Donating to nephew but estranged from family

[Anonymous]

I'm estranged from family. I've posted before but there is no pathway for a relationship for many many reasons. I haven't seen my nephews in years.

I received a text from my nephew. Automated text saying this is X donate to my sports team.

It's from his # but through raise-375. Not sure if there is an option through that platform that sends the text to all contacts or if he had to select my number.

If the latter I feel like I want to send something even anonymously but I can't have the door open again towards his parents or really him as I understand I can't have a relationship with him and not his parents.

It's not need base, it's fundraising for jr baseball HS team.

[Anonymous]

Ignore. He shouldn't be asking you (or anyone) for money.

[Anonymous]

If he doesn’t have a relationship with you, he shouldn’t be asking you for money.

[Anonymous]

I'd donate $20. Maybe he wants a relationship with you and his parents won't allow and he's reaching out the only way he can. He kept your contact in his phone for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Check carefully to be sure it's a secure donor platform and really goes to a team. Could be a hack. Use PayPal or something not a real credit card.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all. It's secure. It's the same highschool I went to and all in the info checks out.

That's what I'm wondering. Why keep my # even if it was automatically sent to all contacts. My husband didn't receive a text and at done point he also had his # in his phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd donate $20. Maybe he wants a relationship with you and his parents won't allow and he's reaching out the only way he can. He kept your contact in his phone for a reason.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd donate $20. Maybe he wants a relationship with you and his parents won't allow and he's reaching out the only way he can. He kept your contact in his phone for a reason.

+1

[Anonymous]

He probably still likes you because he kept your number BUT the sports teams often put pressure on the kids to message a set number of contacts or to get $X in donations.

I'd say send a token amount in case there's a chance to get back in touch when he is grown. Don't do more than $20.

[Anonymous]

I might give money to my actual nephew, but his high school sports team? No.

[Anonymous]

You answered your own question before you even got around to asking it:

"I can't have the door open again towards ...him ... I can't have a relationship with him ..."

Look, estrangement is hard and it comes with consequences. One of those is there are innocent people who are victims of the circumstances, like your nephews. You cannot expect to have a healthy or close relationship with kids if you have cut off their parents.

I'm in similar circumstances but I know I cannot engage with someone's children yet have no relationship with parents- it will do nothing but cause more hurt and anger.

Let go. Don't donate. Move on.

[Anonymous]

^ Add - and the people who will be hurt the most are the kids, who will be placed in the hard middle. Don't do that to them if you care for them at all.

[Anonymous]

I had a relationship with my nieces and nephews (and not their parent) after they went to college.

[Anonymous]

Girl scouts, sport teams, school fundraisers etc. sometimes have options to send fundraising emails automatically to all contacts. I would not overthink this. He may not even be aware that the email was sent also to you. Give a small offer if you feel like doing it and move on

[Anonymous]

Sounds like spam.

Was his number in your phone book? Someone hacked