I have the biggest crush on my boss and it's driving me crazy

[Anonymous]

So you have never met him in real life? Funny story - I work remotely and was hired about two years ago by a new firm. I only met my boss via video chats and he is very good looking, very charismatic, etc. I finally met him last fall in person and he's about 10" shorter than I had expected (and multiple inches shorter than me). I didn't have a crush on him but it made me laugh inside because the vision I had of him was not at all who he was in real life. So just remember - what you see is not what you'd get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do attend the next Christmas party, OP! For all you know, he could be available…

We do have a summer meetup as well and I may go to that. But I’ll feel like an idiot if I show up and he has a wife.

Go, but get over him before that. This is a hard pass. Unless you end up married (you won’t) the woman ALWAYS loses. When you break up you’ll find all your reviews will say you’re incompetent and everyone will hate you for the perceived unfair treatment. It’s a no win situation. Find a ‘boss’ in a different company to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t know how to google?

What to find out if he’s married?! So stupid - I don’t do social media and my home is owned by a family trust. We were married 20 years ago in a different state, so there is zero info on my personal life - ZERO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you have never met him in real life? Funny story - I work remotely and was hired about two years ago by a new firm. I only met my boss via video chats and he is very good looking, very charismatic, etc. I finally met him last fall in person and he's about 10" shorter than I had expected (and multiple inches shorter than me). I didn't have a crush on him but it made me laugh inside because the vision I had of him was not at all who he was in real life. So just remember - what you see is not what you'd get.

Ha! I’m female and work for a female boss online. When I met her I was astonished she was about 40lbs more than I had envisioned. She’s bottom heavy so on camera she looked so slim

[Anonymous]

Beware of the Zoom filters LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work remotely and live on the opposite side of the country from him. I have no idea if he's single or married.

But, dang, he is so sexy and an incredible boss. I've always had a thing for bosses, and he's one of the best ones I've ever had.

I didn't dare go to the company Christmas party (they fly in anyone who wants to go) bc I knew I'd end up making a move and embarrassing myself.

I need to get over this crush. Any tips?

I’m thinking there’s something else going on in your life, something stressful, and/something going on within yourself and this is your way of distracting yourself because you either can’t or would prefer not to address it.

Telling your boss or even a colleague your feelings or thoughts could lead to all kinds of problems including harassment accusations. Dating a colleague or supervisor or even being inappropriate towards them will always create problems. Please, please find out why this is consuming you to the point that you avoided a work function because you were concerned about how you would handle yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you have never met him in real life? Funny story - I work remotely and was hired about two years ago by a new firm. I only met my boss via video chats and he is very good looking, very charismatic, etc. I finally met him last fall in person and he's about 10" shorter than I had expected (and multiple inches shorter than me). I didn't have a crush on him but it made me laugh inside because the vision I had of him was not at all who he was in real life. So just remember - what you see is not what you'd get.

Looks are only the tip of the iceberg or the book cover. If he’s a great leader, understands and treats his team well, that initial disappointment could turn around and become a crush based on something more concrete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do attend the next Christmas party, OP! For all you know, he could be available…

We do have a summer meetup as well and I may go to that. But I’ll feel like an idiot if I show up and he has a wife.

Yep. You will. This happened few Christmas parties ago when a new hire (associate) started hitting on my DH (a partner). I will never forget the look of complete and utter mortification on her face when she realized that the person standing in the group next to them was his wife and witnessed the entire interaction.

And no. It didn’t end in a threesome. It ended with her not being on any more projects with him.