Where to meet marriage-minded men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outside of the usual dating apps - hinge, bumble, CMB, the league etc., what type of meetups or activities or other groups etc helping you meet a partner? Looking for men in their 30s and 40s for marriage, and getting very tired of all the ghosting/short term relationships on dating apps. I’m thinking of adding 1-2 in person meetups per week (with the hope of casting a wider net, but not necessarily dating events). Insights appreciated!

Church/religious community

Be as hot as possible and date men who are a level or two below you in the looks department.

Do not have sex until you are in a committed relationship.

She's not 22. This is advice for a hot 20-something. Not for a middle-aged DC 5.

The advice is the same regardless of age.

[Anonymous]

When the bloom is off the rose, the rose has to start developing her other, more durable, skillset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outside of the usual dating apps - hinge, bumble, CMB, the league etc., what type of meetups or activities or other groups etc helping you meet a partner? Looking for men in their 30s and 40s for marriage, and getting very tired of all the ghosting/short term relationships on dating apps. I’m thinking of adding 1-2 in person meetups per week (with the hope of casting a wider net, but not necessarily dating events). Insights appreciated!

Church/religious community

Be as hot as possible and date men who are a level or two below you in the looks department.

Do not have sex until you are in a committed relationship.

She's not 22. This is advice for a hot 20-something. Not for a middle-aged DC 5.

The advice is the same regardless of age.

OP here. I’m similar in attractiveness to friends who have gotten married, so I don’t know if that is the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When the bloom is off the rose, the rose has to start developing her other, more durable, skillset.

All that matters is relative attractiveness.

As soon as OP meets a man who feels that he’ll never be with anyone hotter, he will put a ring on it, assuming he wants marriage.

OP should be immediately filtering out men who aren’t looking for marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outside of the usual dating apps - hinge, bumble, CMB, the league etc., what type of meetups or activities or other groups etc helping you meet a partner? Looking for men in their 30s and 40s for marriage, and getting very tired of all the ghosting/short term relationships on dating apps. I’m thinking of adding 1-2 in person meetups per week (with the hope of casting a wider net, but not necessarily dating events). Insights appreciated!

Church/religious community

Be as hot as possible and date men who are a level or two below you in the looks department.

Do not have sex until you are in a committed relationship.

She's not 22. This is advice for a hot 20-something. Not for a middle-aged DC 5.

The advice is the same regardless of age.

OP here. I’m similar in attractiveness to friends who have gotten married, so I don’t know if that is the issue.

That is entirely irrelevant.

All that matters is how hot you are compared to him, and the other women he has dated.

If you are a 6, target a 4 in the looks department.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When the bloom is off the rose, the rose has to start developing her other, more durable, skillset.

All that matters is relative attractiveness.

As soon as OP meets a man who feels that he’ll never be with anyone hotter, he will put a ring on it, assuming he wants marriage.

OP should be immediately filtering out men who aren’t looking for marriage.

^This is completely detached from reality.

OP, beware of advice like this.

[Anonymous]

OP here. One more thing before someone mentions it. I’m not looking for a “10.” Literally just looking for someone kind, educated, reliable, and someone who clicks with me. A six pack, etc isn’t necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outside of the usual dating apps - hinge, bumble, CMB, the league etc., what type of meetups or activities or other groups etc helping you meet a partner? Looking for men in their 30s and 40s for marriage, and getting very tired of all the ghosting/short term relationships on dating apps. I’m thinking of adding 1-2 in person meetups per week (with the hope of casting a wider net, but not necessarily dating events). Insights appreciated!

OP here. I should add that I went on 50+ dates last year and was excited about less than 5 of the guys I met from hinge and bumble. (One moved away and lost touch with another due to an unexpected job search - so nothing panned out). But it’s just been alot of work, and I’m hoping to improve the quality of guys I’m meeting, so we can move on to the relationship part!

This is a pretty bad percentage. I would consider why you are matching with so many people who are not a good fit. Maybe your profile needs a different focus. Or maybe your standards are unrealistic. I'm not sure there is any reason to believe you'll find a higher percentage of matches in person.

Yes, I also wonder why OP goes on dates with so many men who aren’t a good match. Last summer, I wanted to date casually and met with 10 men through Hinge and had an amazing experience: most of them were so nice, I ended up dating one very high quality man and am still in touch with 4 of them as friends.

Last December, I decided that I’m ready for a long term committed relationship and created a new profile on Hinge with the very specific description for the type of man and relationship that I was looking for. It worked really well: I had long conversations with 3 men who were really interested. I was traveling for a month and couldn’t meet with them right away, and I think that helped to keep them interested and intrigued. I unmatched one of them before even meeting him in person, after he called me being drunk. I met the 2nd one right after I came back, dated him for 3 days in a row, he was interested in the long term committed relationship and was quite wealthy and generous but I broke up with him. Next day after breaking up with him, I met with the 3rd man. We started dating every day, and on day 4 he asked me to become his girlfriend. That was a month ago, and we are still very happy together. He has a PhD, competes in an Ironman and is such a sweet, caring person. I think I can be an online dating consultant 😀

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. One more thing before someone mentions it. I’m not looking for a “10.” Literally just looking for someone kind, educated, reliable, and someone who clicks with me. A six pack, etc isn’t necessary.

The reality is that your win rate is very low.

Obviously something is off, but it is hard to tell based on what you have written. Could be looks, could be personality, or some other weird quirk.

When I was single and dating, men wanted to continue to see me until I ended things around 80-90% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Outside of the usual dating apps - hinge, bumble, CMB, the league etc., what type of meetups or activities or other groups etc helping you meet a partner? Looking for men in their 30s and 40s for marriage, and getting very tired of all the ghosting/short term relationships on dating apps. I’m thinking of adding 1-2 in person meetups per week (with the hope of casting a wider net, but not necessarily dating events). Insights appreciated!

Church, mosque, temple, synagogue, MAGA conventions.

[Anonymous]

Don't go for guys who are tall and hot looking. Go for regular guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, if you're really good in bed he's going to want to lock it down. Focus on your bedroom skills and you'll have a higher conversion rate on your short-term =>long term transition.

And be nice.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I'm attending the wrong mass, but when I go to church, the majority of people there alone are women not men. I don't think there are many men to be found there.

[Anonymous]

Op if you haven’t found anyone yet, then lower your expectations. Also you are probably not as good looking as you think. You think you are as good looking as your friends, but you probably are not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, if you're really good in bed he's going to want to lock it down. Focus on your bedroom skills and you'll have a higher conversion rate on your short-term =>long term transition.

Sad but true. I know a great looking dude, tall and big wallet that is locking down a woman that is several steps below him in desirability. He says she isn't replaceable in bed.

I am a very successful man in early 40s and make $1M+/year. If I get a woman who keeps the peace and good in bed then I don't care how big or educated or how much money she makes. Most unattractive feature is woman who are bitter and angry.