When is it too late to buy a larger house for the sake of your kids?

[Anonymous]

You need to raise the kids you have. My parents grew up in the city and wanted to give their kids the suburbs, and yards, and grass. They got two kids that hated spending time outdoors, and just wanted to go into the city to do the "fun" things. I played in our back yard like twice my entire childhood. And once was on the concrete patio. When my mother would send me out to play in the backyard with the dog, I'd stand right near the back door on the patio and throw the frisbee to the dog and have her bring it to me.

You can provide, but it doesn't mean your kids will appreciate.

[Anonymous]

What's the parking situation at your townhouse?
A major benefit I see of a SFH instead of a townhouse is there is (usually) more parking. Every townhouse community I know of is a parking disaster. Every unit has at least one car more than they have dedicated spaces, and street parking/guest spaces are limited.

I know your kid is still a baby and you're not thinking about him driving yet--but if you think you'd be getting him a car when he is 16 you'll need a place to park it.

[Anonymous]

OP, the best -thing- you can do for your kids --- is to have a realistic view of life. They will be fine. Let go of this dreamy nostalgia for your past. They will have their own sweet memories. Just different. And they are entitled to their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone trying to tell OP what she should want? That always drive me nuts about DCUM posters. We're all trying to give our children a childhood reflective of what we want most for them, even though that varies greatly from family to family.

OP, we moved into our house when one of my children was 11 and the other was just turning 5. Both of them consider it home, full of memories. The older one comes home from college and can't wait to sleep in his own bed surrounded by memorabilia from his childhood. And in a neighborhood with friends he knew in middle and high school. The younger obviously has few memories that weren't made while growing up here. It's not at all too late to buy a larger home.

PP. Mine was one of the longer posts above this. I don't see it as telling OP what she should "want" as much as what it might be like if she doesn't move and what it might feel like on the other side of childhood.

DCUM posters are opinionated and often have a wide variety of opinions. It's easy to disregard the ones that someone finds irrelevant. But sometimes you might also find yourself persuaded by an opposite opinion. I find value in that.

Housing is expensive.

Also, providing children with what you had in your childhood often doesn't resonate with them. For example, I'm raising two boys and my whole extended family has boys. We're from a generation of all girls. No interest in most of the toys we lovingly saved even though we presented them in a gender-neutral fashion.

[Anonymous]

Your kids don’t need a larger house, especially one you can’t afford.

[Anonymous]

We built a house and moved in when my two kids were in middle school. This house has a great back yard, which did not get used very much because they were beyond the age of playing in the backyard. But the house itself has been fantastic. It has a huge basement that is great for sleepovers or teen hangouts. They both like their rooms very much.

It is a shame they didn't have this backyard when they were younger, but oh well. When we had tiny yards when they were little, we/they played in the tiny yard and went to parks. It worked out.

[Anonymous]

That's not too late. It's never too late.

[Anonymous]

Go for the house. It's a smart move for your kids.

[Anonymous]

My daughters friends parents just bought an amazing fancy trade up house a few weeks ago when youngest went off to college.

They waited till youngest off to college as did not want kids wrecking their dream house.

[Anonymous]

We moved to a large house with a yard when kid was 6. Not too late at all. However, it would have been easier to move before starting public school.

You can have a townhouse with a yard and/or green common areas, btw (we did, before moving). You could move now to one of those, if that's the priority.

[Anonymous]

I live in a SFH neighborhood in NoVA and the people with dogs use their backyards more than the people with kids.

Only time I’ve seen kids regularly using their yards was during the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

We planned ahead. Moved from the townhome to a small house with a yard before we had our first. It had a fenced yard and a small yard with a play set he was in every day.

By the time he was 3 we moved to a big house with lots of space for all and a good sized yard.

By middle school the yard isn't that important, but a neighborhood you can bike in is.

[Anonymous]

Kids played daily in the back yard till about 6-8.

Under 6 was when it was most useful causes I’d just leave them in backyard and could watch them from kitchen. But also at this age a small patch of backyard that some townhouses have would be more than enough. We also spent a lot of time at nearby playgrounds.

As they get older, they play more with neighbor kids and are more interested in games so backyard becomes too small m. They go to nearby playground.

I wouldn’t stress about though. A townhouse and nearby playgrounds provide a lot of options and what made biggest difference was finding neighbor friends that they could hang out with. This was much more important than having a yard.

[Anonymous]

My coworker raised her 2 kids in a townhouse right from K to high school because they couldn’t afford a SFH in that school district. Kids were always very happy. They had plenty of friends in their townhouse community, played at the public parks nearby, walked to all their schools and the local pool and rented a yearly community garden plot. Move when it makes sense for your family and don’t stress about timel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's not too late. It's never too late.

100%
It is the right time when you are financially ready. Take your time and make the move when it is comfortable!