Donating to nephew but estranged from family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. It's secure. It's the same highschool I went to and all in the info checks out.

That's what I'm wondering. Why keep my # even if it was automatically sent to all contacts. My husband didn't receive a text and at done point he also had his # in his phone

Who takes numbers off or tidies contacts. I have dead people and definct companies in mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You answered your own question before you even got around to asking it:

"I can't have the door open again towards ...him ... I can't have a relationship with him ..."

Look, estrangement is hard and it comes with consequences. One of those is there are innocent people who are victims of the circumstances, like your nephews. You cannot expect to have a healthy or close relationship with kids if you have cut off their parents.

I'm in similar circumstances but I know I cannot engage with someone's children yet have no relationship with parents- it will do nothing but cause more hurt and anger.

Let go. Don't donate. Move on.

As someone who is also estranged, this. And block. And figure out why you haven’t already blocked.

[Anonymous]

I'd say donate. You can do this anonymously. I say this as a parent of a HS kid who just had to participate in the fundraising for his HS team. They asked him to send 20 e-mails (not automatically from contacts): aunts, uncles, even his dentist (which he didn't). We asked some of our friends to participate after sending them money. Anyway, if you can spare $20, donate it anonymously and don't overthink it. I'm sure his parents don't know, the kids do it themselves. If you donate under your name, it'll show on the webpage.

[Anonymous]

You don't have a relationship with this child so the answer is no.

He shouldn't be begging. Ignore.

[Anonymous]

You have no idea if this was an accident and you just ended up on a list. If he wants you in his life once he is out of the house he can email you or whatever. Asking for money is not a way to tell someone you miss them. Don't donate. If anything it may cause drama if the parents see your name on a list. I am sorry things are this way, but he is a minor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd donate $20. Maybe he wants a relationship with you and his parents won't allow and he's reaching out the only way he can. He kept your contact in his phone for a reason.

Lets be real, you and the adults in your family are F'd up. All of you.

There's no need to be heartless to a child that has nothing to do with the F'd up adults. Yes you can have a relationship with your nephew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say donate. You can do this anonymously. I say this as a parent of a HS kid who just had to participate in the fundraising for his HS team. They asked him to send 20 e-mails (not automatically from contacts): aunts, uncles, even his dentist (which he didn't). We asked some of our friends to participate after sending them money. Anyway, if you can spare $20, donate it anonymously and don't overthink it. I'm sure his parents don't know, the kids do it themselves. If you donate under your name, it'll show on the webpage.

Our school sports uses this same “system”. I hate it, so awkward. IMO you don’t have to donate and I’m sure he or his parents wouldn’t expect you to. He probably just put in a bunch of numbers from his contact list. Or his parent sent him a list and accidentally included you maybe. They pressure the kids heavily to put in a certain amount of phone numbers/email addresses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have no idea if this was an accident and you just ended up on a list. If he wants you in his life once he is out of the house he can email you or whatever. Asking for money is not a way to tell someone you miss them. Don't donate. If anything it may cause drama if the parents see your name on a list. I am sorry things are this way, but he is a minor.

FFS. This was a blanket solicitation to contacts for sports fundraising, not some Parent Trap plot to get the siblings back together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. It's secure. It's the same highschool I went to and all in the info checks out.

That's what I'm wondering. Why keep my # even if it was automatically sent to all contacts. My husband didn't receive a text and at done point he also had his # in his phone

I’m estranged from my sister. My kids reach it out occasionally for donations and she supports with minimal amounts. It is fine.

[Anonymous]

I would ignore. If he is asking for money as a donation then he should contact you directly himself.

[Anonymous]

ignore