Did anyone's relationship improve after separation/divorce?

[Anonymous]

I also ended up surprise divorced, but now there’s just nothing. We only communicate very formally, via email only. It eliminates arguments. It’s also helpful for me. After the bomb dropped, I really struggled with reconciling his revisionist history with my own memories. I felt really crazy and stupid. Having an email trail means I can see exactly what was said, and it also means I have time to collect my thoughts before replying. No kneejerk reactions. Everybody wins.

[Anonymous]

OP, he's doing none of the housework and I bet he's doing a lot less childcare now, right? Of course, he's nicer. He just stuck you with his responsibilities and gets to be free while calling himself father. The ultimate shirk.

[Anonymous]

Yes it was quite messy but now we are chill. I think most of it is him being “out of range” so I don’t have to deal with him so much. He is still annoying and stubborn and impossible to reason with, but I now have the cool to pull his strings and get the result I want, plus he has become more agreeable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the middle of a divorce I didn't want or see coming, but recently it seems like we have been able to coordinate and support each other (regarding logistics and children) better than during our marriage. He has certain freedoms he wished for, I suppose, and I have less work overall with him out of the house and built in alone time when has our children. I am not posing this as a question of whether we might get back together--no way, I have learned boundaries now, and we are not spending any time together outside of our children and there is no intimacy nor desire. But the negative energy and anger that he was bringing to our home and family seems to be dissipating. I'm just wondering if anyone has lived a version of a positive co-parenting relationship even after such disruptions. So many stories on here are just awful, and that's where I thought I was headed. (And may still be, maybe this is just the calm before the storm.)

You both don’t have to put up with each other’s BS