My friend is dying what to write

[Anonymous]

That he accomplished a lot in his life.

Was important to many people.

Gave them happy memories.

[Anonymous]

What would you want to hear?

Some of the stuff listed.

Plus the story of a great day/project/trip.

[Anonymous]

Ask AI

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve posted a couple times before but my friend is now in his last couple weeks. His wife has asked for supportive comments in case he wakes up.

We have worked together for years - lots of happy hours and work trips but didn’t really socialize outside of that. I didn’t meet his current wife until he got sick and he only met mine at firm events.

Weirdly, a week before he found out about the cancer we had dinner together and joked about how we were each other’s longest continuous relationship.

Anyway what do I write. I mean other people are going to see this. A joke? Get well soon? I don’t know.

Write what you would say to him. Tell him how much his friendship meant to you and how you will cherish your memories of him and how knowing him has enhanced the quality of your life and that his life made a difference to everyone he knew. Wish peace to his spirit.

[Anonymous]

Tell a good fun story that his wife, kids etc can appreciate and be honest you're going to miss him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him how much you’ve enjoyed his friendship. Something about him you admire. Something important he contributed to your life. And a wicked tale that will
Make everyone laugh.

The wife of a colleague of mine did this a few years ago when he was dying, and this is the approach I took - what I appreciated about him and what I learned from him. I didn’t have any wicked tales to tell, but that would have been fun.

[Anonymous]

My grandmother had 12 siblings. He is the only alive. All 11 have passed away. My grandma is amazing. She is very smart. And amazingly at 98 she still takes her own bath, walk her dog, cook for herself etc. I did ask her how it's like seeing your siblings one by one go? One the best insightful conversation I have ever had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A little different, but maybe still helpful, years ago I wrote a letter to a coworker’s wife, after his untimely death. I wrote how he had shared on several occasions how proud he was of her (and included a specific example) and of their daughters (and again shared a couple of specifics.

I wrote about how coworkers greatly enjoyed working with him, and respected him.

Once you get started, I’m sure it’ll come to you. Best wishes.

This is the kind of letter people save and read over and over in their grief. I still have a shoebox of the cards people send when my sibling died 25 years ago. It’s comforting to learn more about them through other people’s eyes.

[Anonymous]

Re write what you wrote here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re write what you wrote here.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts- it turns out there are still some things that Al can’t do. Here is what I wrote I use brackets “[]” to keep it anonymous.

[friend]

I hope when you read this, you’re doing well. But I didn’t want any more time to go by before I told you it’s been a great ride.

Hitting the bars with you after [regional meetings] was by far the best part of those weeks. And the best part of being at the bar was hearing your stories of your dogs and your wife.

You kept this place running. There are many times when you weren’t just the key person, but you were the only person working with me to [fix serious problems] Every time someone mentions [facility] it occurs to me that it wouldn’t still exist if it wasn’t for you.

Wherever you’re headed, save a place at the bar for me.

[Anonymous]

Agreed with others. This is now for her and not him. I would share an appropriate but touching story, your respect and admiration and just be true to how you feel. She'll likely read it to him. He'll hear it but won't respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See you on the other side

This. And a promise to always be there for his wife and kids if they need anything.

[Anonymous]

That's perfect OP. Good for you for doing it.

On the occasions where I've found a way to do something similar (which can feel very hard and awkward) I've been so glad that I did it when people told me how much it meant to them. And when my parents died and I was on the receiving end of similar things, it meant so much to me.

Glad you sent it.