Feel bad about starting off the day yelling

[Anonymous]

If you are not yelling, either you have

a) beautifully naturally behaved children
b) bundles of anxiety who faint at the thought of rule-breaking and collapse into quivering pools of maladjusted jello at any other form of stress
c) undomesticated hellspawn

DCUM is probably an even mix of all three.

[Anonymous]

One day?!? You're doing great. No one is getting through a school year without a day like this. It happens. Apologize when they come home from school, and use this as a reason to get some extra time to yourself/sleep/relaxation over the next few days. Parenting is hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if there's anytime yelling is appropriate it's for physical aggression.

Yep, this. I wouldn't beat yourself up much about yelling in this situation.

[Anonymous]

What is the punishment for kicking?

[Anonymous]

There was an article in The Cut about this today -

https://www.thecut.com/article/resolving-not-to-yell-at-my-kids.html

[Anonymous]

Today was a bad day in my house. DH is traveling and I think it's thrown off the balance and I'm stressed at work. The kids are anxious about bizarro school stuff. There was yelling. I took away iPad time. I stuck to that consequence but that was a punishment for me too. Not my best day. Try again tomorrow?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not normal but today was just one of those days. Also compounding issues with one kid and they boiled over. Got kids up and ready for school. Kid 2 was mad that I didn't have more of a certain breakfast item (she had eaten it all in the past few days and I haven't been to the grocery store). We have plenty of other food in the house. Kid 2 asked Kid 1 for said breakfast item and Kid 1 said no. That should have been the end of the story. Instead Kid 2 got mad, started whining incessantly and then kicked Kid 1. I lost it and started yelling. Obviously not the best way to start the day. Please commiserate with me and let me know that this isn't the worst thing in the world. Have apologized to Kid 2 about yelling but stand by my statement that she can't kick her siblings and there is plenty of other food in the house for her eat (very very picky eater).

Where was your spouse while this was going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When your kids are teens, they're going to tell you that growing up, you always seemed like a very angry person. Remember this story as an example why they have that perception.

I had my fair share of days like this. My teens don’t tell me I always seemed like an angry person. I think it strange sometimes that kids can be absolute wrecking balls, but if a mom becomes even a little dysregulated herself, she is an “angry person.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your kids are teens, they're going to tell you that growing up, you always seemed like a very angry person. Remember this story as an example why they have that perception.

I had my fair share of days like this. My teens don’t tell me I always seemed like an angry person. I think it strange sometimes that kids can be absolute wrecking balls, but if a mom becomes even a little dysregulated herself, she is an “angry person.”

Not worth replying to PP, honestly. People who are that judgmental end up with their own issues with their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your kids are teens, they're going to tell you that growing up, you always seemed like a very angry person. Remember this story as an example why they have that perception.

I had my fair share of days like this. My teens don’t tell me I always seemed like an angry person. I think it strange sometimes that kids can be absolute wrecking balls, but if a mom becomes even a little dysregulated herself, she is an “angry person.”

Not worth replying to PP, honestly. People who are that judgmental end up with their own issues with their kids.

You sound like you have extensive experience with that, pp. Are you projecting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your kids are teens, they're going to tell you that growing up, you always seemed like a very angry person. Remember this story as an example why they have that perception.

I had my fair share of days like this. My teens don’t tell me I always seemed like an angry person. I think it strange sometimes that kids can be absolute wrecking balls, but if a mom becomes even a little dysregulated herself, she is an “angry person.”

Not worth replying to PP, honestly. People who are that judgmental end up with their own issues with their kids.

You sound like you have extensive experience with that, pp. Are you projecting?

lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if there's anytime yelling is appropriate it's for physical aggression.

Yep, this. I wouldn't beat yourself up much about yelling in this situation.

Agree. My kids don't think I'm an angry person by any means. But I do raise my voice and step in aggressively on the rare occasion when there is physical violence because they need to know it's 100% not acceptable. And I don't believe in gentle parenting when it comes to stuff like physical violence.