Choosing public to build our local community

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is a no brainer. I’m in DC. Definately private over DCPS. DCPS is a mess and teaches to the lowest common denominator.

Now if you were in a much, much better school district then the decision might be a little harder.

Lastly, no way would I prioritize being friends with neighbors or whatever over my kids education.

BTW OP, even if you decide to go DCPS, you will see lots of kids leave DCPS in upper elementary or by middle school.

Don’t take advice about education from an adult who can’t spell “definitely.” Especially when we have spell check option these days.

What is wrong with you? Why do you come on here and tear at people and waste everyone’s time? Did that zing momentarily make you feel smug and superior in your own dark, sad life? cares that they misspelled a word? They are correct in substance.

[Anonymous]

We are in an exurb but we tried a private and I was not impressed. The curriculum was not great - very wish washy, great teachers were sporadic, and the kids and parents were mostly ok but a few were very entitled/bratty. Frankly the first gen immigrant kids and their parents at highly rated publics are the cohort that raises the bar for both behavior and performance at good public schools. They have zero entitlement and crazy tiger parents who have them at mathnasium and kumon. I don’t push my kid as hard but appreciate having that influence on work ethic.

[Anonymous]

We started in public and moved to private. DD has a strong group of friends she made in the girl scout troop that serves her public school, and that she stayed in after changing schools. But she made no lasting friends from the classroom. The classes are big and it's hard for parents of classmates to meet each other. No classmates lived on our street so there weren't friends on the bus ride. Our public school did not share a class list or do anything to facilitate families meeting.

Honestly the things that build community are smaller groups with adult involvement, like scouts, sports, and church, and neighborhoods where people are out and about.

[Anonymous]

I do not live in DC or have experience with DCPS. But we could probably swing private for our kid, but chose our neighborhood FCPS public which is well-rated though not one of the tippy top schools (we’re not in the Langley pyramid or McLean or Vienna). So far so good is our experience. No issues with violence. Classroom in K was 24 kids with a teacher and an assistant. 2nd grade class is still only about 24 kids. Nice community of kids in our neighborhood and everyone rides the bus together.

We will reevaluate in middle school but so far our experience has been fine.

[Anonymous]

Different students are different. Different schools are different. Do whatever makes sense for your family. Its all fine.

[Anonymous]

We did public and switched at middle school. I think it helped me feel much closer with our neighbors. I know a lot more people in our neighborhood than I would have otherwise met and our kids have neighborhood friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We’re a family that can afford private, but my head and heart are in different places.

My heart says that it wants to try public for K through 5 to build community with our neighbors. Our local DCPS school is rated at 7 out of 10 on a public rating site, and our neighbors who sent their kids there are almost all happy with it (and most go onto public MS).

My head says that our kids will get a better education, be less stressed and more nurtured emotionally, exposed to more and varied core subjects (including foreign language and science in the core curriculum) from K—> on, and be safer (guns, behavioral issues) in private.

Personally, I fear the repercussions of starting my kid off with a silver spoon - and the reality that kids would be located all over DC, MoCo, and NoVa - will hurt our chances of building strong enduring family friendships.

We’re not religious, so we don’t belong to a church or synagogue and don’t have a channel to make friends over time that way.

How would you advise us to decide b/w public and private? We’ve tossed in applications to top privates JIC.

Just stop.

No private is "safer" from guns or drugs etc.. .That is absurd.
"behavioral issues" again you are an idiot. Private has just as many as public. Mommy & daddy donate kid stays, not to mention most privates have no counselors.

Send your kid to public you fool you need the help.

[Anonymous]

OP--you're talking about your head and your heart. You're operating in hypotheticals when you need to be thinking practically about your child. Who are they? What is their individual learning style/personality/wants/needs? Focus on your kid. Go actually visit the public and the privates (don't just apply to the "top privates"--they are not necessarily the best place for your particular kid and family). Ask questions based on what your kid needs. Meet parents. When you have all the information, make your decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP--you're talking about your head and your heart. You're operating in hypotheticals when you need to be thinking practically about your child. Who are they? What is their individual learning style/personality/wants/needs? Focus on your kid. Go actually visit the public and the privates (don't just apply to the "top privates"--they are not necessarily the best place for your particular kid and family). Ask questions based on what your kid needs. Meet parents. When you have all the information, make your decision.

Having a strong local community is good for kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Did not mean to virtue signal at all.

Genuinely looking for insight from those with children a bit older than mine on whether the combination of these values is a wise reason to choose public vs private:

1. To build a strong local community for our family (Have you parents, and your kids, stayed friends with others you met in ES a decade later… or am I being naive?)

2. To build empathy in my kids by being around more diversity in their classmates - and to not expect a coddled learning environment as the “base case” from the get-go

To the PP’s question, we are extremely fortunate in that paying for private from K —> on will not impact our ability to pay for college.

More virtue signaling. Families will move. You will not build a lasting community. To build your child's empathy...that is a learned family value as well as an intrinsic one.

[Anonymous]

I would pick the school that's the best fit for your kids. We are in public but about half of the families we liked moved to private between grades 3-5. They had many reasons for moving but one was always because they couldn't find their community at public. You could always try out public K and make that effort to meet people and make friends and then determine if it's a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We started in public and moved to private. DD has a strong group of friends she made in the girl scout troop that serves her public school, and that she stayed in after changing schools. But she made no lasting friends from the classroom. The classes are big and it's hard for parents of classmates to meet each other. No classmates lived on our street so there weren't friends on the bus ride. Our public school did not share a class list or do anything to facilitate families meeting.

Honestly the things that build community are smaller groups with adult involvement, like scouts, sports, and church, and neighborhoods where people are out and about.

OP here. I really appreciate this. We aren’t religious, so we don’t have a faith based community to join — but could consider registering the kids for scouts. They are just starting a sport class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would pick the school that's the best fit for your kids. We are in public but about half of the families we liked moved to private between grades 3-5. They had many reasons for moving but one was always because they couldn't find their community at public. You could always try out public K and make that effort to meet people and make friends and then determine if it's a good fit.

OP here. It’s helpful to know that a bunch of families transferred to private in third grade. So even if we met great families and made good friends in case or two, sounds like a bunch are likely to switch out.

[Anonymous]

If you want to build your local community, give money or time. Sending your kid there won't buod local community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We’re a family that can afford private, but my head and heart are in different places.

My heart says that it wants to try public for K through 5 to build community with our neighbors. Our local DCPS school is rated at 7 out of 10 on a public rating site, and our neighbors who sent their kids there are almost all happy with it (and most go onto public MS).

My head says that our kids will get a better education, be less stressed and more nurtured emotionally, exposed to more and varied core subjects (including foreign language and science in the core curriculum) from K—> on, and be safer (guns, behavioral issues) in private.

Personally, I fear the repercussions of starting my kid off with a silver spoon - and the reality that kids would be located all over DC, MoCo, and NoVa - will hurt our chances of building strong enduring family friendships.

We’re not religious, so we don’t belong to a church or synagogue and don’t have a channel to make friends over time that way.

How would you advise us to decide b/w public and private? We’ve tossed in applications to top privates JIC.

Just stop.

No private is "safer" from guns or drugs etc.. .That is absurd.
"behavioral issues" again you are an idiot. Private has just as many as public. Mommy & daddy donate kid stays, not to mention most privates have no counselors.

Send your kid to public you fool you need the help.

It’s completely false that most privates don’t have counselors.