13 year old watching porn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also make sure to frequently review the sites he's visiting. Turns out a website called deviant art has a lot of "corn" and a lot of video aggrelation sites that aren't youtube have a lot of corn.

Deviant art has nude photos, not porn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just found porn on my (just turned) 13 yo son’s device. I think this is too young. Dad will talk with him about porn (ok to explore your body, but porn isn’t real, consent, etc.). We have also blocked the sites we know he is using (screen time controls). What else should we do?

You could confiscate his device for a while, but it might not stop him. At 13, he is at the age of curiosity and that is unlikely to stop. I do not remember how we got them, but me and my friends used to look at adult magazines. There was one series of them that particularly fascinated me. We also found out of fulfilling our curiosity and one of my friends was very resourceful.

Depending on the sort of porn he is looking at, it's probably not such a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put parental controls on the router level, not just on individual devices.

How does one do that? Pointers please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put parental controls on the router level, not just on individual devices.

How does one do that? Pointers please.

Kids aren’t dumb. They’ll quickly learn what host files are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of what others have said. It's very important too explain that:

1. sometimes, women (and sometimes young boys) are exploited for porn

2. It's not what a real, healthy relationship looks like. Hopefully they've seen you and spouse, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, etc. interacting and know what a healthy relationship looks like

3. It's extremely important to be open and honest with your partner, about what they like/want, what feels good for them and about what you like/want and feels good for you, and if you cannot do that with your partner, you are not ready to be having a sexual relationship with them

Your 13 year old doesn't want to see their grandparents having sex. Gross.

Are you the 13 year old because that’s not what PP said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of what others have said. It's very important too explain that:

1. sometimes, women (and sometimes young boys) are exploited for porn

2. It's not what a real, healthy relationship looks like. Hopefully they've seen you and spouse, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, etc. interacting and know what a healthy relationship looks like

3. It's extremely important to be open and honest with your partner, about what they like/want, what feels good for them and about what you like/want and feels good for you, and if you cannot do that with your partner, you are not ready to be having a sexual relationship with them

Your 13 year old doesn't want to see their grandparents having sex. Gross.

Are you the 13 year old because that’s not what PP said.

Sure sounded like it. Otherwise it was a non sequitur that has nothing to do with porn.

[Anonymous]

Of course you take the device for now.

Consider switching from a system of blacklisting problematic sites to whitelisting appropriate sites. He can earn back the privilege of the broader Internet once he’s proven himself responsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cover it’s not real, it isn’t what girls really like, it’s cartoonish, it’s designed to be addictive and negatively affect your ability to have normal sex.

But is that really being honest?

While I agree with most of what you wrote, we sometimes watch as a married couple and some of it is exactly what I really like. Depends on the person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cover it’s not real, it isn’t what girls really like, it’s cartoonish, it’s designed to be addictive and negatively affect your ability to have normal sex.

But is that really being honest?

While I agree with most of what you wrote, we sometimes watch as a married couple and some of it is exactly what I really like. Depends on the person.

Are you a man or a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course you take the device for now.

Consider switching from a system of blacklisting problematic sites to whitelisting appropriate sites. He can earn back the privilege of the broader Internet once he’s proven himself responsible.

lol. You don't seem to understand how internet protocols work.

But sure, do this, OP. It will be a good opportunity for him to learn about DNS and HTTPS-SNI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cover it’s not real, it isn’t what girls really like, it’s cartoonish, it’s designed to be addictive and negatively affect your ability to have normal sex.

But is that really being honest?

While I agree with most of what you wrote, we sometimes watch as a married couple and some of it is exactly what I really like. Depends on the person.

Yes it is being honest. I am a different poster, and this is exactly what a good friend of mine who is a therapist said about the dangers of porn for young people. It can actually hurt their ability to get gratification from normal sex. Surely you realize it is totally different when you are a mature adult couple watching porn versus an immature 13 year old with access to all the crazy stuff on the internet. Yes, it depends on the person, and the person we are talking about her is a 13 year old boy who does not know what a normal healthy sexual relationship is like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you take the device for now.

Consider switching from a system of blacklisting problematic sites to whitelisting appropriate sites. He can earn back the privilege of the broader Internet once he’s proven himself responsible.

lol. You don't seem to understand how internet protocols work.

But sure, do this, OP. It will be a good opportunity for him to learn about DNS and HTTPS-SNI.

Very true. I just know that we whitelist the sites we want, instead of endlessly adding sites to a blacklist. If I’m wrong, feel free to ignore me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you take the device for now.

Consider switching from a system of blacklisting problematic sites to whitelisting appropriate sites. He can earn back the privilege of the broader Internet once he’s proven himself responsible.

lol. You don't seem to understand how internet protocols work.

But sure, do this, OP. It will be a good opportunity for him to learn about DNS and HTTPS-SNI.

Very true. I just know that we whitelist the sites we want, instead of endlessly adding sites to a blacklist. If I’m wrong, feel free to ignore me.

Super easy to bypass. But I'm sure your kids know that.

[Anonymous]

Tell him scary stories about online blackmail and let him find some magazines in a box in the basement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cover how it exploits people, how this isn’t what sex is really like, that women don’t actually like being treated this way, most don’t look this way, etc.

How old are you? And when was the last time you looked at porn?

You're going to lose all credibility if you go in with these tired, old talking points.

What (many things to choose from, obv) is wrong with you?