was a bit stressed about. Most of the time we don't have the results, the extra time is a reward for the effort and work he put in not the outcome. He does an online math class through RSM every week, he gets to choose the take out we order for dinner that night. We'll pick up his favorite fast food after taking the AMCs. The idea is that we want to recognize his work and his participation, not his outcome.

He scores in the 99th percentile for his grade level on math tests and has been scoring in the 95th percentile for the AMCs that are ahead of grade level. We are excited for him and tell him that but we place the emphasis on the effort he makes to prepare. Math club at school, RSM math classes, and practice tests at home. That is what we reward. It is great that he is seeing excellent results but we point to the hard work he has put in producing results.

This is very useful info.

He does things other then math. He is active in Scouts and does some sort of rec sport/physical activity all year. Something that moves his body for 60-90 minutes a few times a week. He participates in a few clubs after school, one is Mathcounts and the other a fun one. He has free time at home, enough that he has time for video games 2-3 days a week.

You finally got to the crux of the issue.

For some kids, Mathcounts is the fun one. When your kid competes with these kids, your kid does not stand a chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP

I did asked my kid what else he is interested in, he couldn't find one.

Seriously speaking, games does take away quite lot enginery from him. But what can I do, now almost every kid plays more or less.

I am not serious about the math competetion. Just want to find something meaningful for him.

Plenty of my kids friends only have one activity and would spend all their time on video games if given the opportunity, it is not uncommon. I would require him to participate in 2 clubs after school each semester and find one after school activity that he wants to try. Be open to those activities changing while he looks for what he wants to do. Video games are fine but limit the time he can play. DS has a 1 hour limit per day. Some days he doesn't have time, due to other activities. We enforce that limit 85% of the time. We allowed a lot more then that during the recent snow days because the sledding hill was not in great shape, due to the conditions, and how cold it was outside. He participated in his activities that were happening, went to friends houses, and did other things but there was a lot more screen time then normal.

We will allow him pretty much unlimited after he has completed a math competition or on days like the TJ test days. Normally it is after something that we have seen him working hard for and we know that he was a bit stressed about. Most of the time we don't have the results, the extra time is a reward for the effort and work he put in not the outcome. He does an online math class through RSM every week, he gets to choose the take out we order for dinner that night. We'll pick up his favorite fast food after taking the AMCs. The idea is that we want to recognize his work and his participation, not his outcome.

He scores in the 99th percentile for his grade level on math tests and has been scoring in the 95th percentile for the AMCs that are ahead of grade level. We are excited for him and tell him that but we place the emphasis on the effort he makes to prepare. Math club at school, RSM math classes, and practice tests at home. That is what we reward. It is great that he is seeing excellent results but we point to the hard work he has put in producing results.

This is very useful info.

He does things other then math. He is active in Scouts and does some sort of rec sport/physical activity all year. Something that moves his body for 60-90 minutes a few times a week. He participates in a few clubs after school, one is Mathcounts and the other a fun one. He has free time at home, enough that he has time for video games 2-3 days a week.

You finally got to the crux of the issue.

For some kids, Mathcounts is the fun one. When your kid competes with these kids, your kid does not stand a chanc

Mathcounts is fun for my kid and he is competitive. Maybe I should have said non-academic instead of fun because he loves Mathcounts and finds it fun. It is just a different type of fun then the other clubs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP

I did asked my kid what else he is interested in, he couldn't find one.

Seriously speaking, games does take away quite lot enginery from him. But what can I do, now almost every kid plays more or less.

I am not serious about the math competetion. Just want to find something meaningful for him.

Plenty of my kids friends only have one activity and would spend all their time on video games if given the opportunity, it is not uncommon. I would require him to participate in 2 clubs after school each semester and find one after school activity that he wants to try. Be open to those activities changing while he looks for what he wants to do. Video games are fine but limit the time he can play. DS has a 1 hour limit per day. Some days he doesn't have time, due to other activities. We enforce that limit 85% of the time. We allowed a lot more then that during the recent snow days because the sledding hill was not in great shape, due to the conditions, and how cold it was outside. He participated in his activities that were happening, went to friends houses, and did other things but there was a lot more screen time then normal.

We will allow him pretty much unlimited after he has completed a math competition or on days like the TJ test days. Normally it is after something that we have seen him working hard for and we know that he was a bit stressed about. Most of the time we don't have the results, the extra time is a reward for the effort and work he put in not the outcome. He does an online math class through RSM every week, he gets to choose the take out we order for dinner that night. We'll pick up his favorite fast food after taking the AMCs. The idea is that we want to recognize his work and his participation, not his outcome.

He scores in the 99th percentile for his grade level on math tests and has been scoring in the 95th percentile for the AMCs that are ahead of grade level. We are excited for him and tell him that but we place the emphasis on the effort he makes to prepare. Math club at school, RSM math classes, and practice tests at home. That is what we reward. It is great that he is seeing excellent results but we point to the hard work he has put in producing results.

This is very useful info.

He does things other then math. He is active in Scouts and does some sort of rec sport/physical activity all year. Something that moves his body for 60-90 minutes a few times a week. He participates in a few clubs after school, one is Mathcounts and the other a fun one. He has free time at home, enough that he has time for video games 2-3 days a week.

You finally got to the crux of the issue.

For some kids, Mathcounts is the fun one. When your kid competes with these kids, your kid does not stand a chanc

Mathcounts is fun for my kid and he is competitive. Maybe I should have said non-academic instead of fun because he loves Mathcounts and finds it fun. It is just a different type of fun then the other clubs.

If it is fun for your kid, he would be doing math problems for fun and you would not be here complaining your kid is lazy. Ton of kids like doing math for fun and they are the ones who are going to do extremely well in Mathcounts.

He is likely doing it to impress others, that is competitiveness and it is not going to help much after 1-2 years.

[Anonymous]

There is a saying, any activity is fun for the kid until the parents get involved. So too with many Mathcounts kids I coached.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP

I did asked my kid what else he is interested in, he couldn't find one.

Seriously speaking, games does take away quite lot enginery from him. But what can I do, now almost every kid plays more or less.

I am not serious about the math competetion. Just want to find something meaningful for him.

Plenty of my kids friends only have one activity and would spend all their time on video games if given the opportunity, it is not uncommon. I would require him to participate in 2 clubs after school each semester and find one after school activity that he wants to try. Be open to those activities changing while he looks for what he wants to do. Video games are fine but limit the time he can play. DS has a 1 hour limit per day. Some days he doesn't have time, due to other activities. We enforce that limit 85% of the time. We allowed a lot more then that during the recent snow days because the sledding hill was not in great shape, due to the conditions, and how cold it was outside. He participated in his activities that were happening, went to friends houses, and did other things but there was a lot more screen time then normal.

We will allow him pretty much unlimited after he has completed a math competition or on days like the TJ test days. Normally it is after something that we have seen him working hard for and we know that he was a bit stressed about. Most of the time we don't have the results, the extra time is a reward for the effort and work he put in not the outcome. He does an online math class through RSM every week, he gets to choose the take out we order for dinner that night. We'll pick up his favorite fast food after taking the AMCs. The idea is that we want to recognize his work and his participation, not his outcome.

He scores in the 99th percentile for his grade level on math tests and has been scoring in the 95th percentile for the AMCs that are ahead of grade level. We are excited for him and tell him that but we place the emphasis on the effort he makes to prepare. Math club at school, RSM math classes, and practice tests at home. That is what we reward. It is great that he is seeing excellent results but we point to the hard work he has put in producing results.

This is very useful info.

He does things other then math. He is active in Scouts and does some sort of rec sport/physical activity all year. Something that moves his body for 60-90 minutes a few times a week. He participates in a few clubs after school, one is Mathcounts and the other a fun one. He has free time at home, enough that he has time for video games 2-3 days a week.

You finally got to the crux of the issue.

For some kids, Mathcounts is the fun one. When your kid competes with these kids, your kid does not stand a chanc

Mathcounts is fun for my kid and he is competitive. Maybe I should have said non-academic instead of fun because he loves Mathcounts and finds it fun. It is just a different type of fun then the other clubs.

If it is fun for your kid, he would be doing math problems for fun and you would not be here complaining your kid is lazy. Ton of kids like doing math for fun and they are the ones who are going to do extremely well in Mathcounts.

He is likely doing it to impress others, that is competitiveness and it is not going to help much after 1-2 years.

I am not the OP. I was giving advice. My kid is doing just fine in Mathcounts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Disowning is what I’d do here. Forget this child. Hopefully you have another one you can pin all your hopes and dreams on.

What’s that poison they use on Season 3 of the White Lotus?

Poisson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP

I did asked my kid what else he is interested in, he couldn't find one.

Seriously speaking, games does take away quite lot enginery from him. But what can I do, now almost every kid plays more or less.

I am not serious about the math competetion. Just want to find something meaningful for him.

We simply refuse to allow video games. Ours read for fun and (with some prodding) do their homework. Allowing video games is a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP

I did asked my kid what else he is interested in, he couldn't find one.

Seriously speaking, games does take away quite lot enginery from him. But what can I do, now almost every kid plays more or less.

I am not serious about the math competetion. Just want to find something meaningful for him.

What you are describing, sadly, is what happens to the brain when they play online too much. Their brain is becoming developed to only seek enjoyment from playing online and conversely, the brain cannot experience enjoyment with the same amount of ease as it previously did before the dopamine receptors were skewed by too much game/ video/ screen time.

This is what addiction does to the brain. The Brain only wants the thing that gives them joy and what is left over is an inability to find joy in anything else.

"Anhedonia, or the inability to feel pleasure, can be caused by excessive video game use, creating a state of "digital anhedonia" where real-world activities feel unrewarding compared to the rapid, high-intensity stimulation of gaming. Prolonged, compulsive gaming can lead to addiction-like brain desensitization, lowering the threshold for dopamine release and resulting in emotional numbness, reduced motivation, and an inability to find joy in everyday life."

[Anonymous]

This whole thread is ridiculous hand-wringing over nothing. To the op, your son is fine. Leave him alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP

I did asked my kid what else he is interested in, he couldn't find one.

Seriously speaking, games does take away quite lot enginery from him. But what can I do, now almost every kid plays more or less.

I am not serious about the math competetion. Just want to find something meaningful for him.

Plenty of my kids friends only have one activity and would spend all their time on video games if given the opportunity, it is not uncommon. I would require him to participate in 2 clubs after school each semester and find one after school activity that he wants to try. Be open to those activities changing while he looks for what he wants to do. Video games are fine but limit the time he can play. DS has a 1 hour limit per day. Some days he doesn't have time, due to other activities. We enforce that limit 85% of the time. We allowed a lot more then that during the recent snow days because the sledding hill was not in great shape, due to the conditions, and how cold it was outside. He participated in his activities that were happening, went to friends houses, and did other things but there was a lot more screen time then normal.

We will allow him pretty much unlimited after he has completed a math competition or on days like the TJ test days. Normally it is after something that we have seen him working hard for and we know that he was a bit stressed about. Most of the time we don't have the results, the extra time is a reward for the effort and work he put in not the outcome. He does an online math class through RSM every week, he gets to choose the take out we order for dinner that night. We'll pick up his favorite fast food after taking the AMCs. The idea is that we want to recognize his work and his participation, not his outcome.

He scores in the 99th percentile for his grade level on math tests and has been scoring in the 95th percentile for the AMCs that are ahead of grade level. We are excited for him and tell him that but we place the emphasis on the effort he makes to prepare. Math club at school, RSM math classes, and practice tests at home. That is what we reward. It is great that he is seeing excellent results but we point to the hard work he has put in producing results.

This is very useful info.

He does things other then math. He is active in Scouts and does some sort of rec sport/physical activity all year. Something that moves his body for 60-90 minutes a few times a week. He participates in a few clubs after school, one is Mathcounts and the other a fun one. He has free time at home, enough that he has time for video games 2-3 days a week.

You finally got to the crux of the issue.

For some kids, Mathcounts is the fun one. When your kid competes with these kids, your kid does not stand a chanc

Mathcounts is fun for my kid and he is competitive. Maybe I should have said non-academic instead of fun because he loves Mathcounts and finds it fun. It is just a different type of fun then the other clubs.

If it is fun for your kid, he would be doing math problems for fun and you would not be here complaining your kid is lazy. Ton of kids like doing math for fun and they are the ones who are going to do extremely well in Mathcounts.

He is likely doing it to impress others, that is competitiveness and it is not going to help much after 1-2 years.

To some extent this desire to impress peers is where a lot of self motivation come from for teens.

Generally speaking, Math competitions is useful if you can get at least AIME and this kid sounds like he will.

It is extremely useful and combined with an otherwise strong application, a near guarantee of top 20 college if you can get to USAMO or even USAJMO.

It is a golden ticket if you can get to MOP