How to plan for vacations and not be a jerk parent.

[Anonymous]

I have a sibling in this situation. college funds are not mandatory so neither ex spouse is saving for it. they instead are spending everything extra on travel and gifts to be the cool parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be done adding money to 529. Take the vacations and then add to regular investment account. Kids may not want to vacation with you as they get older. They may only take the one trip.
How is $100k not enough for each child?
4-year college for DC costs me $20k in total. Not my idea, but DC is reasonable. He even tried to make a case for DC Tag.
Your children need to see the world more than think that $100k+ invested for them is normal.

Because most state schools are $30K+ all in. So yes, 100K should be enough and the kid can work to contribute $10K/year. But what if you are in MD and your kid wants engineering and does not get into UMD Engineering? Where are they going to attend for $30K? It might cost a bit more. So while you might not want to save in the 529 itself (up to you, I like the tax savings over time, but get that it then must be used for education---we will just leave extra for our grandkids or our kid's graduate school). you might want to save a bit more for college itself. Most kids would rather have college debt free than extra vacations as a teen (ask them at age 28, and most would rather be debt free)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you travel with the kids in a more budget friendly way? I'd plan to take one trip in the next year abroad. It's important to teach your kids how to do trips abroad, so I'd frame it from there.

$1M for one person is a great retirement account 10 years out. Don't let the insanely rich people on here sway you from that. Don't stop contributing, but it's also ok to balance doing some travel now why you're healthy and younger. Maybe work an extra year or 2 to cover it.

It might be enough, but it really depends. Retirement at 58 means 7 years of healthcare...by that point I would assume $2-2.5K/adult per year. It's $1600 now for me at 55, and that's only Medical (no dental or vision---and you ideally need those to just get the "negotiated much lower rates"). and that comes with a $9K deducbitble. So in 5+ years, assuming $2-2.5K for medical/dental/vision is a fair guess. That's $25-30K+/year. Your $1M only earns you 40K at 4%, without touching the principle or $60-70K if in the market (with more risk). Sure, that $1M will be $1.5M+ in 5 years. But unless you only want to spend $60-70K per year (which is 30K after medical really), you need more for retirement,. And if she wants to travel in retirement, she might not have enough then

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone has full pay college for kids.
Go on a few good vacations.
Then see about saving more.

I would feel like a terrible parent if I made my kids take out debt for college because I wanted to visit Mexico a few times per year. I grew up poor, we didn't take vacations after I was 12 and before that it was always driving with a camper attached (and staying in a cheap campground where you had to communal shower, run to toilets during the middle of the night). But as the kids hit teen years, my parents buckled down even more to save for their retirement (they were behind due to job losses/layoffs) so they wouldn't be a burden to us. They helped with college, we took the max loans (and then some from other family members who could afford to help with a loan). But yeah I would have been pissed as a 20 something or beyond had my parents been taking flying vacations when I was a teen and I couldn't attend college for reasonably low debt.

[Anonymous]

I think you can do budget vacations. Go to 10x travel or travel mom squad, learn how to maximize credit card points, and go on vacations that's only a bit out of pocket.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to think creatively. And yes, I wonder about your ex and whether they are contributing. I also wonder what your kids want to study and whykind of student they are - and can they work for spending money.

I also wonder about retiring at 58. It would be great, but how will you afford health care for 7 years?

Finally, I'm curious what you do. Could you change jobs into something that travels, expecially when the kids are out of high school? That might scratch some of your itch without too mcuh impact, or lead you to a second career that you want to do for a few more years.

OK, one more - I have a friend who agressively manages credit cards to get points and travels almost entirely on points. To be honest, it seems like a lot of work, but it works for them.

[Anonymous]

Split the money in 3: retirement, college and credit card payments. I'd travel and use my credit card for it. But pick lower cost trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd do the trips. Life comes at you once.

Yep. Do it soon.

[Anonymous]

I prioritize travel. I like active travel including hiking with overnights to remote locations, biking, swimming, kayaking. You can’t predict when you will have a health issue or injury. Do these things while you can. Maybe work a couple extra years. Your kids already have $100k set aside which is more than most.

I think enjoying your life and demonstrating that to your kids is important too, not just paying 100 percent for college. My parents are both stingy and miserable. Like scrooge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You cannot afford expensive vacays, my dear. You need more in your retirement and your kids must apply to in-state colleges only, hopefully with financial aid or merit (because 100K per kid isn't enough for the average in-state flagship). You need to travel at off times and look for super deals, which when kids are still in school, is really difficult. I'm sorry, I get the hankering for new places and new sights. Our parents live in Europe and my cousins are in East Asia. We don't see them nearly enough. I haven't seen my cousins in 11 years!

depends on how smart and motivated the kids are. Mine has enough merit that it only costs me 20k/yr (inclusive of housing and food)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prioritize travel. I like active travel including hiking with overnights to remote locations, biking, swimming, kayaking. You can’t predict when you will have a health issue or injury. Do these things while you can. Maybe work a couple extra years. Your kids already have $100k set aside which is more than most.

I think enjoying your life and demonstrating that to your kids is important too, not just paying 100 percent for college. My parents are both stingy and miserable. Like scrooge.

However, you can live while still providing for college for your kids. You were the one who chose to bring them into this world, so you take on a responsibility to provide for them (and IMO, that includes helping them get thru college with minimal debt). You also chose to procreate with a person who doesn't want to help them with college, so while it sucks, that is not the kid's fault. So you be the bigger adult and find a way to provide for college (in state is just fine) and take cheap vacations.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your kids and see what they think. Your kids may say they prefer the vacays or that they prefer less/no loans.

I see lots of families going on very big trips and also very stressed about upcoming college costs. I get it before middle school, but after, I wouldn't do anything that would impact whether my kids would have a student loan (eg, huge trips, huge home improvements). Some families can't avoid it (I was in that boat as a kid), but if you can, it's worth it to me. I wasn't conflicted about that, but if I were, I would have talked with my kids about it. DH never had loans, and it gave him a huge leg up in his 20s.

[Anonymous]

OP, do local trips. Mostly day trips.

Harpers Ferry.

Baltimore.

The National Mall.

Alexandria Old Town and Harpers Ferry.

You did not explain - is the other spouse going to contribute to college too? Or just you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot afford expensive vacays, my dear. You need more in your retirement and your kids must apply to in-state colleges only, hopefully with financial aid or merit (because 100K per kid isn't enough for the average in-state flagship). You need to travel at off times and look for super deals, which when kids are still in school, is really difficult. I'm sorry, I get the hankering for new places and new sights. Our parents live in Europe and my cousins are in East Asia. We don't see them nearly enough. I haven't seen my cousins in 11 years!

depends on how smart and motivated the kids are. Mine has enough merit that it only costs me 20k/yr (inclusive of housing and food)

It's all about searching for merit. At any level it can be done. My 1240/3.5UW/no AP kid had two in state options that were only $20K (one a top regional and the other ranked ~140-150 at that time 2nd large state U for our state). They also had 2 schools in the 80s that gave 35% merit (privates that were about 60K at the time and this meant cost was only $40K) and one ranked ~130 that would only cost $30K (private that cost ~65K at the time). Had we needed it, they could have found even more merit, just go into the 130-170 range and search.

We could afford it so they attended one of the T80 schools, but if we couldn't afford it, they would have likely gone in state at $20K, worked to earn 10K themselves and we would pay the rest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your kids and see what they think. Your kids may say they prefer the vacays or that they prefer less/no loans.

I see lots of families going on very big trips and also very stressed about upcoming college costs. I get it before middle school, but after, I wouldn't do anything that would impact whether my kids would have a student loan (eg, huge trips, huge home improvements). Some families can't avoid it (I was in that boat as a kid), but if you can, it's worth it to me. I wasn't conflicted about that, but if I were, I would have talked with my kids about it. DH never had loans, and it gave him a huge leg up in his 20s.

+1

Most kids would (or at least will once they are 22-25+) prefer college without debt or with less debt than a vacation you cannot afford. Also they would prefer not to be burdened with parents who cannot afford to retire. So choose wisely what you do.

Yes, travel while you can, don't put it all off until you "retire" and kids are out of college, but don't spend what you don't have. You can travel and do lots of things for low costs. There is so much to see in the USA that you can drive to and stay for moderate prices....you do not need to explore Europe or go on fancy beach vacations, unless you can afford it. If you have raised your kids right, they will get the finances and just enjoy whatever you can actually afford for vacations.