Adult children does not want to work.

[Anonymous]

I quit a great job on account of stress and looking back, it was more lack of grit and common sense than mental health.

[Anonymous]

* and if I didn't have my dad providing for me, I would've stayed and made it work.

[Anonymous]

Physical work is very good for mental health. He can deliver packages or work as a server.
Why is it always the musicians and artist who are so delicate when it comes to working or mental health?
DC started working at 18 while in college. He works 12-hour shifts when needed. I cannot imagine him wanting to move home at 22.

[Anonymous]

Your son is a wimp. Work affects his mental health? Please. Now you and your husband have no control over your son since he moved out. If your father chooses to let him be lazy that's up to him. Your son found someone else to mooch off.

[Anonymous]

Who is paying for the gym, phone, car insurance? If it’s you, cancel it all. If his mental health is at risk, is he seeing a doctor or therapist? If not, he is playing you.

[Anonymous]

Girlllll. Go visit the next thread ...

You should love having that overly educated and capable adult son at home with his mommy and daddy.

[Anonymous]

Did you raise him to follow his dreams? Time to let him know that Santa isn’t real, and he has three months to get his behind out of your house permanently. Oh, and stop paying any of his expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you shot too high with the 170k income in your story

+1 Come on. Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll

People seem to be falling for it though.

170k with a startup is not that much.

OP you said your son referenced mental health but didn’t really give details. Did you help him pursue therapy? It’s obviously fine to have boundaries and clear expectations when an adult child moves home, but instead your husband just had heated arguments all the time. You and your husband are no longer supporting your son. You pushed him out and only time will tell whether that was the best choice. You should have had clear communication and expectations before you agreed to have him move home.

You don’t have any right to tell your estranged father what to do and now you’ve probably lost all influence with your son. You may be about to find out what it feels like to be the estranged parent. At this point all you can do is reach out to your son and listen if he’s willing to talk.

The horror of not having to support the bum.

Your presence in your parents’ lives is not as valuable as you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you shot too high with the 170k income in your story

Right? 😅

I work for AWS, and most of recent CS grads make around 200K per year. One 23-year-old guy makes 300K per year.

wow is AWS a startup? no? oh yeah the zirp era is over by the way, good luck finding 170k startup gigs. And that 23 year old is just collecting advanced severance payments these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you shot too high with the 170k income in your story

Right? 😅

I work for AWS, and most of recent CS grads make around 200K per year. One 23-year-old guy makes 300K per year.

That is very rare except maybe a few select jobs like developers or sales and you only last there 2 months to a few years and many people have mental health issues after working at aws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you shot too high with the 170k income in your story

Right? 😅

I work for AWS, and most of recent CS grads make around 200K per year. One 23-year-old guy makes 300K per year.

wow is AWS a startup? no? oh yeah the zirp era is over by the way, good luck finding 170k startup gigs. And that 23 year old is just collecting advanced severance payments these days.

Its possible but they are high burnout jobs.

[Anonymous]

How is he looking to find himself with 6 months at the gym, playing instruments and learning Spanish?
Where is the introspection? The exploration?

Suggest to him he find out what "finding yourself" means.

He is either a pampered weakling or mentally ill. The latter can be addressed by therapy and medication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you shot too high with the 170k income in your story

Right? 😅

I work for AWS, and most of recent CS grads make around 200K per year. One 23-year-old guy makes 300K per year.

wow is AWS a startup? no? oh yeah the zirp era is over by the way, good luck finding 170k startup gigs. And that 23 year old is just collecting advanced severance payments these days.

What do you consider a startup? Databricks is paying $250k salary and with options the total package can exceed $500k.

Most of the well funded AI companies are paying $200k+ to recent college grads with ML and other AI capabilities…they just don’t hire that many people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband sucks. He's only 22, pretty much still a kid, and It sounds like he's doing productive things, and isn't sitting around playing video games. I'd let him have a year off break.

No, being a man of leisure is not productive. If he wants a year off, he should figure out a way to pay for it. Dad is entirely within his rights.

+1

Parents are enabling their children to be entitled, unproductive adults, in the same what a co-dependent person enables another to be an alcoholic or drug addict.

I blame the parents in many of these cases.

Agree. Sadly, I know quite a few cases like this. In my case, they all happen to be male.