Managing teen boundaries with mentally ill grandparent?

[Anonymous]

Of course block her!! Of course. Long overdue.
Your kids are entitled to a normal existence.
Grandma is not entitled to torture them
(mental illness or not. Doesn't matter)

What everyone hopes, hopes for, wishes something would be - - all of it contributes to not facing reality. Do reasonable things to protect yourselves.

[Anonymous]

OP, stop obsessing over "the best", how to take the best course of action. It doesn't matter. Just stop Grandma. You spinning and turning this over in your mind and the angst going into this decision -- IS ADDING to the nonsense. Your kids do not need to pick-up on you tip towing around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, stop obsessing over "the best", how to take the best course of action. It doesn't matter. Just stop Grandma. You spinning and turning this over in your mind and the angst going into this decision -- IS ADDING to the nonsense. Your kids do not need to pick-up on you tip towing around.

You’re absolutely right, and I feel horrible that I’ve done that. I’m going to remedy it today!

[Anonymous]

Well, she is going to know you blocked her when her messages aren’t delivered. Then what? What is she bound to do?

[Anonymous]

when people act out of the ordinary (and well people do too), they get blocked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:when people act out of the ordinary (and well people do too), they get blocked.

What’s “out of the ordinary” about texting your grandchild that you miss them?

[Anonymous]

She throws a fit. And you, probably DH lives with it. Because you do the right thing. And you take the consequences. And the right thing, above all else, is you let your kids protect themselves.

And DH acts too. On Boundaries. And probably minimizing contact

[Anonymous]

about texting your grandchild that you miss them?

Did you NOT read the texts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, stop obsessing over "the best", how to take the best course of action. It doesn't matter. Just stop Grandma. You spinning and turning this over in your mind and the angst going into this decision -- IS ADDING to the nonsense. Your kids do not need to pick-up on you tip towing around.

Yes, the kids internalized their parents indecision about this. The OP's wishy-washy words on here exemplify that. Just make a clean break. There's nothing else to do and delaying it will lead to more frustration.

[Anonymous]

Don't let your DH's issues affect how your children learn to establish personal boundaries. It's already happening with their worry about their dad

That is an essential life skill. Make sure they know they have the right to feel how they feel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:when people act out of the ordinary (and well people do too), they get blocked.

What’s “out of the ordinary” about texting your grandchild that you miss them?

Oh read the post FFS. First of all, no adult should text any child during the school day at all, let alone expecting a response. Second, it's the escalation that's the real problem. Third, the context of a bad/weird relationship with OP's DH makes the whole thing fraught and all the more important for grandma to behave appropriately and not like a weird obsessive.

[Anonymous]

Missing kids is Granny's cross to bear.
Block her.
She's nuts.
DH is scarred and an enabler.
Protect the kids. Or he will turn into nutty Dad and Gramps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Missing kids is Granny's cross to bear.
Block her.
She's nuts.
DH is scarred and an enabler.
Protect the kids. Or he will turn into nutty Dad and Gramps.

Teens should be able to forge their own relationships with their grandparents, especially when they had relationships growing up

[Anonymous]

You will need to be in in some family therapy. Because at some point, you all should’ve had a very Frank conversation about how grandma’s mind is not working properly and though she may love you, she may do and say some things that aren’t healthy and your husband just needs to learn how to deal with the fact that his mother is cuckoo for cocoa puffs.
BLOCK HER!

[Anonymous]

You're talking about a teen here - OP I'd let the kid block her. I wouldn't do it for your teen. This is a huge learning moment about boundaries. And with people like this it's typically actually best not to state the boundaries first (unlike with normal people). Just enforce them.