Bullying investigation complicated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Your son was not on the text why is this his problem?

Op: that’s my point. My ds is really upset about this but he can’t control other people

Well sure he can be upset. Or he could be happy a friend stood up for him

He goes to school tomorrow and he says nothing til either a teacher or administrator asks to speak with him about the matter.

Then if and only if they do he says he will but he wants his parents in attendence.

Your kid is not equipt to handle this on his own given he is being investigation for both sides of the equation.

Not shore how he can be the bully and the victim that sounds wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know why your son's friend would have the kid's phone number or bother to get involved if he doesn't even go to their school. There must be a reason or a connection there, but what is it? Did your son give his friend the number, or do the two kids know each other somehow? That's likely important to understand the situation.

Op: I’m an old person and I’m using the word text with snap interchangeably. The friend found the kid by name on snap chat

Okay, but why would this child care enough to do that? And is there any history between these kids or is this the first? Your son told his friend the kid's full name?

Ops child is not as innocent in this as OP chooses to believe. I'm not even sure why the SN is relevant here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:but why would this child care enough to do that? And is there any history between these kids or is this the first? Your son told his friend the kid's full name?

The kid has a unique name. The friend is a troublemaker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:but why would this child care enough to do that? And is there any history between these kids or is this the first? Your son told his friend the kid's full name?

The kid has a unique name. The friend is a troublemaker

Time to step up the parenting OP. No more Snapchat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:but why would this child care enough to do that? And is there any history between these kids or is this the first? Your son told his friend the kid's full name?

The kid has a unique name. The friend is a troublemaker

You didn't answer the questions.

Why is your child spending time with a "troublemaker"?

[Anonymous]

Tell him to just tell the truth. That’s all. There will always be a his side , her side, his side routine. That’s for the principals to sort out. He’ll probably just get a warning. Just make sure that he LEARNs from this. That’s all they are after —lessons learned. Your kid could be in the wrong or slightly in the wrong or even innocent. But, help him learn from this. Life has struggles. It’s how he comes out from this. Teach him to take away something. Perhaps it’s being more careful with who he trusts or who he hangs out with. Don’t lose sight of the big picture. Always chose love. Always be kind. Etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on the context. I don't think anyone here can tell you.

This OP. You would need to give more background on the bullying situation. Instead, you have repeated yourself multiple times. If you are interested in better advice, you'll need to give more information.

[Anonymous]

Make sure he doesn't talk to school administrators alone. Parent must be present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, the text could definitely be seen as a big deal. Your son needs to get in front of this before it comes across that he and his friend are ganging up on this other kid.

But my son wasn’t on the text. He didn’t follow up with a text or any context on his own. And, my son’s friend doesn’t even go to the same school as these kids. He lives in town but goes to a different school

But, what your son did is sort of like when the mob calls in an enforcer to do his intimidation for him. OK, I get that is maybe not what your son intended, or he is too young to realize that that would be the friends reaction, but I also hope you can see how it is very common for kids who are bullies to use their social network to continue or extend the circle of bullying.

I know that you, as the parent would prefer to see your son as a good kid who wouldn't use his peers to bully on his behalf, but I also hope that you can recognize that that does often happen and how people would perceive (rightly or wrongly) that he had more involvement than he claims.

He can either get in front of it and say to someone appropriate (administrator?) that it happened and it wasn't his intention but it made him realize that it would be hurtful to the other person and he apologizes and promises not to expand the beef by talking to other peers about it. Or he can apologize directly to the person who was bullied if he is not on a no contact request. Since he's young some adult should be mentoring him about how to make a good appropriate apology that doesn't sound like he's making excuses or denying responsibility.